Nearly 1 in 3 married Americans report they’re not having sex

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Physical intimacy isn’t a regular occurrence for every married couple in America, research suggests.

Recent data from the General Social Survey, conducted by NORC at the University of Chicago, shows that 32.5% of married adult respondents said they have not had sex "at all" during the last 12 months. Just 4.1% reported that they have sex more than three times a week.

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Decline in intimacy can be caused by a variety of factors, from juggling busy families to hormone imbalances, she noted. In most cases, however, the original relationship spark has faded.

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For one week, Elton recommended focusing on the positive aspects of the relationship, making mental notes and sharing them with your partner. This exercise can "shift the whole relationship," she said.

"You need to find time, you need to be intentional, because unfortunately, we always find time to be on our phones, to play little games, to scroll on social media, but we don't find time to be with our partners."

Choosing one night as a "tech-free" night can be a great way to re-connect with your partner, Elton recommended.

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"If we don't have fun, what's the point?" Elton asked. "We need to bring fun back into the relationship."

The sexologist recommended another exercise — A-to-Z date nights, where couples choose an activity that starts with a different letter of the alphabet for each date.

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"When couples have been together for a long time, I ask them, ‘So, how do you flirt with your partner? How do you let them know about your erotic intentions?’ And they say, ‘Oh, we don’t flirt.’"

A lack of self-desire as people age can also get in the way of accepting advances for intimacy from partners.

"With women, [with] changing bodies and aging and stress, sometimes we don't feel our best and we may think, ‘I don't know why my partner wants me. I don't want myself,’" Elton said.

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