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So if I wanted to start my own protestant church... I'd need, what, a building?

Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:30 am
Posted by Slippy
Across the rivah
Member since Aug 2005
7154 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:30 am
Driving down 190 the other day between BR and Opelousas I counted at least three "churches" in crappy metal buildings or strip malls. One looked like a lawnmower shed and had a sign that said something like "Word of Life Ministries" or similar.

Is this all I need? A space of some sort, a sign, and some chairs? Do I need some sort of credential to do this? A lot of these nondemominational places don't appear like they could afford a full time pastor. But if you can talk folks into putting money in the plate, the tax exemption is a pretty good deal.
Posted by Cosmo
glassman's guest house
Member since Oct 2003
125958 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:31 am to
A lot of them are scams

Can get gubment money to “help people” and buy cars and stuff with nonprofit status
Posted by cgrand
HAMMOND
Member since Oct 2009
43629 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:31 am to
if you have cult leader skills it can be very lucrative
Posted by Lsupimp
Ersatz Amerika-97.6% phony & fake
Member since Nov 2003
84097 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:33 am to
The Church of Slippy. Much potential.
Posted by Slippy
Across the rivah
Member since Aug 2005
7154 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:34 am to
quote:

if you have cult leader skills


I dunno, I can be pretty charismatic when I am selling Cutco knives. I could definitely do this.
Posted by Ingeniero
Baton Rouge
Member since Dec 2013
20330 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:35 am to
So you've got a low budget option, which is what you described, but the real money maker is the high dollar option. It's more upfront but you'll have hippie dippy girls and their skinny pant wearing husbands at your place every Sunday for "worship service." Get a white brick building with lots of windows, call it something like "The Healing King's Church" and complete it with a cafe and a zip line
Posted by Bonnie Blue
Nashville
Member since Apr 2011
203 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:35 am to
You're going to need a complete absence of morals to be a preacher before you need a building.
Posted by boosiebadazz
Member since Feb 2008
82845 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:36 am to
Just don’t frick any kids or secretaries and you’d be miles ahead of some of the more mainstream guys.
Posted by PurpleandGold Motown
Birmingham, Alabama
Member since Oct 2007
23129 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:37 am to
You need one of these out front.

Posted by LB84
Member since May 2016
4096 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:38 am to
quote:

Driving down 190 the other day between BR and Opelousas I counted at least three "churches" in crappy metal buildings or strip malls. One looked like a lawnmower shed and had a sign that said something like "Word of Life Ministries" or similar.

Is this all I need? A space of some sort, a sign, and some chairs? Do I need some sort of credential to do this? A lot of these nondemominational places don't appear like they could afford a full time pastor. But if you can talk folks into putting money in the plate, the tax exemption is a pretty good deal.


The British probably said the same thing about the colonies.

quote:

In 1790, when the newly founded United States (formerly the Thirteen Colonies) counted almost four million people in the first national census, there were fewer than 65,000 Catholics (about 1.6% of the population). John Carroll, first Catholic bishop assigned to the United States, in 1785 estimated the number of Catholics at 25,000; 15,800 in Maryland, 7,000 in Pennsylvania and 1,500 in New York. There were only 25 priests.


Protestants are the reason you get to enjoy this country.



Posted by SuperOcean
Member since Jun 2022
4585 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:43 am to
quote:

you have cult leader skills it can be very lucrative


" I've been involved in a number of cults, both as a follower and a leader..... You have more fun as a follower...., but you make more money as a leader"
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
130580 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:45 am to
The Last Baptist Church


Actually you may want to spend some time writing some literature and lore first.

Golden plates and Space Wizards are popular
This post was edited on 10/21/24 at 7:47 am
Posted by Loup
Ferriday
Member since Apr 2019
14429 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:46 am to
quote:

Protestants are the reason you get to enjoy this country.



The colonists had to get the French Catholics to win the revolution for them
Posted by SlowFlowPro
Simple Solutions to Complex Probs
Member since Jan 2004
452302 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:47 am to
Yesterday I was driving back from Sam's and saw the completion of this building that I could just tell was going to be a "former drug addict church", and it was confirmed yesterday.

You just need a building, a 501(c)(3), and a a captive audience.
This post was edited on 10/21/24 at 7:47 am
Posted by OysterPoBoy
City of St. George
Member since Jul 2013
40828 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:52 am to
quote:

Is this all I need?


Posted by Jake88
Member since Apr 2005
75353 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 7:54 am to
quote:


Protestants are the reason you get to enjoy this country
Yes, they were persecuting other protestants.
Posted by mcpotiger
Missouri
Member since Mar 2005
8229 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 8:00 am to
Close, but the name wouldn’t work. Would need to be something that does t mention something offensive. Like healing and Prayer and Jesus. Go with Something like. The Bridge, The Relevant Church, Ignite church, Elevate church, Destiny Church.. that will attract the ones who want a country club experience.
Posted by TheHarahanian
Actually not Harahan as of 6/2023
Member since May 2017
21695 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 8:01 am to

You need nice jeans and a sweater to lead services.
Posted by McLemore
Member since Dec 2003
33670 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 8:03 am to
I guess by implication all you’d need to start a Romanist pagan cult location is the blessing of a false teacher making the false claim that Christ somehow gave him successive authority over people. And some diddling.
Posted by Adam Banks
District 5
Member since Sep 2009
34757 posts
Posted on 10/21/24 at 8:05 am to
quote:

So if I wanted to start my own protestant church... I'd need, what, a building?




quote:

Driving down 190 the other day between BR and Opelousas I counted at least three "churches" in crappy metal buildings or strip malls. One looked like a lawnmower shed and had a sign




Given you designating them as “Protestant” I’m assuming you are Catholic.



I’m going to present a question for you-what do you think Jesus would want and where would he preach?

A church having a billion dollar art collection and painted ceilings? Or a shack and helping it’s members and people in the community in need?
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