Armymann50

Tanks!!

:GMT:
Today in History: July 11

1302 An army of French knights, led by the Count of Artois, is routed by Flemish pikemen.

1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg is elected Holy Roman Emperor in Germany.

1533 Henry VIII is excommunicated from the Catholic Church by Pope Clement VII.

1708 The French are defeated at Oudenarde, Malplaquet, in the Netherlands by the Duke of Marlborough and Eugene of Savoy.

1786 Morocco agrees to stop attacking American ships in the Mediterranean for a payment of $10,000.

1799An Anglo-Turkish armada bombards Napoleon Bonaparte's troops in Alexandria to no avail.

1804 Alexander Hamilton is mortally wounded by Aaron Burr in a duel.

1862 President Abraham Lincoln appoints General Henry Halleck as general-in-chief of the Federal army.

1942 In the RAF's longest bombing raid of World War II, 44 British Lancaster bombers attack the Polish port of Danzig.

1972 American forces break the 95-day siege at An Loc in Vietnam.

1975 Archaeologists unearth an army of 8,000 life-size clay figures created more than 2,000 years ago for the Emperor Qin Shi Huang.

1995 Full diplomatic relations are established between the United States and Vietnam.

2021 Rare mass anti-government protests across Cuba due to economic hardships and effects of COVID-19 led to widespread arrests

Born on July 11

1274 Robert the Bruce, King of Scotland (1306-1329).

1767 John Quincy Adams, Sixth President of the United States (1825-1829).

1838 John Wanamaker, U.S. merchant, founder of one of the first American department stores.

1899 E.B. White, author (Charlotte's Web).

1927 Theodore H. Maiman, physicist.

JOTD

Tom was not home at his usual hour and his wife was fuming.

Finally around 3am she heard a noise at the front door and, as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.

“Do you realise what time it is?!?” she stammered.

He answered, "Don't get excited, I'm late because I bought something for the house.”

Immediately her attitude changed, and running down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked “What did you buy for the house, dear?"

Tom answered “A round of drinks!"

:GMT:
Today in History: July 11

1302 An army of French knights, led by the Count of Artois, is routed by Flemish pikemen.

1346 Charles IV of Luxembourg is elected Holy Roman Emperor in Germany.

1533 Henry VIII is excommunicated from the Catholic Church by Pope Clement VII.

1708 The French are defeated at Oudenarde, Malplaquet, in the Netherlands by the Duke of Marlborough and Eugene of Savoy.

1786 Morocco agrees to stop attacking American ships in the Mediterranean for a payment of $10,000.

1799An Anglo-Turkish armada bombards Napoleon Bonaparte's troops in Alexandria to no avail.

1804 Alexander Hamilton is mortally wounded by Aaron Burr in a duel.

1862 President Abraham Lincoln appoints General Henry Halleck as general-in-chief of the Federal army.

1942 In the RAF's longest bombing raid of World War II, 44 British Lancaster bombers attack the Polish port of Danzig.

1972 American forces break the 95-day siege at An Loc in Vietnam.

1975 Archaeologists unearth an army of 8,000 life-size clay figures created more than 2,000 years ago for the Emperor Qin Shi Huang.

1995 Full diplomatic relations are established between the United States and Vietnam.

2021 Rare mass anti-government protests across Cuba due to economic hardships and effects of COVID-19 led to widespread arrests

Born on July 11

1274 Robert the Bruce, King of Scotland (1306-1329).

1767 John Quincy Adams, Sixth President of the United States (1825-1829).

1838 John Wanamaker, U.S. merchant, founder of one of the first American department stores.

1899 E.B. White, author (Charlotte's Web).

1927 Theodore H. Maiman, physicist.

JOTD

Tom was not home at his usual hour and his wife was fuming.

Finally around 3am she heard a noise at the front door and, as she stood at the top of the stairs, there was her husband, drunk as a skunk, trying to navigate the stairs.

“Do you realise what time it is?!?” she stammered.

He answered, "Don't get excited, I'm late because I bought something for the house.”

Immediately her attitude changed, and running down the stairs to meet him halfway, she asked “What did you buy for the house, dear?"

