Fair warning, not an easy topic to discuss but one where I thought there could be some good discussion. A good friend of mine had a one night stand probably about 2 months ago. He said it was a good evening and she was into having sex with him so they did it. Sure enough, now she's saying she was drunk that night and that he sexually assaulted her. Sounds like she's just trying to get money. He's already lawyered up, but suffice to say he's terrified and losing his mind right now.

We all know the #MeToo movement had dramatic changes to dating and relationships. One of the primary areas that was addressed during #MeToo was the idea of "consent".

While it may have been a needed discussion, I never felt like what counted as "consent" was ever truly fleshed out. As a man, it's like changing the rules of the game at halftime but not telling either side what the new rules are. One of the big changes is especially the way that women have said "consent can be removed at any time". I don't disagree with that, I think both sides have the right to revoke consent at any time, but it creates some problems.

Now before people here start yelling "consent should be easy to spot", I would argue it actually isn't easy at all. Here are some scenarios:

- (My friend's scenario): Man and Woman want to hook up but both are drunk. By legal standards, neither can actually "consent" right? So if they have sex, did they both sexually assault each other? How would that even work legally?

- Man and Woman hook up. Halfway through sex the woman doesn't feel it anymore and revokes consent. It takes the man 3 - 4 seconds to get his "equipment" outside of her and get off of her. Did that man officially sexually assault her for those 3 - 4 seconds?

- Man and Woman hook up but woman regrets it the next day when she sees the man she had sex with isn't nearly as attractive as his was hanging out with her under dim lights. She decides it's a man should would have never had sex with normally. Could the woman consider that man to have sexually assaulted her?

These are just a few examples of how "consent" isn't as black and white as most people, especially women, think it is. So how do we, as a society, have a genuine discussion on what is and isn't consent?

I know there aren't many, but there are a few women on here. For those women in particular, I would love to hear what your thoughts are on the scenarios above and if you consider them sexual assault or not.

And how do we make consent better in the future? Are we going to get to the point where there needs to be documentation of the consent? I know after #MeToo there were some ideas of creating apps to allow consent, but it didn't really get anywhere. Plus I'm sure they wouldn't have been admissible in court.

Is it time that we revisit creating apps to consent to sex? And that consent should have to be renewed, say, every 30 minutes? And that, with certain security procedures in place, those apps would be able to be admissible in court?

Is this going to be another factor that causes men to just "check out" and go to the AI girlfriend route instead of having dates and relationships with actual women?

What does consent look like to you? What steps should both men and women take to protect themselves and ensure the other party is consenting? Do we need legal documentation to protect both sides?

This post was edited on 6/21/26 at 9:37 am