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re: Whats the craziest "almost shite my pants" story you got?
Posted on 3/31/26 at 12:31 pm to crimsoncoded94
Posted on 3/31/26 at 12:31 pm to crimsoncoded94
Saturday at Endymion I was drinking Vodka and Cranberry all day... Made it home and woke up to go to Thoth.. Tried to take a dump in the morning but nothing.. At the parade I feel the rumbles.. Told the GF we had to go.. We had to drive to Mid City from Uptown.. in traffic. I was sweating the whole ride there. As we parked the car I was feet from her front door when the explosion happen in the pants.. It was definitely the biggest crap I had taken in the life and it had to be in my pants.. And there was still more to come...
There was another time at work. I was outside taking a break when out of nowhere I feel the rumbles. I had to make it up and escalator to this little bathroom and thank God it was unoccupied... I just got my pants down and splattered the wall behind the toilet.. I had to clean it up.. To this day I get bad feelings if I hadn't made it to the bathroom.. I would have had to walk through office areas with a full load of crap in my pants and everyone would have known... Let alone having to tell my boss I had to leave work because I shite my pants...
There was another time at work. I was outside taking a break when out of nowhere I feel the rumbles. I had to make it up and escalator to this little bathroom and thank God it was unoccupied... I just got my pants down and splattered the wall behind the toilet.. I had to clean it up.. To this day I get bad feelings if I hadn't made it to the bathroom.. I would have had to walk through office areas with a full load of crap in my pants and everyone would have known... Let alone having to tell my boss I had to leave work because I shite my pants...
0
Posted on 3/31/26 at 12:31 pm to crimsoncoded94
I told an employee to go home when he would not stop drinking Dr Tichner’s at work. Screamed at me, got up in my face screaming that “the doctor” told him to “swish his mouth out with it because of a bad tooth.” I was patient, told him we needed a Doctor’s note (had already told HR about him drinking that shite) and trying to get him to HR. I was ready for fists to come at me and I was prepared. He stormed out and was fired over the phone by HR. Left me shaken.
Posted on 3/31/26 at 12:42 pm to crimsoncoded94
Not my proudest moment.
Posted on 3/31/26 at 12:49 pm to crimsoncoded94
shite in a little alley out cove one night leaving The Keg in Lafayette. I was at least 4 cm dilatated and couldn't go anymore. I dropped trow and told a buddy to holler if someone was coming. Mid turd, someone start coming. Clinched, composed myself, buckled up, as they passed, I finished, took my pants off, wiped with my boxers and left them there and headed home.
Posted on 3/31/26 at 12:54 pm to Banned
Today your pic would be on fb bc of the camera.
Posted on 3/31/26 at 1:04 pm to crimsoncoded94
Friends and I were always making crazy bets over whatever we could think off. I lost a bet and had to drink a bottle of magnesium citrate. The next day was rough. I was shitting all day at work. The shits of a thousand fury's.
After shitting all day, I thought I was done. Driving home from work I felt my insides pushing out of me. I made the mistake of sneezing and shite all over my self. Had to finish the drive with pants full of shite.
After shitting all day, I thought I was done. Driving home from work I felt my insides pushing out of me. I made the mistake of sneezing and shite all over my self. Had to finish the drive with pants full of shite.
Posted on 3/31/26 at 1:06 pm to crimsoncoded94
Was coming off of Covid, went out after 12 days to get some lunch. 5 minutes after I ate it, I shite my pants. Liquid forceful explosion.
Guess it was the last of the virus and the medications I was taking the previous 12 days coming out all at once.
Guess it was the last of the virus and the medications I was taking the previous 12 days coming out all at once.
Posted on 3/31/26 at 1:22 pm to crimsoncoded94
Have a cousin I have duckhunted with most of my life. Never could resist chocolate milk and donuts for breakfast from the convenience store.
He must have a dozen or so socks in the marsh around Sabine. Many times we came back from hunting and he was barefooted in one leg of his waders.
He must have a dozen or so socks in the marsh around Sabine. Many times we came back from hunting and he was barefooted in one leg of his waders.
Posted on 3/31/26 at 1:54 pm to crimsoncoded94
Drinking at a hole in the wall bar in a strip center with only 2 single toilet bathrooms. I was on the brink of disaster and both bathroom doors were locked. My first thought was to walk to another business, but it was around midnight and the bar was the only place open. I found the back door unlocked which opened up to an alley behind the shopping center, with a dumpster just a few feet away. I went to the other side of the dumpster and did the deed, wiped my arse with my boxers and tossed them in the dumpster. Walked back inside like nothing happened. Not my finest moment but when you gotta go you gotta go.
Posted on 3/31/26 at 1:56 pm to crimsoncoded94
Last convoy of my Iraq deployment and took a direct hit from an IED in the pitch black night. Came damn close to a trouser change, unfortunately my machine gunner couldn't hold it in...
