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Started By
Message
re: 27 Ways to Be a Modern Man
Posted on 9/30/15 at 4:55 pm to LucasP
Posted on 9/30/15 at 4:55 pm to LucasP
quote:
What's wrong with being the little spoon? I kinda like it, it feels like I'm wearing a cape that I made out of someone's skin.
My wife's been doing this lately in the morning and gives my morning wood a few tugs to wake me up.
I have enjoyed it very much.
0
Posted on 9/30/15 at 4:59 pm to RedRifle
quote:
1. When the modern man buys shoes for his spouse, he doesn’t have to ask her sister for the size. And he knows which brands run big or small.
I know my girls waist and breast size from memory...frick her feet
quote:
6. Before the modern man heads off to bed, he makes sure his spouse’s phone and his kids’ electronic devices are charging for the night.
If my kid can not remember to charge his crap he should not have it in the first place...this sounds like bad parenting.
quote:
7. The modern man buys only regular colas, like Coke or Dr Pepper. If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door.
I am letting my kids drink this crap?
quote:
16. The modern man lies on the side of the bed closer to the door. If an intruder gets in, he will try to fight him off, so that his wife has a chance to get away.
Why would I get out gunned in my own house? Is the modern criminal not armed?
quote:
19. The modern man buys fresh flowers more to surprise his wife than to say he is sorry
You must be a woman.
quote:
21. The modern man doesn’t scold his daughter when she sneezes while eating an apple doughnut, even if the pieces fly everywhere.
How old is this daughter? Who scolds over a mess? Just clean it up. Does the modern man clean up a teen's mess too?
quote:
22. The modern man still ambles half-naked down his driveway each morning to scoop up a crisp newspaper.
Modern Man doesn't have a computer?
quote:
26. The modern man cries. He cries often.
Not acceptable. A man has a right to cry when something terrible like really terrible happens. Not a woman's once every two weeks you would not believe my day terrible.
This post was edited on 9/30/15 at 5:11 pm
Posted on 9/30/15 at 5:15 pm to Grit-Eating Shin
quote:
Seriously? Jeff Foxworthy made an entire career out of such a thing.
True
Posted on 9/30/15 at 5:36 pm to partywiththelombardi
His Twitter is gold. And by gold, i mean so beta it makes Caitlyn Jenner seem manly.
How to be a pretentious fruitcake
How to be a pretentious fruitcake
Posted on 9/30/15 at 5:55 pm to RedRifle
This is actually, legit cringe-worthy.
Posted on 9/30/15 at 6:10 pm to RedRifle
quote:
The modern man has hardwood flooring. His children can detect his mood from the stamp of his Kenneth Cole oxfords
Can the modern man not afford Church's wing tips?
Posted on 9/30/15 at 6:38 pm to RedRifle
quote:
If you walk into his house looking for a Mountain Dew, he’ll show you the door.
frick this guy
Posted on 9/30/15 at 6:54 pm to Marco Esquandolas
quote:
Can the modern man not afford Church's wing tips?
Posted on 9/30/15 at 8:03 pm to RedRifle
g
Posted on 9/30/15 at 8:11 pm to RedRifle
And yep, just like that I have cancer. I got cancer from reading that shitty article. Thanks a-hole
Posted on 9/30/15 at 8:16 pm to partywiththelombardi
quote:
frick her feet
the modern man is into this
Posted on 9/30/15 at 8:18 pm to RedRifle
The only way this "Modern Man" will have an offspring is if his feces can become fertilized by the semen in his anus and miraculously become the world's second* turd baby.
*Owlie
*Owlie
Posted on 9/30/15 at 8:44 pm to RedRifle
frick that shite.
Women don't want that beta shite either.
And #25 just
I keep a shotgun in my truck as a litmus test for women. If they freak out about it...bye bye. If they say nothing, I continue on as usual with them. If they ask to shoot it...
Women don't want that beta shite either.
And #25 just
I keep a shotgun in my truck as a litmus test for women. If they freak out about it...bye bye. If they say nothing, I continue on as usual with them. If they ask to shoot it...
Posted on 9/30/15 at 9:14 pm to RedRifle
Yet another article that feminizes the "modern man." The media and the powers that be continue to turn the American male into a giant estrogen filled pussy boy. The goal is for ~90% of us to be happy being told what to do our entire lives by first mothers, then bosses, then wives.
Let your balls swing low boys and don't live life acting a biatch.
Let your balls swing low boys and don't live life acting a biatch.
Posted on 9/30/15 at 9:18 pm to Pettifogger
quote:
Kenneth Cole FFS)
Lower middle class modern man evidently too
Posted on 9/30/15 at 10:04 pm to RedRifle
Posted on 9/30/15 at 10:11 pm to RedRifle
1. The Modern Man should be a pussy.
Just summing it up
Just summing it up
Posted on 10/1/15 at 12:42 am to Choctaw
quote:
the modern man doesn't know how to protect his family
One does not need a gun to protect ones family. You tell yourself that lie because deep down you are afraid.
Posted on 10/1/15 at 12:46 am to RedRifle
You should be banned for posting this bullshite.
Posted on 10/1/15 at 12:47 am to CaptainBrannigan
quote:
One does not need a gun to protect ones family.
You're a fricking idiot. 
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