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re: Teenage son just came in to the room bawling about
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:25 pm to FLObserver
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:25 pm to FLObserver
needs to take matters into his own hands
0
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:25 pm to FLObserver
quote:
Teenage son
Be glad you don’t have a teenage daughter, because they cry about pretty much anything and everything.
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:26 pm to FLObserver
From a female/mom perspective (don’t call me a Walt alter, motherfrickers), let him know that, even though it feels like the end of the world now, he will have many more girlfriends in the future. Some will break his heart and he will break hearts too. It’s part of life and growing up. He should hang out with his friends and be with people who want to spend time with him. Somewhere out there right now is another girl who likes him, and he has no idea. Promise him that things will get better, and maybe tell him a story about a girlfriend of yours who broke your heart (or make one up) and how insignificant it seems now.
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:26 pm to FLObserver
It’s puppy love even though it feels like life and death to him. He’s also really too young to explain the truth of female nature to. It’s a difficult realization we have at that age that we can lose what we adore and we can’t possibly have the tools or experience to deal with it. It feels like a punch in the gut.
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:26 pm to ILurkThereforeIAm
quote:is a Walt alter
ILurkThereforeIAm
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:26 pm to fr33manator
quote:
Explain it to him like this.
The first time you get punched in the face, it rocks your world. Your brain gets foggy, you tear up, goddamnit, it HURTS! You've never felt something like this before. You think you might die.
You don't and you won't.
Next time, sure, it hurts, especially if you don't see it coming. But you know the pain will end and can deal with it. You are more prepared.
Eventually, you don't even flinch, spit the blood out and say "that's all you got"?
Heartbreak is a lot like that
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:27 pm to FLObserver
welcome to life? I don't cry over any woman.
This post was edited on 1/31/24 at 4:31 pm
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:27 pm to FLObserver
quote:
She gave him the ole maybe we just need some space.
Now he's worried if he gives her space she will find another. Told him there's nothing he could do but give her space and maybe it will work out. It kind of hurts my heart to see him hurt but told him no matter what happens that me and mom would always be here for him.
When someone, anyone, at any age says I need some space...its over.... move on emotionally and dont look back.That may sound a bit dramatic for teens but its a good lesson to learn early.
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:27 pm to FLObserver
There's many other fish in the sea. It's cliche. But nothing heals a broken heart quite like new pooty.
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:28 pm to FLObserver
Tell him, “The best way to get over a girl, is to get under another girl.”
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:29 pm to KirbySmartass
quote:you must’ve raised some wimpy girls
Be glad you don’t have a teenage daughter, because they cry about pretty much anything and everything.
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:29 pm to FLObserver
To anyone giving advice along the lines of “explain to him how little this matters and that it was never going to work” are fricking delusional. That’s just going to piss the kid off 
Be there for him and encourage him to go catch another fish. Any minimizing of what he’s feeling is just going to alienate him.
Be there for him and encourage him to go catch another fish. Any minimizing of what he’s feeling is just going to alienate him.
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:29 pm to FLObserver
When I was a senior in high school about two weeks before graduating, my first love broke up with me. Well, it was mutual but only because she had broken up with me twice before getting back together. She was my world and it was over when we were over. I was tired of trying to make it work and when she went to break up with me that third time, I didn’t fight it but it didn’t ease the pain at all. I was heartbroken and convinced I’d never find someone else who came close to her.
Fast forward four months and I had gone through a few other girlfriends before I met who is now my wife. I wouldn’t call it love at first sight because I don’t believe in that but I was instantly attracted to her and knew she was special from the moment I saw her. I approached her and the rest is history.
This could be the start of a beautiful thing for your son. He doesn’t know it now but it’s a net positive for him.
Fast forward four months and I had gone through a few other girlfriends before I met who is now my wife. I wouldn’t call it love at first sight because I don’t believe in that but I was instantly attracted to her and knew she was special from the moment I saw her. I approached her and the rest is history.
This could be the start of a beautiful thing for your son. He doesn’t know it now but it’s a net positive for him.
This post was edited on 1/31/24 at 4:34 pm
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:29 pm to FLObserver
Page 1 of "The Alabama Guide to Parenting" it says to treat your son like you would any other human.
I personally don't ascribe to the Gumpian way, ftr.
I personally don't ascribe to the Gumpian way, ftr.
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:30 pm to FLObserver
Won't be his last 
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:30 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
may have worked too well with my 23 year old son.
he's missed the best part of his sex life. congrats
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:30 pm to ThuperThumpin
quote:
When someone, anyone, at any age says I need some space...its over.... move on emotionally and dont look back.That may sound a bit dramatic for teens but its a good lesson to learn early.
Yup, the only hard step is the first one.
Take the L,
Out of Lover,
And it's Over.
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:31 pm to secfballfan
Use the opportunity to inform him of property taxes, insurance rates going up, inflation, the state of the union, drone strikes, the trump trials, crime statistics, and people who don't throw away the empty donut box. His vagina problems will fade away instantly.
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:32 pm to FLObserver
Been there...though I didnt bawl about it. Girl started "going out with my friend after we broke up. Was a gut punch but every stupid little thing is at that age. Send him an Andrew Tate video and call it a day
Posted on 1/31/24 at 4:33 pm to FLObserver
quote:
Now he's worried if he gives her space she will find another. Told him there's nothing he could do but give her space and maybe it will work out. It kind of hurts my heart to see him hurt but told him no matter what happens that me and mom would always be here for him. Guess he'll be wondering around the house now like a lost puppy. Any other advice i could give him from the love guru's on the OT? Well thinking about it this might not be the best place
real talk, non OTL answer.
my oldest had been with the same girl since 5th grade and last year (their sophomore year) she broke it off out of the blue. she had been kind of a punk towards the end, and just finally cut it off. just a clean cut. no break, let's talk, etc. they're in a small private school with about 30 in their grade so she's pretty unavoidable. but they're just now talking to each other about a year later.
to the son, he'll grieve, complain, rationalize, be angry, talk bad about her, etc. let him do those things within reason. tell him to fill his life with other things. my son immediately just started hanging out with his friends and other girls in a platonic way. go to the gym, immerse himself in whatever sports he does, get into some movies.
he's happier now than he ever was with her and has way more freedom. i don't monitor it daily, but i do check in on his phone and he's talking to girls all the time and while not being a player, he's playing the field.
TL;DR
don't bash the girl. give him time to grieve the loss, but get him out with other dudes or doing something in the short term. he'll eventually realize he's only upset about losing her because she was his first, but she's not going to be his best or last.
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