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Posted on 5/20/20 at 11:35 am to Mud_Till_May
A friend of mine has worked for the county for years and years. He literally works at the dump, don't knock him....he may or may not be in management now. He said one day a small dumpster came rolling in and emptied. He was doing the "smoothing the pile out" deal I guess and saw something that looked odd. He hopped off the garbage dozer and went over to it. After he knocked off the used condoms and banana peels and such (that's how I envision it, not his words) he saw it was a roll of cash with a rubber band around it.
He said he stuck it in his coat pocket, parked his dozer and went to the shitter. It was 9 grand and some change in mostly large bills. When I asked what he did with it, he gave me a look that could only come from a man who had worked in a dump for a couple decades. He said that, "Whoever would do our founding fathers like that obviously ain't gonna miss it, and if they did....they're assholes anyway."
I couldn't argue. He literally washed the money, and set about spending it here and there. He never said a word to anyone, even his family, for years.
He said he stuck it in his coat pocket, parked his dozer and went to the shitter. It was 9 grand and some change in mostly large bills. When I asked what he did with it, he gave me a look that could only come from a man who had worked in a dump for a couple decades. He said that, "Whoever would do our founding fathers like that obviously ain't gonna miss it, and if they did....they're assholes anyway."
I couldn't argue. He literally washed the money, and set about spending it here and there. He never said a word to anyone, even his family, for years.
This post was edited on 5/20/20 at 11:49 am
Posted on 5/20/20 at 11:59 am to gumbo2176
quote:
If the finders don't suddenly go all bling and start buying up expensive stuff to draw attention to themselves, who's to know who found it, or if it was even found.
Posted on 5/20/20 at 12:48 pm to LegendInMyMind
Nobody gives a frick about 9 grand though haha
Posted on 5/20/20 at 12:58 pm to Mud_Till_May
I’m sure the cartel will be happy to pay them a “ nice reward “.
Posted on 5/20/20 at 1:06 pm to CptRusty
quote:
Afterwards, launder the cash through various casinos each month. Play some table games. You'll lose some, sure, but the point is to make sure no one can connect you with potentially marked bills.
Ozark isn't real life. What are you going to do, go play with a couple grand, lose a little bit of it and then go deposit it in the bank? You think that is any different than just depositing some of it from the get go in the bank? If the bank can identify the bills and catch you b/c you brought them there, then the casino most definitely will too. The casino seems like the dumbest of all places to go use it, as they would have no problem tracking down who gave them certain bills if anyone ever inquired about it to them.
Posted on 5/20/20 at 1:26 pm to TeddyPadillac
Jesus some of y'all are dumb and should 100% turn the money on. Casino to launder money?? Wtf?? This isn't 1965 where you can say you won it in Vegas.
But it's also easier than ever to launder with crypto currency. Cash for bitcoins is a legit thing.
Keep plenty liquid for day to day transactions like groceries. The rest gets laundered.
Or you can keep it all for day to day loving for 15-20 years.
But it's also easier than ever to launder with crypto currency. Cash for bitcoins is a legit thing.
Keep plenty liquid for day to day transactions like groceries. The rest gets laundered.
Or you can keep it all for day to day loving for 15-20 years.
Posted on 5/20/20 at 1:33 pm to lsu777
quote:
Or you can keep it all for day to day loving for 15-20 years.
Safest way.
Groceries, bar tabs, and restaurants. Slowly, but surely over 20 years.
ETA:
Also bringing 5k with you in cash on international vacations to spend in other countries would be a great way to get rid of it.
This post was edited on 5/20/20 at 1:37 pm
Posted on 5/20/20 at 1:36 pm to TheCaterpillar
Also, no one is thinking about this, but after you’ve hidden the main stash very well, you’d have to pull a few randomly selected bills out of the find, take them to a bank and say you found them on the side of the road or something and would like to deposit them if they’re real.
You don’t want to try and use fake bills all over town
You don’t want to try and use fake bills all over town
Posted on 5/20/20 at 1:50 pm to TeddyPadillac
quote:
Ozark isn't real life
?
quote:
hat are you going to do, go play with a couple grand, lose a little bit of it and then go deposit it in the bank?
No. Definitely don't deposit it.
quote:
If the bank can identify the bills and catch you b/c you brought them there, then the casino most definitely will too. The casino seems like the dumbest of all places to go use it, as they would have no problem tracking down who gave them certain bills if anyone ever inquired about it to them.
I think you're wrong. The point is to exchange the "found" bills for "clean" bills from the casinos, so you are never directly purchasing things with potentially marked dollars.
Go cash in for $5k at a high roller table on a Friday / Saturday night in a big casino. $4k is dirty money, $1k is clean money. Golden Nugget or L'auberge in Louisiana would be good targets because they have people dropping serious money all the time and this quantity wouldn't look unusual. You wouldn't want to do this at a casino where $5k would bring massive attention. Also you'd want to change up the location every time if possible. Only visit a single casino once every few months at most...the less frequent the better.
