re: Idiots find 1 million dollars on the road

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I’m at least taking a few days to weigh my options

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And by weigh my options, meaning i am
making sure the cartel didn't see me pick up the bag and that they dont know my whereabouts.

I’d like to say I’d keep it. Spend it wisely. Keep it hush.

Unless it’s tied to some local outfit, real narcos ain’t sweating 1M in cash. These the same guys who will drop 5M worth of product overboard if they even suspect they’re being tracked. They ain’t going to be dispatching someone over 1M. It’s a rounding error.

That said, you best believe if it’s a biker gang or some local bangers they coming look. But it would be a tough track and trace.

I’d run the risk and keep it for two years before spending it. See what happens.

But if more than my wife knows then I’m turning it in. People can’t keep their mouths shut.

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David and Emily Schantz left their Caroline County home with their children last Saturday and drove their pickup truck over what they thought was a bag of trash, then stopped and picked it up as well as another bag nearby, news sources reported Tuesday. The Schantzes tossed the bags in the back of their pickup truck and kept riding, according to Emily Schantz.

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Ok now, who in the frick does this? Picks up random bags of “garbage” and just throws them in their vehicle?

These bags would've found their way to my storage unit. Sorry, not sorry.

The smart would be to turn that in. How you gonna explain to the IRS you “found” $1M in cash?

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Anything under 10,000 dollars you could buy easy.

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Not correct.

Just because the Cash Reporting Form 8300 is set at $10k doesn’t mean private businesses can’t (and don’t) keep logs of cash transactions.

Most banks internally monitor cash transactions over $3k and have done so for a long time.

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And why the hell did they go to the sheriff with the 1.25 mil.

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Did you say $1.1 million?

Yes Captain, $950,000!

But I only found one bag.

every time one of these stories comes up, a few things have to be stated

first, $1M cash isn't the windfall you think it is. in the 70s to mid-80s? sure. but now? it would probably take more than a lifetime to spend, unless you knew people who wouldn't ask questions in, say, an obscure land transfer. you can spend that money on small trips to the grocery store or mall or Best Buy.

you don't know any money launderers and likely are a few social circles removed from anyone who does, so you're stuck

second, it's very likely that the people who own that money ARE in a social circle with a money launderer, so you have to worry about that until you can spend the money (or, for the rest of your life, basically)