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re: Is it trashy to live with your SO before marriage?
Posted on 2/21/16 at 7:46 pm to northshorebamaman
Posted on 2/21/16 at 7:46 pm to northshorebamaman
quote:
The question was about moving in before marriage, not without marriage.
Pretty important distinction, too. Assuming a willingness to approach this question rationally.
0
Posted on 2/21/16 at 7:47 pm to threeputt
quote:
By its very nature, cohabitation encourages a lack of commitment and independence, and is an easy out for the partner that wants to pack a suitcase and leave.
This seems completely backwards to me. I would think that it's easier to leave someone when you have your own home to go back to rather than leaving with a suitcase in the middle of the night to stay with friends or family.
Posted on 2/21/16 at 7:49 pm to threeputt
quote:
With marriage you make a pledge. Everyone knows you're married; it's a public declaration. In marriage, you're more likely to make sacrifices for your mate and to strive to make the relationship work. Additionally, divorce is costly, both emotionally and financially. By its very nature, cohabitation encourages a lack of commitment and independence, and is an easy out for the partner that wants to pack a suitcase and leave. It's just not the right thing to do IMHO
Again, you're approaching this from the angle of living together without marriage instead of before marriage. What we're talking about is a matter of doing things in a particular order.
Posted on 2/21/16 at 7:50 pm to Pectus
No. Seems like it be the smart thing to see if you can live in the same place before you marry.
Posted on 2/21/16 at 7:56 pm to ILikeLSUToo
I don't see a distinction at all .. Either you're married or not and you are either living together or not.. Pretty black and white to me 
And to answer the other question .. No, I did not have sex with my wife before we were married ... But I think that is a totally different issue ... And my opinions on the topic may surprise you ..
In fact we don't have much sex after marriage either
And to answer the other question .. No, I did not have sex with my wife before we were married ... But I think that is a totally different issue ... And my opinions on the topic may surprise you ..
In fact we don't have much sex after marriage either
Posted on 2/21/16 at 7:58 pm to threeputt
quote:
Either you're married or not and you are either living together or not.. Pretty black and white to me
And you either intend to get married or not.
Posted on 2/21/16 at 8:00 pm to LNCHBOX
quote:
And I see you're still a aiding answering the question about sex before marriage.
That would be tricky for him to answer because the only compelling arguments against moving in before marriage are religious and most of those religions also hold a dim view on premarital sex.
Posted on 2/21/16 at 8:01 pm to threeputt
quote:
In fact we don't have much sex after marriage either
I hear you.
Posted on 2/21/16 at 8:02 pm to Pectus
Why in the frick would you commit to a lifetime with someone before ever living under the same roof as them?
Posted on 2/21/16 at 8:03 pm to threeputt
quote:
And to answer the other question .. No, I did not have sex with my wife before we were married ... But I think that is a totally different issue ... And my opinions on the topic may surprise you ..
In fact we don't have much sex after marriage either
Sounds like you married someone that you don't share a passionate connection with. Sucks for you.
Posted on 2/21/16 at 8:05 pm to Pectus
quote:
Is it trashy to live with your SO before marriage? by Pectus
You'd be a god damned fool not to.
Posted on 2/21/16 at 8:05 pm to Pectus
Yes
Posted on 2/21/16 at 8:06 pm to ILikeLSUToo
quote:
And you either intend to get married or not.
Hopefully your boss will give you that big raise now based on the fact that you intend to complete that big project soon
Posted on 2/21/16 at 8:06 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
In my experience, the trashy ones get knocked up before moving in together even enters their minds. The educated/non-trashy folks seem to co-habitate.
We lived together for two years before we were married. I took a new job about two hours away from home and she came with me. We were already married when our son was conceived though.
Eta: You wouldn't buy a car without test driving it.
This post was edited on 2/21/16 at 8:08 pm
Posted on 2/21/16 at 8:13 pm to threeputt
quote:
Hopefully your boss will give you that big raise now based on the fact that you intend to complete that big project soon
He might, if he trusted me as much as my wife and I trust each other. But keeping in line with the illogical comparison, he sure as hell didn't assign me that big project my first day on the job.
Posted on 2/21/16 at 8:14 pm to Pectus
Its not trashy but I wouldn't do it.
Posted on 2/21/16 at 8:17 pm to ILikeLSUToo
And I'm not saying you should get married after one date
Posted on 2/21/16 at 8:18 pm to Pectus
No
Posted on 2/21/16 at 8:18 pm to threeputt
quote:
But cohabitation to me is a classless act and shows a weak man .. Why not be a man and just wait until you get married
Your definition of what it is to be a man makes zero sense.
Posted on 2/21/16 at 8:21 pm to GeorgeTheGreek
quote:
Your definition of what it is to be a man makes zero sense.
Yeah, it's pretty dumb.
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