- My Forums
- Tiger Rant
- LSU Recruiting
- SEC Rant
- Saints Talk
- Pelicans Talk
- More Sports Board
- Fantasy Sports
- Golf Board
- Soccer Board
- O-T Lounge
- Tech Board
- Home/Garden Board
- Outdoor Board
- Health/Fitness Board
- Movie/TV Board
- Book Board
- Music Board
- Political Talk
- Money Talk
- Fark Board
- Gaming Board
- Travel Board
- Food/Drink Board
- Ticket Exchange
- TD Help Board
Customize My Forums- View All Forums
- Show Left Links
- Topic Sort Options
- Trending Topics
- Recent Topics
- Active Topics
Started By
Message
re: Whats the craziest "almost shite my pants" story you got?
Posted on 3/31/26 at 8:13 pm to crimsoncoded94
Posted on 3/31/26 at 8:13 pm to crimsoncoded94
Canadian buddy of mine is on bourbon street with another buddy in August about 20 years ago. Eating like crazy. Drinking like crazy. Shites himself on bourbon street. So drunk, he gives no cares.
Tries to clean himself up, rolls on through the day with shitty boxers.
Gets back to his room and his buddy has shacked up with a girl and they are both passed out.
By rhis time my Canadian buddy is sober enough to realize what he did so he takes his shite stained boxers and puts them right on top of the girls’ clothes.
She wakes up the next morning and thinks the guy she hooked up with shite himself before they hooked up.
To prove he didn’t, he put the boxers on to show they wouldn’t come close to fitting him.
Some great laughs from that story.
Tries to clean himself up, rolls on through the day with shitty boxers.
Gets back to his room and his buddy has shacked up with a girl and they are both passed out.
By rhis time my Canadian buddy is sober enough to realize what he did so he takes his shite stained boxers and puts them right on top of the girls’ clothes.
She wakes up the next morning and thinks the guy she hooked up with shite himself before they hooked up.
To prove he didn’t, he put the boxers on to show they wouldn’t come close to fitting him.
Some great laughs from that story.
0
Posted on 3/31/26 at 8:37 pm to Horsemeat
Us truckers have many close encounters and many failures. Greasy spoon truck stops coupled with trying to find a place that you can get a 65 ft rig in, are bad combinations.
Best story was during a winter storm on the West Virginia Turnpike. Traffic had been at a standstill for hours. Guy in a car in front of me, hops out and asks if his girlfriend could squat between my fuel tank and tandems to relieve herself. I wanting to encourage good relationships with the motoring public, said yes go ahead. Well I figured she needed to piss but no, she had the crappy pants. So i noticed the smell shortly after, and the Traffic didn't move for another 2 hrs. Fortunately I had a couple cans of Right Guard to help the situation.
Best story was during a winter storm on the West Virginia Turnpike. Traffic had been at a standstill for hours. Guy in a car in front of me, hops out and asks if his girlfriend could squat between my fuel tank and tandems to relieve herself. I wanting to encourage good relationships with the motoring public, said yes go ahead. Well I figured she needed to piss but no, she had the crappy pants. So i noticed the smell shortly after, and the Traffic didn't move for another 2 hrs. Fortunately I had a couple cans of Right Guard to help the situation.
Posted on 4/1/26 at 1:07 am to GroGan
Posted on 4/1/26 at 5:49 am to crimsoncoded94
No almost.
A couple years ago I am making my way back home from a sales call. About 4 miles away from the house and I get a slight gurgle. This isn’t anything out the ordinary. No reason to pull over…or so I thought.
What happened within the next 20 mins was unbelievable. Out of nowhere I gotta go. I catch one red light too many. I pull up in front my house and it’s coming out.
Proceed to shite and crab walk into my house and there was a slight reprieve. I get the front door open but I know that this pause is temporary. I’m ripping my jeans and boots off at the same time very unsuccessfully. shite starts flying all over.
I get to the toilet and again can’t make it in time. I violently projectile shite all over the seat and back.
My body breaks out into a cold sweat. This was the most intense bowel movement of my life. By the time I was able to compose myself I was cleaning up crap for 45 minutes.
A couple years ago I am making my way back home from a sales call. About 4 miles away from the house and I get a slight gurgle. This isn’t anything out the ordinary. No reason to pull over…or so I thought.
What happened within the next 20 mins was unbelievable. Out of nowhere I gotta go. I catch one red light too many. I pull up in front my house and it’s coming out.
Proceed to shite and crab walk into my house and there was a slight reprieve. I get the front door open but I know that this pause is temporary. I’m ripping my jeans and boots off at the same time very unsuccessfully. shite starts flying all over.
I get to the toilet and again can’t make it in time. I violently projectile shite all over the seat and back.
My body breaks out into a cold sweat. This was the most intense bowel movement of my life. By the time I was able to compose myself I was cleaning up crap for 45 minutes.
Posted on 4/1/26 at 7:30 am to crimsoncoded94
Copy/paste from a thread a year or so go….
First thing that comes to mind is a story a coworker told me back in the early 2000s. While he was a college student in the 80s there was a girl he had a crush on that he kept asking out on a date but she always had something else to do or just wouldn't go. Finally after many attempts she said yes. The day of the date comes and he has a stomach virus of some sort and feels terrible. He wants to cancel because of it but he's worried he won't get another chance. So he decides to tough it out. He picks her up and they go to a local bar/restaurant. He starts feeling pretty bad at the restaurant so tells her he needs to take her home because he's not feeling well. On the way home it hits him like a ton of bricks and he's about to shite himself. He is almost to her apt/house and he can't take it anymore and pulls over at an old gas station that is closed for the night. He hurries around the back of the gas station but doesn't make it. He shits his pants, down his socks and on his shoes. Luckily, there is a water hose on the back of the station and he uses it to clean up. The only thing salvageable of his wardrobe is his shirt (short sleeve polo type) and shoes. The only thing he can think to do is wear the shirt like shorts - legs through arm holes. So he puts the shirt and his shoes on and walks around the store and gets in the car. Doesn't say anything to the girl and just drives the girl home which luckily was a very short distance. When he drops her off again nothing is said and they never talk again. He was a good ole country boy that had you in stitches telling this story. Unfortunately, he left us too early in life.
First thing that comes to mind is a story a coworker told me back in the early 2000s. While he was a college student in the 80s there was a girl he had a crush on that he kept asking out on a date but she always had something else to do or just wouldn't go. Finally after many attempts she said yes. The day of the date comes and he has a stomach virus of some sort and feels terrible. He wants to cancel because of it but he's worried he won't get another chance. So he decides to tough it out. He picks her up and they go to a local bar/restaurant. He starts feeling pretty bad at the restaurant so tells her he needs to take her home because he's not feeling well. On the way home it hits him like a ton of bricks and he's about to shite himself. He is almost to her apt/house and he can't take it anymore and pulls over at an old gas station that is closed for the night. He hurries around the back of the gas station but doesn't make it. He shits his pants, down his socks and on his shoes. Luckily, there is a water hose on the back of the station and he uses it to clean up. The only thing salvageable of his wardrobe is his shirt (short sleeve polo type) and shoes. The only thing he can think to do is wear the shirt like shorts - legs through arm holes. So he puts the shirt and his shoes on and walks around the store and gets in the car. Doesn't say anything to the girl and just drives the girl home which luckily was a very short distance. When he drops her off again nothing is said and they never talk again. He was a good ole country boy that had you in stitches telling this story. Unfortunately, he left us too early in life.
Page 5 of 5
Popular
Back to top
Follow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News