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re: Marriage over or salvageable?
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:38 pm to DeSantis_2024
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:38 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
marriage. I mean my wife gave me three healthy kids and actually has lost weight since before she got pregnant
She did this and stuck with you through career problems and comforted you throughout your parents health issues and you want to leave her without counseling or even talking to her because she won’t suddenly demand you bang her more than once a week despite never being that way in the first place?
1
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:38 pm to DeSantis_2024
Marriage is work, you coward
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:40 pm to DeSantis_2024
There are seasons of life- perhaps you are in one of the not so great ones.
As long as your spouse isn’t abusive, and your kids are in a healthy environment- divorce should be the absolute last option.
As many here have said- communication is key. With that said- might I suggest a podcast for the both of you….
Vanessa Marin. She and her husband also have some courses you can take- very professional, they have their act together.
As long as your spouse isn’t abusive, and your kids are in a healthy environment- divorce should be the absolute last option.
As many here have said- communication is key. With that said- might I suggest a podcast for the both of you….
Vanessa Marin. She and her husband also have some courses you can take- very professional, they have their act together.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:40 pm to Richard Grayson
It’s not just about sex, that’s just an easy example for a guy to talk about. Both of us were happier, more easy going, more in love with each other earlier in our marriage.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:42 pm to DeSantis_2024
The problem isn't that she's not having sex with you frequently, the problem is that she doesn't desire to have sex with you frequently. You need to figure out what the underlying problem is as it won't be satisfying sex even if she ramps up the quantity.
If it's something to do with her, just remember you can't control her. The only thing within your control is making yourself the best version you can be. That and deciding what you're ultimately willing to accept.
If it's something to do with her, just remember you can't control her. The only thing within your control is making yourself the best version you can be. That and deciding what you're ultimately willing to accept.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:43 pm to DeSantis_2024
Get a babysitter and get out of the house now and then. When the kids are grown up, it may be too late.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:43 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
Upper 30's
so you got married when you were in your "upper" 20s and both of you were virgins and you don't understand how 3 kids have put a crimp in your style...this is the trolliest troll i've seen on here in a while
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:43 pm to DeSantis_2024
Take this shite to the Failing Marriage Board.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:43 pm to Richard Grayson
quote:
Are you still in as good a shape?
I have the opposite issue.
I’m in the best shape I’ve been in since high school. I’m 90 lbs down from our wedding photos.
She is probably 60 lbs more.
I love her and find her sexy as hell. But she has absolutely zero self confidence. No matter how many times I show her and tell her how beautiful and sexy and desirable she is… she doesn’t believe it. So she never wants to be seen naked, wear lingerie, or really even fool around.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:45 pm to DeSantis_2024
Your reasons sound superficial and selfish. Remember your vows. Suck it up and make an effort to make it better. Maybe get off TD.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:46 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
Both of us were happier, more easy going, more in love with each other earlier in our marriage.
Youth is wasted on the youth
Ignorance is bliss
Of course you were happier before responsibility.
Take this saying to heart: you never stop growing. When you’re married you either grow together or you grow apart.
I know as a man especially in today’s society communication is seen as not manly as you alluded to earlier in this thread.
Take some time with just your wife without the kids around and lay all of this out for her. Drop your shield and your barriers and just be 100% emotionally honest and vulnerable with your wife. It will improve your relationship and your life.
Honesty, maturity, communication, and vulnerability are things you can really only truly share with extremely close friends. And your wife should be your closest and best friend.
Don’t fall for the trap our society has set with ruthless efficiency that men shouldn’t be vulnerable and wives should be ignored and pushed aside for brotime and whatever else.
She should be the most important person in your life. Anyone who says otherwise doesn’t understand marriage.
You stood in front of God and your family and friends and vowed on your honor and your life to care for and love this woman in sickness and health in good times and bad for richer or for poorer as long as you both shall live.
Be a man and fight for your wife.
This post was edited on 11/27/22 at 6:52 pm
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:48 pm to DeSantis_2024
You should both start making time to make time with each other.
You should have private time together every night.
A date night every week.
A trip every few months.
Talk to each other. Make each other laugh. Rediscover your interests.
You should have private time together every night.
A date night every week.
A trip every few months.
Talk to each other. Make each other laugh. Rediscover your interests.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:49 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
Sex has gone from 2-3 times/week when we first got married to maybe once a week now.
I’d kill for that right now, and we don’t even have kids.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 6:58 pm to DeSantis_2024
LINK /
It works. There is a whole community of people who have been where you are and maybe even further apart. Go to a weekend if you are both into trying to save it. What do you have to lose and there is a weekend in the New Orleans area in January. (But it is an international organization so you can find one near you!)
It works. There is a whole community of people who have been where you are and maybe even further apart. Go to a weekend if you are both into trying to save it. What do you have to lose and there is a weekend in the New Orleans area in January. (But it is an international organization so you can find one near you!)
Posted on 11/27/22 at 7:03 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
Sex has gone from 2-3 times/week when we first got married to maybe once a week now
Son, let me tell you about menopause
Buck up buttercup! You brought kids into this world. Everything you do should take them into consideration.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 7:03 pm to DeSantis_2024
10 years, young kids, and she still puts out weekly? Damn, man, go to a counselor and work on it. Marriage requires work. It doesn’t sound like you have any real disdain for her, just for your current situation which can be fixed.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 7:03 pm to DeSantis_2024
If you’re still having sex once a week even with 3 kids, you have a better marriage in that aspect than 90% of the OT. Including mine.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 7:05 pm to DeSantis_2024
If you are only worried about the financial consequences of getting divorced with 3 kids then get divorced. I have 3 kids under 5 and my wife is a financial retard that I would divorce instantly but only seeing my kids every other weekend is unacceptable. So I just deal with her stupidity and at least I get to spend every day with my kids. And phucking 3-4 times a week with 3 kids is tough. At this point when my wife buys me alcohol I know it’s on because the rest of the time we are just trying to get enough sleep to function without 1g of caffeine. You need to figure out what’s most important to you.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 7:06 pm to DeSantis_2024
quote:
It’s not just about sex, that’s just an easy example for a guy to talk about. Both of us were happier, more easy going, more in love with each other earlier in our marriage.
To love someone is more of a choice than a feeling at times. Choose to focus on her, do things for her, even if it isn't that original feeling at first. See what happens from there.
Posted on 11/27/22 at 7:07 pm to DeSantis_2024
Going out is great, but I think it’s more about what you do/don’t do under your own roof. Be an ally, work on your friendship with your wife, look for things that create resentment and do what you can to address them.
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