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Message
Spinoff: Dumbest Thing You've Heard a Coach Say
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:32 am
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:32 am
I had a coach in middle school who was classic.
"Pair up in threes"
"You guys are running around here like a bunch of cantaloupes"
During the prayer: "Gob bless the meek and the inflicted"
ETA: His last name was Duke. So, naturally, he wore all kinds of stuff with the Duke name and logo on it.
Coach Duke, if you're out there, I got nothing but love for ya, brother!
"Pair up in threes"
"You guys are running around here like a bunch of cantaloupes"
During the prayer: "Gob bless the meek and the inflicted"
ETA: His last name was Duke. So, naturally, he wore all kinds of stuff with the Duke name and logo on it.
Coach Duke, if you're out there, I got nothing but love for ya, brother!
This post was edited on 1/12/17 at 11:58 am
59
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:34 am to No Colors
I've got some funny ones about my drama instructor and my clarinet tutor, would those count as coaches?
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:34 am to No Colors
When I was in 6th grade our coach tried to hype us up before a rivalry game by saying the opposing team called us "a bunch of pussies". We were pretty amped up before the game but looking back now I find his comments insensitive, sexist, demeaning, and offensive. Not only were his comments derogatory towards women, but they were derogatory towards trans persyns.
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:35 am to No Colors
quote:remember this is an LSU website. That being said, 20 pages
Dumbest Thing You've Heard a Coach Say
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:35 am to LucasP
Spinoff: What's the dumbest thing you've heard your clarinet tutor say?
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:35 am to No Colors
In high school basketball we were about to play the best team in the state and were about 2-16 at the time. Our coach told us not to leave the locker room if we didn't think we could win then walked out. We kinda laughed and looked at each other then went and played.
Lost 36-90.
Lost 36-90.
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:37 am to No Colors
Stiff dew
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:37 am to OysterPoBoy
"do you secretly control the media and world banks? Cause you play clarinet like a Jew!!"
Looking back on it, he might have been an anti-Semite.....
Looking back on it, he might have been an anti-Semite.....
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:37 am to No Colors
High School coach yelling at a bunch of JV guys fricking off on the sidelines.
"Yall are like a bunch of damn seagulls; Yall just flap around, make a bunch of noise, and don't do shite!"
"Yall are like a bunch of damn seagulls; Yall just flap around, make a bunch of noise, and don't do shite!"
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:38 am to No Colors
"Clock it!" with 1 second on the clock
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:40 am to No Colors
You can come by my house Saturday evening, no one will ever find out.
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:41 am to No Colors
HS Player: "Coach, I can run a 4.2" Coach: "Cliff, you couldn't run a 4.2 butt naked standing on a motorcycle".
Coach saying on a regular basis: "Do you know 99.9% of pregnant women who ever lived were not virgins. Mother Mary is that .1%".
He would say it to people when it didn't apply.
Coach: "Look at you two. We score with no chance to win the game and yall are on the sideline with yall helmets on jumping up and down hugging each other like a bunch of f@gs. Did yall frick each other in the locker room after".
This was all from the same coach. I only heard him say the Mother mary thing, but friends who played football would always say the other things I mentioned..
Coach saying on a regular basis: "Do you know 99.9% of pregnant women who ever lived were not virgins. Mother Mary is that .1%".
He would say it to people when it didn't apply.
Coach: "Look at you two. We score with no chance to win the game and yall are on the sideline with yall helmets on jumping up and down hugging each other like a bunch of f@gs. Did yall frick each other in the locker room after".
This was all from the same coach. I only heard him say the Mother mary thing, but friends who played football would always say the other things I mentioned..
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:41 am to No Colors
/thread
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:42 am to SabiDojo
quote:
When I was in 6th grade our coach tried to hype us up before a rivalry game by saying the opposing team called us "a bunch of pussies". We were pretty amped up before the game but looking back now I find his comments insensitive, sexist, demeaning, and offensive. Not only were his comments derogatory towards women, but they were derogatory towards trans persyns.
I truly feel zirs pain here. It's obvious zie was deeply traumatized by this event.
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:44 am to No Colors
Man, coaches say the dumbest shite.
One thing that I really hate, that almost every coach seems to do is confusing excuses with reasons.
Example:
Coach - "Why did you audible out of the screen pass?"
Player - "I saw the safety creeping up on that side"
Coach - "DON'T GIVE ME EXCUSES!"
Example 2:
Coach - "Why didn't you turn 2 for a double play?"
Player - "I was off balance and didn't want to make an errant throw"
Coach - "DON'T GIVE ME THOSE PANSY arse EXCUSES!"
One thing that I really hate, that almost every coach seems to do is confusing excuses with reasons.
Example:
Coach - "Why did you audible out of the screen pass?"
Player - "I saw the safety creeping up on that side"
Coach - "DON'T GIVE ME EXCUSES!"
Example 2:
Coach - "Why didn't you turn 2 for a double play?"
Player - "I was off balance and didn't want to make an errant throw"
Coach - "DON'T GIVE ME THOSE PANSY arse EXCUSES!"
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:44 am to Choupique19
quote:
"Spectacular group of men. You go find them, you throw your arms around them and you give them a big kiss on the mouth… if you're a girl."
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:44 am to No Colors
We were laying out on the high jump pit after spring work outs. Coach came up and said "Put your shirts back on this ain't no beach." It became a saying in our school.
This post was edited on 1/12/17 at 9:48 am
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:46 am to No Colors
I don't recall any specifics, but our team was an I formation team that won our Area. The week before the first playoff game, he decided to install the wishbone and triple option. 
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:47 am to Vino24
In the early 90s, we are playing Gordo (Ala.) High School. They had some great teams during this stretch and dressed like the Green Bay Packers. Green, Gold, same helmets everything. This is an era before every HS had Nike or UnderArmour, and we are piecing together uniforms. We had some players that had stripes on their jerseys and some that didn't. Had to wear what fit. We had no decals on our helmets because they cost money. They had a strong booster club and looked like they walked off the showroom floor.
They would routinely beat our arse. But my junior year, we had a sophomore QB that ended up playing at North Alabama on a D2 national championship team. Pretty decent for small town Alabama football. We were shredding them apart on offense. Defense still couldn't stop them though.
Halftime, we're up a couple points, and coach comes in trying to pump us up. He's cussing up a storm and he picks up a chair and throws it, hitting our QB in his throwing hand, severely jams it and causing him not to be able to throw efficiently in the second half. We have to run the ball, we can't and end up losing by 3 touchdowns.
They would routinely beat our arse. But my junior year, we had a sophomore QB that ended up playing at North Alabama on a D2 national championship team. Pretty decent for small town Alabama football. We were shredding them apart on offense. Defense still couldn't stop them though.
Halftime, we're up a couple points, and coach comes in trying to pump us up. He's cussing up a storm and he picks up a chair and throws it, hitting our QB in his throwing hand, severely jams it and causing him not to be able to throw efficiently in the second half. We have to run the ball, we can't and end up losing by 3 touchdowns.
This post was edited on 1/12/17 at 10:03 am
Posted on 1/12/17 at 9:47 am to anc
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