Play for a while, maybe win a little, maybe lose a little. Whatever. Aim to keep at least 80-90% of what you showed up with. Consider it a laundering fee. Even if you lose your $1k clean money, you turned it into $4k. Not bad for hanging out for a couple hours and drinking free.
The cash you brought to the casino gets mixed in with all of the other $100's from all of the other high rollers at the table you were playing. This then gets mixed with all of the other cash the casino brought in that weekend. Some of that cash stays in the casino for operations, and some gets brought to banks. If the bills have serial numbers flagged or are otherwise marked in a way that the banks will catch, it will be VERY difficult, if not impossible, to trace a specific bill back to a single player.
I don't know for sure, but I doubt that the casinos are recording the serial numbers of every bill that crosses their tables before it gets mixed together with the rest of the cash. This would be the only possible way they could catch you. To make it even more difficult, you would be mixing some "clean" money with the "found" money when you cash in so that it's not as easy as looking for 50 100's if the bank does eventually find the marked bills. They can go looking for someone who cashed in for $4k, but you brought $5k. So now they'd have to look for everyone who cashed in at least $4k over the entire weekend. Good fricking luck with that. And that's assuming they deposit all of your dirty money on Monday morning and the bank finds it.
ETA: I'll also amend my original plan a bit. The dirty cash will never come to my home. Instead, it gets put into safe deposit box(es) after being checked for gps or whatever tracking devices. The clean cash comes home after casino trips, and that gets put into my gun safe.
This post was edited on 5/20/20 at 2:08 pm
Posted on 5/20/20 at 2:04 pm to EA6B
quote:Agreed, so with that being said, what is the best route to take once the money is in your possession?
My concern if I had found the cash and kept it would be that the former owners of the cash were less than legitimate, would be looking for the money, and if found would probably prefer that me and my family not be able to ever tell anyone about the money.
Posted on 5/20/20 at 2:13 pm to CptRusty
Everything you said is true, but again what is the point as you can't launder that, even if you clean all of the bills. It's still not legit where you can just deposit it.
You would have to start a business that would mainly deal in cash to clean it or you have to launder it through Crypto currency. Bottom line is whatever you launder, must pay taxes to deposit in the bank and be clear later. Only way around that is using offshore accounts etc.
Even keeping it in crypto and transferring to any type of account that can issue a debit card like coinbase is going to get reported and you will have to pay taxes.
Laundering money isn't hard in a situation like this. You take 20k to live daily off of. You go buy a lawn mower and weed eater. You get a couple clients(again not hard to do) and you report high rates and double the clients. This is after you have cleaned the money through Crypto.
There are other ways but this is easiest without leaving the country.
Or if you have a decent job, you live off the cash and save your legit money. You form an LLC for something that would be cash and you deposit an extra thousand or so a week.
But if you feel like the money is marked or has been recorded in any way(already been explained how you can check) well than you do cash for bitcoins to clean the money.
You would have to start a business that would mainly deal in cash to clean it or you have to launder it through Crypto currency. Bottom line is whatever you launder, must pay taxes to deposit in the bank and be clear later. Only way around that is using offshore accounts etc.
Even keeping it in crypto and transferring to any type of account that can issue a debit card like coinbase is going to get reported and you will have to pay taxes.
Laundering money isn't hard in a situation like this. You take 20k to live daily off of. You go buy a lawn mower and weed eater. You get a couple clients(again not hard to do) and you report high rates and double the clients. This is after you have cleaned the money through Crypto.
There are other ways but this is easiest without leaving the country.
Or if you have a decent job, you live off the cash and save your legit money. You form an LLC for something that would be cash and you deposit an extra thousand or so a week.
But if you feel like the money is marked or has been recorded in any way(already been explained how you can check) well than you do cash for bitcoins to clean the money.
Posted on 5/20/20 at 2:20 pm to lsu777
quote:
Everything you said is true, but again what is the point as you can't launder that, even if you clean all of the bills. It's still not legit where you can just deposit it.
Correct. I don't have any need of depositing it, I'd just use it for every purchase that I can. I make a pretty good living anyway so I'd just invest my $ from work. The only bills I have that I couldn't convert to cash would be the mortgage and car note. Literally every other expenditure in my life I can use cash for if I had to.
The options you listed are viable if you need that money in a legit on-the-books account. I don't, but I do understand that's unique to my situation.
Posted on 5/20/20 at 2:25 pm to CptRusty
quote:Yea, that's along the lines of what I was thinking.
If it's me and the wife who find it, we check it for tracking devices - bill by bill - in a remote location
I have no idea how to check it for tracking devices, but that would be the logical way to go.
I get the sense of fear behind someone tracking you down, but it does seem like the only possible way this is happening is if the money itself is tracked.
I guess if I'm not too confident in knowing for sure if the bills are being tracked, the best route would be to take it straight to a bank and get a safety deposit box?
Not sure what else could be done, then just sit on it for as long as you wish, 2 years, 5 years whatever.
Posted on 5/20/20 at 2:31 pm to lsu777
quote:What page explains how you can check? I'm curious, i'm planning to randomly find $1mil myself so I need to prepare.
But if you feel like the money is marked or has been recorded in any way(already been explained how you can check) well than you do cash for bitcoins to clean the money.
