re: O-T Dads: Who here was over 40 when you had your first child?

I had my first at 30 and i can honestly say, i realized at 35 that i would have been much happier waiting till then.

But after 40, absolutely fricking hellzzzzzz no. I’m over 40 now and there is ZERO about a new born i want to deal with

I've shared this before here, but my wife and I had twin boys at 42. That probably extended my work life, but it's been a blast. Being more secure financially, we have been able to do things with them at a young age we couldn't with our other kids. We also have a 26 year old son, 16 year old daughter and the twins are 6. So in about 4 years I guess we will give it another go!

Raises hand.

Pros: I was much more mature than my younger self and had a better understanding of how to care for someone other than myself. I was more responsible. I’d already burnt my candle at both ends, so I didn’t feel a need to live a very independent, selfish life. I was more financially stable.

Cons: Wanting a second kid gets complicated after 40, mostly for women. Always being the oldest parent in the kids’ friend groups can be a little weird.

Unsolicited advice from not a father here, because the question seems to be getting at what age is appropriate for kids. I think the golden rule here is get your own house in order before you start expanding it. What that means to everyone is different - some have that figured out at 25, some 40, some maybe never. But it would seem that the best thing to do for the kid is to have ones shite together from their first day.

First at 37 (now 5) Second at 41 (Now 1). It's a bit tougher from an energy perspective than when I was younger, especially with the insane level of intensity our older boy has to function at. But, it is much, much better, especially the second from a appreciation perspective. You understand life much better and learn to love and really appreciate the joy these years bring. I know I would have been too lost in other pursuits when younger.

On the first child thing, try not to over worry about all the crap you don't know what's going on. They are really resilient overall and they will sleep again, poop again, eat again, etc. ENJOY!!! There's nothing like it.

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Cons: Wanting a second kid gets complicated after 40, mostly for women. Always being the oldest parent in the kids’ friend groups can be a little weird.

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My youngest daughter told my wife during my second oldest daughter's wedding that it's not fair, My wife asked what's not fair. She said you and dad will be more gray and older when I get married, and that's not fair. She was 9 or 10.

Easier for you than the mom over 40... plenty folks around here are doing it, but be aware 40+ looks old as frick when you show up for tee ball practice with Braylynn, and the other dads are 30.

I was 46 when I had my daughter.

This…

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everything's a trade-off: I don't have the energy I did in my 20s and 30s but I'm a LOT more patient now than I was then

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…and this couldn’t be more true.

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The experiences of my child far outweigh anything else.

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Wouldn’t trade her for anything in the world.

34 for my first kid; 36 for 2nd. I definitely do not have the energy at 41 for another kid. I kind of view it as a time of life thing. I had tons of energy and enthusiasm for my kids to get thru the new born phase in my mid-30s. If someone has the enthusiasm of new parents, age be darned.

I am not the oldest dad in my kids’ friend group. We live in a pretty affluent area and I’m probably slightly older than average age for the men.

38 for the first, 46 for the second. It keeps you young.