re: Girlfriend wants shared locations.

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girlfriend of 3 years wants us to share each others locations on iphone. I have resisted this so far because I think its unnecessary and a bit of a violation of privacy.

She thinks my train of thought is completely ridiculous. She claims she wants it for safety reasons, like if I were to get kidnapped or something. I think the main reason is to make sure im not lying about where I am.

I never lie about where I am and have no intentions of cheating. Maybe Im resisting just because im a stubborn mfer.

Am I an arsehole for not allowing this?

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If you are a man and you get kidnapped she needs to start rethinking her choices.

You can try but I don’t think half measures will work.

If she insists on something like this but you are being honest with her, it is going to be a LOT worse down the road.

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But, I am a grown arse man. I go where I want, when I want, and it’s no one’s business but mine where I am. I also have never not once violated my wife’s trust either.

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Yea- I generally shy away from creating unreasonable expectations of access unless there’s a real reason.

I can see you 24/7 on the off chance that you will be the .01% that are kidnapped (in which case the police can track you) doesn’t do it for me.

If there’s some material thing - where it’s helpful, sure thing.

If you give up location privileges now, you won’t have anything to give up down the road when you find yourself having been regretfully unfaithful because you live in a sexless marriage with a woman who has forgotten about and neglected your emotional and physical needs and then the marriage counselor offers that perhaps you allow shared locations and phone and social media access as a means to rebuild trust in your relationship. Save that card for when you need it.

Sounds like she's cheating on you.

quote:

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My girlfriend of 3 years wants us to share each others locations on iphone. I have resisted this so far because I think its unnecessary and a bit of a violation of privacy.

She thinks my train of thought is completely ridiculous. She claims she wants it for safety reasons, like if I were to get kidnapped or something. I think the main reason is to make sure im not lying about where I am.

I never lie about where I am and have no intentions of cheating. Maybe Im resisting just because im a stubborn mfer.

Am I an arsehole for not allowing this?

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If she doesn't trust you unconditionally after three years, why are you in a relationship with her?

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You can try but I don’t think half measures will work

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What part of "no" is a half measure?

Solid and life changing advice is coming your way.

Terrible idea. Here is your out:

I don't want to do that, because I would never be able to surprise you with any gifts. I'm at the flower shop, you will know. I am getting you a gift card to earthsavers, you will know. I'm at the jewelry store picking out an engagement ring, you will know. I'm at your parents asking your Dad if I can propose, you will know. I don't want to share our locations and ruin all the romance.

Not only do we have life 360 with my wife and kids, I use it as a tool to show my kids that their mother and I don't do secrets. My wife also has complete access to my phone and I hers. If you're not being shady about shite, this shouldn't be a problem. What are you worried about her seeing?