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re: Spinoff: Dumbest Thing You've Heard a Coach Say
Posted on 1/12/17 at 10:46 am to baseballmind1212
Posted on 1/12/17 at 10:46 am to baseballmind1212
I played Barbe a few times. They were a very good team. They had a lefty that threw a sick slider.
0
Posted on 1/12/17 at 10:47 am to LucasP
goldennugget was your clarinet instructor?
Posted on 1/12/17 at 10:47 am to No Colors
Played tennis in high school, tennis "coach" was just some assistant football coach who got stuck with tennis because someone had to do it, good ole boy who wore a hat that had the letters CT on the front and "show the toe" on the back.
Anyhow, guy has been the tennis coach for a few years. Girl tennis players will put extra tennis balls in the waistband of their skirt when they are serving in case they fault. Coach calls over a teammate one day, "Cameron, what's wrong those girl's hips?"
Teammate just walks away shaking his head. Don't know if coach ever solved the mystery
Anyhow, guy has been the tennis coach for a few years. Girl tennis players will put extra tennis balls in the waistband of their skirt when they are serving in case they fault. Coach calls over a teammate one day, "Cameron, what's wrong those girl's hips?"
Teammate just walks away shaking his head. Don't know if coach ever solved the mystery
Posted on 1/12/17 at 10:48 am to No Colors
We had a black coach who was a riot
"That's a Got Dam titty block. Quit blocking witcha titties"
"That's a Got Dam titty block. Quit blocking witcha titties"
Posted on 1/12/17 at 10:48 am to No Colors
When I was 12, I played on two baseball teams. One for the high school's 7th/8th grade team, and one in a rec league.
The coach of my high school team taught me how to bunt, and not look like a dumbass doing it.
Before that, I had always swung my right foot (I'm RH) all the way around and completely squared up to the pitcher, because that's how I'd been taught in little league by volunteer rec league coaches, who don't know shite. My high school coach saw me do that, and showed me how all I needed to do was square my shoulders, not my entire body.
When I used this new technique in my rec league practice, my rec league coach immediately "corrected" me to do it the retarded way. Because, and I quote, "You won't be fooling any pitchers in this league, son."
The coach of my high school team taught me how to bunt, and not look like a dumbass doing it.
Before that, I had always swung my right foot (I'm RH) all the way around and completely squared up to the pitcher, because that's how I'd been taught in little league by volunteer rec league coaches, who don't know shite. My high school coach saw me do that, and showed me how all I needed to do was square my shoulders, not my entire body.
When I used this new technique in my rec league practice, my rec league coach immediately "corrected" me to do it the retarded way. Because, and I quote, "You won't be fooling any pitchers in this league, son."
This post was edited on 1/12/17 at 10:49 am
Posted on 1/12/17 at 10:50 am to UGATiger26
My coach loved saying "colder than a well diggers a-hole"
Posted on 1/12/17 at 10:58 am to SaturdayTraditions
quote:
Your coach wasn't wrong...
PS- put a few Blue Moons in the fridge before your next hitch... I'm getting tired of that Busch Light crap you keep buying.
liar.
no way in hell you actually keep coming back for my wife, so it's got to be the beer you're after.
Posted on 1/12/17 at 11:03 am to Nutriaitch
quote:
liar. no way in hell you actually keep coming back for my wife, so it's got to be the beer you're after.
Posted on 1/12/17 at 11:14 am to baseballmind1212
quote:
baseballmind1212
What year did you graduate? And where from?
Posted on 1/12/17 at 11:23 am to No Colors
"Man my grandma can run faster than that and she ain't got no legs"
Posted on 1/12/17 at 11:56 am to SabiDojo
quote:
women can play the same sports men play. That's a fact.
Alert the press
Posted on 1/12/17 at 12:01 pm to No Colors
My head coach was also my homeroom teacher. Well, a popular kid killed himself for some reason, I think it was drugs or getting expelled or something, honestly I forget. Well of course everyone is crying, and they are doing the rounds with the therapists/counselors.
The coach gets up there and gives the normal sad look, and then decides to bellow out "That child took the easy way out, he couldn't hack life so he dumped all of his problems on his friends, family, and this administration." Everyone just explodes in tears at this point. He then cuts off the therapist and keeps railing on how suicide is a cowards way out and everything. It was, quite possibly, the most brutally honest thing I have ever witnessed, but just insanely stupid to say at that current moment.
The coach gets up there and gives the normal sad look, and then decides to bellow out "That child took the easy way out, he couldn't hack life so he dumped all of his problems on his friends, family, and this administration." Everyone just explodes in tears at this point. He then cuts off the therapist and keeps railing on how suicide is a cowards way out and everything. It was, quite possibly, the most brutally honest thing I have ever witnessed, but just insanely stupid to say at that current moment.
Posted on 1/12/17 at 12:02 pm to No Colors
Take til you get a strike
If they are pitching me first pitch fastball, I'm swinging at that thing!
If they are pitching me first pitch fastball, I'm swinging at that thing!
Posted on 1/12/17 at 12:14 pm to No Colors
Junior high coach who taught freshman biology. He hocked a loogie on the overhead projector to show us what an amoeba looks like.
Posted on 1/12/17 at 12:46 pm to No Colors
"I show up to practice each day with an open mind, your effort determines the conditioning at the end"
you knew before practice even began if you were going to be running a shite ton at the end. turns out this dude was an eternal pessimist....so we got really good at running horses.
you knew before practice even began if you were going to be running a shite ton at the end. turns out this dude was an eternal pessimist....so we got really good at running horses.
Posted on 1/12/17 at 12:59 pm to No Colors
Posted on 1/12/17 at 1:02 pm to dnm3305
High School basketball coach calls a timeout and takes a knee in front of the guys in chairs.
He meant to ask if anyone needed to come out of the game because they were tired.
What he said was "Who needs a blow."
5 hands go up.
He meant to ask if anyone needed to come out of the game because they were tired.
What he said was "Who needs a blow."
5 hands go up.
Posted on 1/12/17 at 1:33 pm to dnm3305
Posted on 1/12/17 at 1:35 pm to No Colors
Need y'all to give 110%
Posted on 1/12/17 at 1:49 pm to No Colors
Two different ones:
Coach A (at a practice): 'I have a shrunken head in my car that will look good with a ring on it'
Coach B (teaching a high school theology class - he was fired at the end of the year): 'St. Peter (the apostle of Jesus) lived in 1000 AD until he was killed in Germany in 1050.'
Coach A (at a practice): 'I have a shrunken head in my car that will look good with a ring on it'
Coach B (teaching a high school theology class - he was fired at the end of the year): 'St. Peter (the apostle of Jesus) lived in 1000 AD until he was killed in Germany in 1050.'
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