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re: My five year old won’t stop sneak attacking me by hitting me in the marbles

Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:48 pm to
Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
65916 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:48 pm to
Hire a local Nanny.

None of that “Mary Poppins” shite.

Local. Think-

Posted by TigerstuckinMS
Member since Nov 2005
33687 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:48 pm to
quote:

Though that’s an OT favorite joke, I actually taught him. The father in law started that process but I finished it and got him to do it on his own. Sorry to burst everyone’s bubble.

I bet you can open the jar after your father in law loosens it up first, too.
Posted by TDsngumbo
Alpha Silverfox
Member since Oct 2011
41728 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:49 pm to
My father in law had a stroke. He can’t open a zip lock bag.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
124575 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:49 pm to
frick his mom to show dominance
Posted by t00f
Not where you think I am
Member since Jul 2016
90537 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:49 pm to
Take his IPad away until the assaults stop.
Posted by AUsteriskPride
Albuquerque, NM
Member since Feb 2011
18385 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:52 pm to
Put his arse in time out for a long period of time with no toys.
Posted by DirtyMikeandtheBoys
Member since May 2011
19429 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:52 pm to
What you’re looking for is a bruise, not a break. You’re welcome
Posted by OldmanBeasley
Charlotte
Member since Jun 2014
9722 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:53 pm to
Make him sleep outside tonight, it’s time for him to growth the frick up
Posted by ABearsFanNMS
Formerly of tLandmass now in Texas
Member since Oct 2014
17506 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:54 pm to
Do it to him and see if he thinks it is funny
Posted by blueboxer1119
Baton Rouge
Member since May 2013
8041 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:54 pm to
I also have a 5 yr old that does the exact same thing. Straight nut shots.

Since school is out he has started watching wrestling on youtube. Old stuff.

Now when I hear, "Goldberg! Goldberg!" I know to protect my balls cause he's coming in.
Posted by Billy Conforto
Member since Jan 2020
8 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:55 pm to
Don’t feed him for a few days. It’s the perfect time as he can’t go to school and eat you out. Not like a week or something cruel. Just like 4 days or something. Every time he says he’s hungry, just let him know why he’s hungry.
Posted by Mr Clean
New Iberia
Member since Aug 2006
49509 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:56 pm to
You were supposed to weigh in on the Patterson curfew thread
Posted by DirtyMikeandtheBoys
Member since May 2011
19429 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:56 pm to
quote:

Now when I hear, "Goldberg! Goldberg!" I know to protect my balls


Incorrect response, better response you need to stone cold stun his lil arse
Posted by GRTiger
On a roof eating alligator pie
Member since Dec 2008
63225 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:57 pm to
Too young to spank at 5? Your mistake happened years ago. He's running shite now. One of you will have to leave the house.
Posted by dcrews
Houston, TX
Member since Feb 2011
30223 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:57 pm to
Well he's very clearly the alpha of your house. Why don't you ask him what he'd do?
Posted by MileHigh_Tiger
The penalty box
Member since Mar 2020
179 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:59 pm to
Punch him in his nuts? Assert dominance, that's your goddamn house
Posted by Cregg
Orange Beach
Member since Jul 2017
2025 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 8:59 pm to
Take away his tablet and smart phone
Posted by LSUJML
BR
Member since May 2008
46334 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 9:00 pm to
Posted by Cracker
in a box
Member since Nov 2009
17763 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 9:01 pm to
Throat punch the lil fricker
Posted by tgrbaitn08
Member since Dec 2007
146214 posts
Posted on 3/31/20 at 9:03 pm to
Not surprised. You come across as a horrible husband and father.
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