Posted on 3/31/26 at 2:03 pm to Tridentds
Another almost and I apologize to the good people of Oahu, (Pupukea hiking trail) December 2017, for crapping in the woods on the trail to the pill box. I did make like a cat and bury my $#@% and toilet paper. Should have never stopped at that roadside BarBQ food truck but I still remember it and it was damn tasty.
Thank goodness I had my backpack and a roll of toilet paper with me.
My teenage daughter was kind enough to take some pictures of me wiping crap off my leg and shorts after I came out of the woods.
[/url][/img]
Thank goodness I had my backpack and a roll of toilet paper with me.
My teenage daughter was kind enough to take some pictures of me wiping crap off my leg and shorts after I came out of the woods.
[/url][/img] This post was edited on 3/31/26 at 2:17 pm
Posted on 3/31/26 at 2:05 pm to TD422
quote:
Almost shite my pants story? I got nothing.
Actually shite my pants story? I'm your huckleberry.
You saved me the effort to try and respond to this. I've had a couple after I got to my 80's - nothing worth telling. But many close call before that.
Posted on 3/31/26 at 2:29 pm to AlumneyeJ93
LOL
Posted on 3/31/26 at 2:35 pm to AlumneyeJ93
Y’all are a bunch of disgusting mother frickers. 
Posted on 3/31/26 at 2:39 pm to crimsoncoded94
(no message)
This post was edited on 4/1/26 at 8:26 am
Posted on 3/31/26 at 2:43 pm to crimsoncoded94
Long walk for exercise in my neighborhood that, thankfully, was still mostly under construction, including fair share of unpaved areas.
Well, nature said “now”!
Just as I barely could get out of sight. One squat in grassy area later, and my pale complexion, cold sweats were replaced with proper blood flow and lightness that I made extra lap.
Also had close call in Bangalore, India. Never drank the water but did eat lukewarm warm something or other…before having to drive 20-miles away. If you know Bangalore is the worst traffic in the world, you know the cold sweats and pale complexion was back. That drive was almost 2 hours long.
Thankfully, early signs gave me the signal to hit the Pepto Bismal before the drive. The pink liquid saved that van from being christened by other liquid.
Well, nature said “now”!
Just as I barely could get out of sight. One squat in grassy area later, and my pale complexion, cold sweats were replaced with proper blood flow and lightness that I made extra lap.
Also had close call in Bangalore, India. Never drank the water but did eat lukewarm warm something or other…before having to drive 20-miles away. If you know Bangalore is the worst traffic in the world, you know the cold sweats and pale complexion was back. That drive was almost 2 hours long.
Thankfully, early signs gave me the signal to hit the Pepto Bismal before the drive. The pink liquid saved that van from being christened by other liquid.
This post was edited on 3/31/26 at 2:48 pm
Posted on 3/31/26 at 2:49 pm to crimsoncoded94
Almost shite my pants in the White House. Made it in time to the bathroom.
This post was edited on 3/31/26 at 2:50 pm
Posted on 3/31/26 at 2:53 pm to crimsoncoded94
Usually the ones when I actually shite my pants.
Posted on 3/31/26 at 3:03 pm to UptownJoeBrown
In Germany, in Rudesheim (where they had bottles of wine in coin fed dispensers) we were walking though a lovely neighborhood late to catch the last ferry back over the Rhein to where we were staying in Bingen.
There were NO facilities of any kind in that lovely neighborhood. There was a Lovely Mercedes parked near a privacy providing wall. I avoided a deposit that they would walked into on their way to the driver's door.
I hope it rained the next day.
There were NO facilities of any kind in that lovely neighborhood. There was a Lovely Mercedes parked near a privacy providing wall. I avoided a deposit that they would walked into on their way to the driver's door.
I hope it rained the next day.
Posted on 3/31/26 at 3:05 pm to TTU97NI
quote:
Pulled over in Midland at a construction site and could barely get my
pants down couldn't even sit.
Had a deposition in Midland on a Sat a.m. The plaintiff's lawyer called, asked to speak to me (he was coming down from Lubbock). Everyone is watching as I pick up the phone. He said he couldn't attend because he "had an accident". "Were you injured?" "Not that type of accident".
So, I figured it out and asked him "number 1 or number 2?" Of course, when I asked the question everyone in the room looked at me like I was a nut.
He then told me he got sick, rolled into a McDonald's, the stalls were full (to which I said "I'd have used the sink or urinal") so he cut loose in his pants.
A month or two later, had a mediation at a plush office building near Turtle Creek in Dallas. A young man attending took a giant spray diarrhea outburst in the men's bathroom. Muck was all over the sinks and stalls.
This post was edited on 3/31/26 at 3:12 pm
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