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Posted on 1/12/17 at 5:56 pm to No Colors
I guess this belongs more in the dumbest than smartest thing a coach has said.
However
In middle school a new group of coaches took over at the high school and came over to introduce themselves etc. The talk ended with the new defensive coordinator saying "in this life you men will have one of two things. Mice nuts... Or BIG OLE WAGGIN BALLS! Which is it gonna be??"
WAGGINBALLS became our celebratory yell/huddle break
However
In middle school a new group of coaches took over at the high school and came over to introduce themselves etc. The talk ended with the new defensive coordinator saying "in this life you men will have one of two things. Mice nuts... Or BIG OLE WAGGIN BALLS! Which is it gonna be??"
WAGGINBALLS became our celebratory yell/huddle break
Posted on 1/12/17 at 6:17 pm to Goats and Joes
"Ya might be glad ya did."
"I'm gonna sit on my bucket and y'all gonna run till I get tired."
"Guys, tonight's my anniversary and I'm gonna go home and bust that thing wide open, so you might hear some fire trucks tonight."
"Put on your helmets, them Afghans Is coming"
ETA: On a 4th & 12... "We're gonna run the belly men, they won't be expecting it!"
"I'm gonna sit on my bucket and y'all gonna run till I get tired."
"Guys, tonight's my anniversary and I'm gonna go home and bust that thing wide open, so you might hear some fire trucks tonight."
"Put on your helmets, them Afghans Is coming"
ETA: On a 4th & 12... "We're gonna run the belly men, they won't be expecting it!"
This post was edited on 1/12/17 at 6:47 pm
Posted on 1/12/17 at 7:04 pm to peaster68
I'm about 5' 8" and was pretty fast for a short white guy.
Played corner mostly.
One game we're in man coverage, and I'm lined up across from this brotha who was at least 6' 2".
Dude just straight up burned me. Like was still leaving me after he caught the ball.
I get to the sideline and an assistant coach comes up to me and serious as can be asks "man, is that guy really as fast as he looks?"
Played corner mostly.
One game we're in man coverage, and I'm lined up across from this brotha who was at least 6' 2".
Dude just straight up burned me. Like was still leaving me after he caught the ball.
I get to the sideline and an assistant coach comes up to me and serious as can be asks "man, is that guy really as fast as he looks?"
Posted on 1/12/17 at 7:09 pm to No Colors
Our defensive backs coach in HS used to say if we tripped " don't fall to your feet ".
We used to laugh about it and he was a hard arse coach but we loved that guy to death. He was a real man and a true example for all to follow.
RIP Coach Madonna
We used to laugh about it and he was a hard arse coach but we loved that guy to death. He was a real man and a true example for all to follow.
RIP Coach Madonna
Posted on 1/12/17 at 7:25 pm to No Colors
"Damn Chedballz you have deceptive speed...... you're actually slower than you look".
Posted on 1/12/17 at 7:35 pm to No Colors
"line up alphabetically by height"
I was the shortest in the class, and my last name starts with B. I walked to the front of the line, nodded at Coach Pontiff and turn and looked at the class like they were stupid.
I was the shortest in the class, and my last name starts with B. I walked to the front of the line, nodded at Coach Pontiff and turn and looked at the class like they were stupid.
Posted on 1/12/17 at 7:58 pm to the crue
Thought of another shitty thing that happened.
When we were in 7th grade, we had a volunteer basketball coach for the 7th grade team. He was the youth pastor at the local Pentecostal church and he thought he was Coach K.
We were terrible. He was a terrible coach. That combination led to some embarrassing arse beatings, as the younger teams played local teams only (instead of playing other smaller schools, we played the closer teams, some of which were 3-4 classes bigger than us).
One day after a particularly brutal game the night before, we're running suicides. A kid says "coach I got to go to the bathroom." He says no. A few minutes later, he asks again, and coach says no. He asks a third time and the coach proceeds to be an extra a-hole and makes him run extra suicides - had to be 20 minutes after he had first asked.
When he is finally let go, he makes a B line for the locker room and doesn't make it. Shits all over the place. The varsity team is coming out of another locker room and something gets on a guys shoe and he proceeds to beat the hell out of him while he is shining on himself. and the varsity coach has to pull him off.
The volunteer coach was let go and we finished the year with another coach. The kid was ridiculed for years. Had a cute girlfriend that dumped him over it. Went from playing every sport to not doing anything and becoming a bit of a recluse. There was a suicide scare our 9th grade year. I admittedly made fun of him after the incident, but looking back, it was one of the worst things I did in school.
He hasn't made a reunion, or been in contact with anyone in our class. I actually added him on Facebook. I messaged him an apology for all of that and that as an adult you have a different perspective on things. He read it, then deleted me.
When we were in 7th grade, we had a volunteer basketball coach for the 7th grade team. He was the youth pastor at the local Pentecostal church and he thought he was Coach K.
