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Started By
Message
re: We're all stuck in a rut trying to do what people who lied to us told us to do
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:00 pm to TDsngumbo
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:00 pm to TDsngumbo
my life has been nothing like yours, we have very little in common. that doesn't make me special, it just means there is always another way
0
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:01 pm to TDsngumbo
quote:
We've been told that two days a week to ourselves is acceptable,
You make some valid points, except for this.
Everyone outside of the extreme wealthy throughout history would kill for two days to themselves.
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:02 pm to TDsngumbo
quote:
We've been lied to for generations. We've been told to get a job with a good salary, benefits, and a 401k, so we did. Those of us who haven't done so yet are breaking our own mental stability trying to do so. We've been told to climb the ladder, so we did. Those of us who haven't done this yet are busting our arse working harder and maybe even longer hours to do so. At the expense of our mental stability. We've been told that it's normal to ask for permission to spend time with our kids, so that's what we do. Then we start calculating when we'll have that allotted time accrued back to do so again. Next year or months later. We've been led to believe that taking some time for ourselves is called "recharging" so we can get back to the grind "with a fresh mind and/or clear vision" soon after. We've been promised that a 9-6 or 8-5 or 8-4 is normal, and we're believing it. We've been told that two days a week to ourselves is acceptable, and we squeeze household chores like laundry, errands, cutting the grass into these two days. We work around kid's sports, our own "down" time, and trying to make time for aging parents into these two days, and the evening before returning to work we're exhausted more than we are on worknights. Then we do it all again bright and early the following morning. Before we know it, our kids aren't children anymore and want nothing to do with us. Our parents are frail and/or deceased. We're aging and hurting in places we never hurt before and can't do the things that make us happy as much anymore. Then suddenly the kids are out of the house, we're burying parents, and staring down the barrel of 60 years old hoping and praying that somehow retirement is good to us and we're wishing we had taken more time for ourselves and our families when we still had the chance. And we hope our kids somehow do things differently but are successful at the same time. What the frick are we doing? It doesn't have to be this way. Why have we fallen into this trap?
Truth is you weren’t put on this earth for your pleasure. You were put here for His pleasure. When you stop thinking about your needs and start thinking about the needs of those who are lost; you’ll be so spiritually enriched “the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace”.
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:06 pm to BK Lounge
quote:
I agree with you, but most people will tell you to just shut up and go back to work .
It’s a sick system.. im not smart enough to have all the answers, but i just know that this aint it .
What are you gonna do? Not eat? Generations before us farmed the land and worked from dawn to dusk just to feed themselves.
Society has evolved so that I don't have to work in the field all day--I can work in an office and do computer shite and trade money for the food I would have otherwise have had to grow myself. And I somehow bet my life today is easier than the aforementioned generations.
Easier. Not Easy. Life is hard. there are no free lunches.
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:09 pm to Grievous Angel
He's a passport bro.
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:15 pm to TDsngumbo
Ever notice how people who think everything in life should be easy tend to end up having the hardest go at it?
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:16 pm to OGTiger
quote:
Truth is you weren’t put on this earth for your pleasure. You were put here for His pleasure. When you stop thinking about your needs and start thinking about the needs of those who are lost; you’ll be so spiritually enriched “the things of earth will grow strangely dim, in the light of His glory and grace”.
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:19 pm to TDsngumbo
quote:
We've been told to get a job with a good salary, benefits, and a 401k, so we did. Those of us who haven't done so yet
are stupid
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:19 pm to Antonio Moss
quote:
Like what, specifically?
Like the price of almost every aspect of a middle class life -- from insurance, to food, to every other product, to buying/renting houses, to every service.
If you can control the prices of those things more power to you.
For us in the middle class, all those things are increasing more than wages. That increase isn't creating more or better jobs but does seem to be resulting in skyrocketing profits for a select group of shareholders that may have pushed it to a level that's unsustainable if, as a country, we really want to continue to have a true middle class.
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:20 pm to BK Lounge
quote:
Cant speak for the OP, but my solution was to semi-retire early, in my 40s, outside of America where my US dollar bills go 5-10x further than they did in America…
What country or region, if you don't mind me asking?
Just curious. Found out yesterday that a good friend is cashing out of this shitshow in her late 40s and moving to Vietnam.
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:23 pm to jcaz
quote:
We've been told to get a job with a good salary, benefits, and a 401k, so we did. Those of us who haven't done so yet are breaking our own mental stability trying to do so.
so are you're saying that getting a good job with a good salary, benefits and a 401k is a good idea, but you fricked up and didn't do it for way too long?