Tom answered “A round of drinks!"

quote:

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Say $5,000 or more.

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:lol:

:GMT:
Today in History: May 24
1543 Nicolaus Copernicus publishes proof of a sun-centered solar system. He dies just after publication.

1689 The English Parliament passes the Act of Toleration, protecting Protestants. Roman Catholics are specifically excluded from exemption.

1764 Boston lawyer James Otis denounces "taxation without representation," calling for the colonies to unite in opposition to Britain's new tax measures.

1844 Samuel Morse taps out the first telegraph message.

1861 General Benjamin Butler declares slaves to be the contraband of war.

1863 Bushwackers led by Captain William Marchbanks attack a Federal militia party in Nevada, Missouri.

1941 The British battleship Hood is sunk by the German battleship Bismarck. There are only three survivors.

1961 Civil rights activists are arrested in Jackson, Mississippi.

2018 Record US fentanyl seizure of 120lbs (54kg) confirmed by police in Nebraska in April, enough to kill 26 million people, one of largest drug busts in US history

2018 US President Donald Trump posthumously pardons boxer Jack Johnson for racially orientated criminal conviction - transporting a white woman across state lines

2020 The New York Times prints front page with nearly 1,000 names of people who have died from COVID-19, as the US toll nears 100,000

Born on May 24
1743 Jean-Paul Marat, French revolutionary.

1941 Bob Dylan (Robert Zimmerman), singer and songwriter.

JOTD
A man escapes from a prison where he's been locked up for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns. Inside, he finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair.

While tying the homeowner's wife to the bed, the convict gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband whispers over to his wife: "Listen, this guy is an escaped convict. Look at his clothes! He's probably spent a lot of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants sex, don't resist, don't complain... do whatever he tells you.
Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is obviously very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us both. Be strong, honey. I love you!"
His wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me that he's gay, thinks you're cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you, too!"

quote:

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I remember when this board hated Mofitt and blamed him teams being soft

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DON'T BE BRINGING reality to this board.

:GMT:
Today in History: May 21

0996 Sixteen year old Otto III is crowned the Roman Emperor.

1506 Christopher Columbus dies.

1790 Paris is divided into 48 zones.

1940 British forces attack German General Erwin Rommel's 7th Panzer Division at Arras, slowing his blitzkrieg of France.

1951 The U.S. Eighth Army counterattacks to drive the Communist Chinese and North Koreans out of South Korea.

1961 Governor John Patterson declares martial law in Montgomery, Alabama.

1970 The U.S. National Guard mobilizes to quell disturbances at Ohio State University.

1999 All My Children star Susan Lucci finally wins a Daytime Emmy after being nominated 19 times, the longest period of unsuccessful nominations in television history

2018 Former US president Barack Obama and Michelle Obama sign deal with Netflix to produce films and series

2019 Washington is the first US state to legalize human composting

2023 Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky makes a surprise appearance at G7 summit in Hiroshima, Japan, with world leaders also making a statement to condemn Chinese acts of "economic coercion"

Born on May 21

0427 Plato, Greek philosopher.

1917 Raymond Burr, actor (Perry Mason).

JOTD

A guy with bad gas goes to the doctor

He says “doc, you gotta help me. I can’t stop farting. It’s the weirdest thing, they don’t smell, and there’s no sound, but they won’t stop. I’ve farted 5 times while telling you this and see, you didn’t even notice”
The doc writes him a prescription and says “take this and come back in a week.
A week later the guy comes back and says “Doc, those pills didn’t stop the farts. All they did was make them smell terrible. I can hardly stand it”
The doctor replied “Good. Now that your sinuses are cleared up let’s work on your hearing”

Do we need to get the OT to investigate or just go hunting?

quote:

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we had 4 mares, 1 bull and 2 calves stolen

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Great win Tigers


This makes me happy
:lsu:

:GMT:
Today in History: May 19
1536 Anne Boleyn, Henry VIII's second wife, is beheaded on Tower Green.

