No one picnics anymore. Have you noticed the quiet death of the picnic?

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What is causing so much change? It did not just occur but obviously relative to more people and less safe space. Why is the family picnic not as protected as the homeless vagrant?

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Before the internet, teens had the opportunity to learn about the world from personal experience. Most of what they learned about themselves, and how they understood their social and civic responsibilities, was developed through their participation in community life—working a part-time job, spending time in church, playing Little League, hanging out with friends, and dating. It was almost entirely based on personal experience. Unfortunately, these activities are less central to adolescence than they once were because we’ve tacitly accepted replacing them with online experiences. Teens now spend hours online, and so much of it is passive—endlessly scrolling through content produced by strangers rather than talking to their friends.

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One inevitable result of this has been rising discomfort with friction and prioritizing the avoidance of embarrassment. It’s not a coincidence that concepts like “the ick” and “cringe” were introduced into our lexicon by a generation with less appetite for social risk and tolerance for awkwardness. This is tragic. I share one anecdote in the book about dance clubs. Over the last few years, DJs have started noticing that dance floors are empty; almost everyone stands around the periphery holding their phones. It’s undeniable the impact that phones are having on young people’s willingness to take risks. Nobody dances anymore for fear that they will look stupid, and that their joyful gyrations will be documented and disseminated online. This anxiety about being surveilled is constant and unavoidable. It’s sort of like walking around in the Matrix where anyone you meet could potentially document and share an embarrassing moment, social misstep, or inartful comment. It’s made young people hypervigilant, less understanding, and less forgiving.

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At the beginning of the book, I discuss a study showing that we’re literally talking to each other less. We’re speaking on average 300 fewer words a day. Young adults spend less time out in the world with peers and friends and more time at home, where their connection to the outside world occurs through a smartphone. Social media algorithms are extremely efficient at social segregation. One study of TikTok users found that gender was the strongest predictor of what appears in your social media feed. Young men and women can be sitting in the same lunchroom and be immersed in entirely different realities. Algorithms efficiently deliver uncharitable characterizations of the opposite sex, and outrage entrepreneurs specialize in promoting this type of content. Podcasts such as Fresh & Fit are designed to stoke male aggrievement by presenting women as vain, shallow, and cruel. Researchers have found that social media can create “illusory norms,” the false idea that beliefs or behaviors presented on these shows or in their feeds are broadly representative. They aren’t.

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In Texas, there is maybe two times a year you can be outside for a picnic. Global warming is killing the picnic.

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