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:23 pm to TDsngumbo
I struggled with this for a bit, and still fall into the trap from time to time, but what helped me was accidentally being exposed to some Buddhist ideas. Mainly, that all life is suffering (really, dukkha, which doesn't exactly translate to "suffering," but that's the closest word we have in English), that the root of that dukkha is attachment/desire/ego/etc., and to end that dukkha we must break free from those things.
That's really helped me accept a lot of things in life that used to trouble me. I'm not saying you need to go live in a monastery in Tibet, but some acknowledgement of the causes of unhappiness can help reframe that unhappiness and gives you a different angle to attack it from.
That's really helped me accept a lot of things in life that used to trouble me. I'm not saying you need to go live in a monastery in Tibet, but some acknowledgement of the causes of unhappiness can help reframe that unhappiness and gives you a different angle to attack it from.
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:24 pm to TDsngumbo
quote:yep - but are you willing to make the sacrifices necessary to live free?
We've been lied to for generations.
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:31 pm to ruzil
quote:
I decided to go to college because I wanted to learn.
I graduated with a stem degree and got a job in pharma right after college. I did that job and decided I wanted to do more with my life, so I decided to go to dental school in my mid thirties with a wife and two small children. It helped that my wife had a great job and was able to support us on her income.
I graduated dental school and worked for other dentists for two and a half years.
I networked and found a practice to buy and built it in my image for 24 years. Along the way I paid my student loans off, practice loans and the office that I designed and built.
I sold the practice and real estate to a protégée 2.5 years ago and retired or so I thought.
I we moved and I missed dentistry so I am back working for another dentist and loving it.
Nobody told me to do any of this. I did it on my own.
Maybe you should make some decisions for yourself, come up with a plan and stop letting others decide what is best for you.
quote:
Maybe you should make some decisions for yourself, come up with a plan and stop letting others decide what is best for you.
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:32 pm to wm72
quote:
Like the price of almost every aspect of a middle class life -- from insurance, to food, to every other product, to buying/renting houses, to every service.
If you can control the prices of those things more power to you.
Do we not have the choice on where to shop, what products to buy, where to live?
quote:
For us in the middle class, all those things are increasing more than wages.
Well, you can thank the Federal Reserve's never-ending money printer for that.
quote:
That increase isn't creating more or better jobs but does seem to be resulting in skyrocketing profits for a select group of shareholders that may have pushed it to a level that's unsustainable if, as a country, we really want to continue to have a true middle class.
Again, who? Which specific industries have record-breaking profits? There has been a roughly 3% increase in corporate profits since 2019, most of it coming from six industries. One is tech/AI, which is in the middle of an explosion. The other five are almost all due to government-backed spending, stimulus spending, or foreign policy (oil and gas).
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:34 pm to TDsngumbo
That’s why I don’t worry about that, I left education and teaching and found a gravy sales job. I make more, and keep to myself and my family. I don’t worry about debt, I worry about things that make me comfortable and happy.
This post was edited on 5/1/26 at 3:35 pm
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:37 pm to TDsngumbo
You are more than welcome to drop out of the modern economy and farm for your food from sun up to sun down 7 days a week like the last 10,000 years of human history.
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:42 pm to Antonio Moss
quote:
Do we not have the choice on where to shop, what products to buy, where to live?
That's not really having control over those expenses. Sure, you can shop and control where you make those expenses, but just like taxes, you have no control over the prices of goods and services.
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:43 pm to BK Lounge
quote:
I agree with you, but most people will tell you to just shut up and go back to work .
It’s a sick system.. im not smart enough to have all the answers, but i just know that this aint it .
You don't have to participate in it. Millions of people don't.
Posted on 5/1/26 at 3:49 pm to TDsngumbo
Sounds like the beginning to a communist manifesto.
Dont be a sucker and believe the side that tells you you’re being taken advantage of.
If you don’t like what you’re doing find a way to survive and don’t let others determine your standards.
Now, I’ll keep working hard in order to have fun and have great times with family and friends
It beats the alternative of living with dirt floors, no ac and paddling a dugout
Dont be a sucker and believe the side that tells you you’re being taken advantage of.
If you don’t like what you’re doing find a way to survive and don’t let others determine your standards.
Now, I’ll keep working hard in order to have fun and have great times with family and friends
It beats the alternative of living with dirt floors, no ac and paddling a dugout
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