1568 Defeated by the Protestants, Mary, Queen of Scots, flees to England where Queen Elizabeth imprisons her.

1588 The Spanish Armada sets sail from Lisbon, Portugal.

1780 Near total darkness descends on New England at noon. No explanation is found.

1964 U.S. diplomats find at least 40 microphones planted in the American embassy in Moscow.

1967 U.S. planes bomb Hanoi for the first time.

1995 Emmy 22nd Daytime Award presentation - Susan Lucci loses for 15th time

2018 American actress Meghan Markle marries Prince Harry at a ceremony in Windsor Castle, making her a member of the British royal family

2019 US billionaire Robert F. Smith announces he will pay off college loans of nearly 400 students of the graduating class of Morehouse College, Atlanta

2021 New York City begins re-opening after 423 days (March 2020) with the COVID-19 death toll at 33,000

2021 The EU agrees to open its borders to vaccinated travelers from safe countries

2022 Mercedes confirms the sale of world's most expensive car - a 1955 Mercedes-Benz SLR coupe for €135 million ($142 million)

2161 Syzygy: Eight of nine planets are forecast to align on the same side of the Sun

Born on May 19
1890 Ho Chi Minh (Nguyen That Thanh), Vietnamese nationalist and political leader.

1895 Johns Hopkins, merchant and philanthropist.

1925 Malcolm X (Malcolm Little), African-American activist.

JOTD
A United States Marine was deployed to Afghanistan.

A United States Marine was deployed to Afghanistan.
While he was there he received a "Dear John" letter from his girlfriend.
In the letter she explained that she had slept with two guys while he had been gone and she wanted to break up with him. To add injury to the insult, she said she wanted back the picture of herself that she had given him.
So the Marine did what any squared-away Marine would do. He went around to his buddies and collected all the unwanted photos of women he could find. In all, he got more than 25 pictures of various women (some with clothes and some without).
He then mailed them to his now-former girlfriend with the following note: "I don't remember which one you are. Please remove your picture and send the rest back."


GMT

:GMT:
Today in History: May 15

1213 King John submits to the Pope, offering to make England and Ireland papal fiefs. Pope Innocent III lifts the interdict of 1208.

1252 Pope Innocent IV issues the papal bull ad exstirpanda, which authorizes, but also limits, the torture of heretics in the Medieval Inquisition

1702 The War of Spanish Succession begins.

1864 At the Battle of New Market, Virginia Military Institute cadets repel a Union attack.

1886 Emily Dickinson dies in Amherst, Mass., where she had lived in seclusion for the previous 24 years.

1930 Ellen Church becomes the first airline stewardess.

1942 The United States begins rationing gasoline.

1972 Gov. George Wallace is shot by Arthur Bremer in Laurel, Maryland.

1988 Soviets forces begin their withdrawal from Afghanistan.

2019 Mexico City declares an environmental emergency after air pollution reaches dangerous levels

2020 Germany, Europe's largest economy, officially in recession due to COVID-19, as figures show economy shrank 2.2% 1st 3 months of 2020

2023 Martha Stewart is Sports Illustrated oldest-ever cover model at 81, appearing as part of its swimsuit issue

Born on May 15
1856 Lyman Frank Baum, author (The Wonderful Wizard of Oz).

1902 Richard Daley, mayor of Chicago through the 1960s and early 1970's.

1926 Peter Shaffer, English playwright (Equus, Amadeus), twin brother of Anthony Shaffer.

Joke of the Day
A guy is golfing by himself and shanks a ball hard.

He yells, "Goddamn it all to hell!"
St. Peter hears him and asks God, "Aren't you going to do anything about that?"
God says, "Yep."
Next hole is a long par five over water ending in a dog leg. The guy tees up and crushes the ball. It hits the water but just as it does, a turtle surfaces. The ball bounces off the turtle's shell and gets another hundred yards. Just as its about to stop rolling, a squirrel runs over and grabs the ball before being immediately snatched by a gorgeous red tail hawk. The hawk flies him off and just over the green the squirrel drops the ball. The ball hits the green, rolls and falls in the hole.
Most amazing par five hole-in-one in history.
St. Peter, astonished says, "You call that punishment?"
God replies, "Yep. There was nobody around to see it."