Also, how do you get $1mil into BTC?
quote:Unless I could figure out the BTC angle, this may be the way to go. I spend, I don't know, about $2-3k a month on the credit card then pay it off at the end of each month. That spending could just become cash, then I'm saving $2-3k of my money each month. That would work for me, I'd be more than happy with that.
Or if you have a decent job, you live off the cash and save your legit money. You form an LLC for something that would be cash and you deposit an extra thousand or so a week.
Posted on 5/20/20 at 2:31 pm to CptRusty
quote:
The options you listed are viable if you need that money in a legit on-the-books account. I don't, but I do understand that's unique to my situation.
This is where I am. If I needed it hide it, I'm using cash for bitcoins and spreading it out and recording everything on an encrypted hard drive and have it hidden somewhere. I would use tails to log in and do it from public WiFi and tumble the coins multiple times.
But I am in the situation where I don't have to worry about that. Like you I have a great job and would just live off the money and save my legit money.
Btw if you are buying a house, that's an easy way to launder. Most contractors will take cash in a heart beat for the labor side of things.
My kids go-to a guy who does batting lessons for his full time job. He charges $90 per hour and does half hour sessions. He does over 60 half hour sessions per week feb-july. Usually 40+ the rest of the year. Only takes cash. You can do the math but I can guarantee he doesn't report but a max of 30% of that. He doesn't worry about that shite.
Known plenty of guys who did online personal training that only take certain types of transfers. They aren't freaking out because they don't go trying to buy homes and shite.
Posted on 5/20/20 at 2:34 pm to shel311
Yep.
There's basically 2 things you're worried about
1- Uncle Sam tracking the money because it was used for a DEA operation or something like that
2- The "owner" coming looking for it No Country For Old Men style
Problem 1 we discussed above.
Problem 2- Any kind of physical tracking device would need batteries, so it would be big enough to find. You'd just have to go through it physically to ensure there's nothing there.
Once that's done, safe deposit box is where I would put it. I suppose there's no real reason to do this if you're confident there's no way someone could physically track the money, but I'm paranoid so that's where it would go.
There's basically 2 things you're worried about
1- Uncle Sam tracking the money because it was used for a DEA operation or something like that
2- The "owner" coming looking for it No Country For Old Men style
Problem 1 we discussed above.
Problem 2- Any kind of physical tracking device would need batteries, so it would be big enough to find. You'd just have to go through it physically to ensure there's nothing there.
Once that's done, safe deposit box is where I would put it. I suppose there's no real reason to do this if you're confident there's no way someone could physically track the money, but I'm paranoid so that's where it would go.
Posted on 5/20/20 at 2:36 pm to shel311
quote:
What page explains how you can check? I'm curious, i'm planning to randomly find $1mil myself so I need to prepare.
Also, how do you get $1mil into BTC?
Hide the money after you check for a tracker, bill by bill, and you take a bill or two to the bank saying you found them in the ditch and you want to see if they are real, if they are, you would like to deposit.
If it's legit, you now can start to launder.
How to get 1mil into btc, well you need to do a shite ton of research on that. But essentially cash for bitcoins or Bitcoin atm wearing a mask. But still have to understand how to use tails to move it around, how to tumble, how to transfer and use after that.
Posted on 5/20/20 at 2:37 pm to lsu777
Yep makes sense.
I would imagine as long as you have some sense and don't try to live like a Hip Hop video then it'll be fine.
If you bring a Louis Vuitton bag full of $100's into the Lamborghini dealership, then things probably get a bit dicey.
I would imagine as long as you have some sense and don't try to live like a Hip Hop video then it'll be fine.
If you bring a Louis Vuitton bag full of $100's into the Lamborghini dealership, then things probably get a bit dicey.
Posted on 5/20/20 at 2:40 pm to CptRusty
quote:
I think you're wrong. The point is to exchange the "found" bills for "clean" bills from the casinos, so you are never directly purchasing things with potentially marked dollars.
What is the point of this? You think giving the bills to a casino where there are more cameras per sqft than any other buildings in the world, is less likely to be found than if you brought them to Rouses and other day to day places?
quote:
The cash you brought to the casino gets mixed in with all of the other $100's from all of the other high rollers at the table you were playing. This then gets mixed with all of the other cash the casino brought in that weekend. Some of that cash stays in the casino for operations, and some gets brought to banks. If the bills have serial numbers flagged or are otherwise marked in a way that the banks will catch, it will be VERY difficult, if not impossible, to trace a specific bill back to a single player.
That is hilarious. Have you been to a casino before? You do realize that when you put the money on the table, they literally take it and make sure the cameras can see every individual bill. These aren't potato cameras. They just saw you give specific bills that they can see the numbers on them.
If they are marked, you are more than likely going to get caught eventually no matter what in todays world with cameras everywhere. Even if you used it to go to Wal-Mart and Rouses and restaurants, they'll eventually pick up the pattern and find you, assuming someone cares that much about these bills to find you, which is something the gov't would have to do b/c no one else would spend the time and money to track you down that way.
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