We were terrible. He was a terrible coach. That combination led to some embarrassing arse beatings, as the younger teams played local teams only (instead of playing other smaller schools, we played the closer teams, some of which were 3-4 classes bigger than us).
One day after a particularly brutal game the night before, we're running suicides. A kid says "coach I got to go to the bathroom." He says no. A few minutes later, he asks again, and coach says no. He asks a third time and the coach proceeds to be an extra a-hole and makes him run extra suicides - had to be 20 minutes after he had first asked.
When he is finally let go, he makes a B line for the locker room and doesn't make it. Shits all over the place. The varsity team is coming out of another locker room and something gets on a guys shoe and he proceeds to beat the hell out of him while he is shining on himself. and the varsity coach has to pull him off.
The volunteer coach was let go and we finished the year with another coach. The kid was ridiculed for years. Had a cute girlfriend that dumped him over it. Went from playing every sport to not doing anything and becoming a bit of a recluse. There was a suicide scare our 9th grade year. I admittedly made fun of him after the incident, but looking back, it was one of the worst things I did in school.
He hasn't made a reunion, or been in contact with anyone in our class. I actually added him on Facebook. I messaged him an apology for all of that and that as an adult you have a different perspective on things. He read it, then deleted me.
This post was edited on 1/12/17 at 8:09 pm
Posted on 1/12/17 at 8:02 pm to No Colors
"Knock him into the nickel seats"
What???
What???
Posted on 1/12/17 at 8:05 pm to Freezus22
quote:
Later on in the year, our SS made an error that would have gotten us out of a crucial inning and he took a fungo and destroyed a locker in our dugout. I could see him from CF and I had to just turn around for a second because I was laughing too hard. Not like he could see me while in CF, but just in case.
How was your SS in the dugout if you were still in centerfield??
Posted on 1/12/17 at 8:09 pm to Mr. Hangover
quote:
How was your SS in the dugout if you were still in centerfield??
I understood it as the coach destroyed the locker.
Posted on 1/12/17 at 8:13 pm to anc
Ahhh I see - I read it wrong
Posted on 1/12/17 at 8:13 pm to No Colors
Coach: "Liberty Hill trapping is as common as a barefoot goose."
Players: "Uhh, what coach?"
Coach: "What, you ever seen a goose wear shoes?"
Players: "Uhh, what coach?"
Coach: "What, you ever seen a goose wear shoes?"
Posted on 1/12/17 at 8:15 pm to No Colors
Had one who after you screwed up he would say "I couldn't coach you any stupider." Always made me laugh cause to me he was either saying he was a shitty coach or a good one who coached stupidity and I sucked at learning it.
Posted on 1/12/17 at 8:21 pm to anc
Our HS football coach in south FL walks in the locker room before the game and says: "I was so excited about this game, I pooted in my pants". He then turns around, pulls down his pants, bends over, and shows the entire locker room his 3 foot wide azz covered in poo.
Posted on 1/12/17 at 8:46 pm to 777Tiger
After a baseball game we get on the bus. We lost and coach starts reaming us about using 34" bats cause none of us could handle them. The funny part was the team bats he had ordered were all 34s.
Posted on 1/12/17 at 8:53 pm to Nawlens Gator
We had a former player from our high school who was an all state defensive lineman in the 80s who was in his late 40s - he was the typical village idiot who everyone loved but he was passionate about football - we had our typical Thursday walkthrough then went to the locker room where our coach would typically lay everything out on the line and try to get us ready for the game the following day.. well Newman was in our district, and we were a school that had about a 50/50 split between whites and blacks on the team.. the village idiot's speech to us conveyed one message - THEY SCARED - we got cornrows, we got dreadlocks, we got tattoos - THEY SCARED. THEM WHITE BOYS DONT WANT NONE!!!!
Might not sound too funny typed out, but when you take into consideration that this was our time to be serious, get focused and mentally prepared but we couldn't cause everyone was trying to hold back laughter
We beat them by ten.. suck it greenie weenies
Might not sound too funny typed out, but when you take into consideration that this was our time to be serious, get focused and mentally prepared but we couldn't cause everyone was trying to hold back laughter
We beat them by ten.. suck it greenie weenies
Posted on 1/12/17 at 8:54 pm to No Colors
Umm did we go to the same middle school? You from east tx?
Posted on 1/12/17 at 8:56 pm to No Colors
I was in 7th grade playing basketball and we shared the gym with the 8th graders during practice. Well the 8th graders got a new coach that year that I don't think had ever picked up a basketball in his life, he had no clue what he was doing. He even said so on their first day of practice. He said, "guys, I've never played basketball in my life, but I've been reading a few books and I think I've got a good idea how to coach this team."
They won maybe two games all year.
They won maybe two games all year.
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:18 pm to Geecubed
2011, CHS BR
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