Well, I am writing this mostly to just express myself and "tell somebody". But, you might have a similar thing happen to you. If so, I would like to know I am not alone.

{EDIT: The comments are really helpful. Some of you have great advice. Thank you. Even the brutal ones are helpful. Keep them coming. It is helping me realize I am better off and I need to get myself back}

Short version:
My really hot fiance left me for good because she found out I used surveillance to discover that she is a slut. While many of you might have "hotwife" fantasies, she was a "hotwife" behind my back with numerous people and that isn't ok.

The less-short version:
We are in our late 40's. We were very much in love. I knew she was very sexually active in her single life. She grew up with low self-esteem and she self-medicated with bad relationships. She told me she wanted to settle down and I was the only one for her- that she finally found someone to spend the rest of her life with who had great character, took care of her, and didn't treat her like she is merely a piece of meat. She is a catch. Or, so I thought. I am a really great guy and a catch, too. We had our wedding planned. We were together for two years. She lived with me for a year. We had a really hot sex life. We had a happy life. We integrated our families and kids. We did everything together and we had a lot of fun together. She seemed really happy. One of her adult sons told me he has never seen his mom this happy and he is glad she is finally with someone who treats her well.

During Covid, she got laid off from her job and was unemployed for several months. I never worked from home and went into the office everyday. So, she had a lot of free time.

But, she was always getting texts notifications on her phone from men and it never slowed down or stopped. All the time. And it was distracting from my peace of mind. She wouldn't bock her exes. I asked her about it and she told me that she will always be friends with her exes and that she is not doing anything with them other than being friends. Then I noticed she wasn't getting as many regular text messages but she was always on her phone and I could not really see what apps she was on, but from what I could see, they did not appear to be any apps I have on my phone. I started noticing things that are not usually suspicious but could be scenarios that facilitate cheating. Her stories didn't add up. I tried several times and ways to talk to her about it. The result was always negative and we just could not make any headway. She wouldn't show me her phone. She would always say that I needed to trust her.

I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to know the truth. So, I put a tracker on her car. She had strange patterns. Gas station parking lots for 20 minutes. Big box store parking lots for 6 hours while I was at work. Restaurants. Being out soon after I left for work and home a little before I got home. Weird places. Then, she was at one of her exes' house for 10 hours while I was out of town on business. I decided to borrow a friend's car and went to where the tracker showed her being parked. I did this several times over a period of two months. When her vehicle was parked for several hours. I sat there in the parking lot for several hours. I took a lot of time off work. In those cases, she was dropped off by men (so she was picked-up by them earlier that day and spent the day with them). I never caught her at a gas station lot because she wasn't there long enough for me to get to those. I assume she was doing quickies, but maybe someone here knows how that works at a gas station lot. Is that a common meet-up place or a prostitute type thing? Is that a common thing?

Anyway, I filmed her making out with men. I took pictures of her leaving restaurants arm in arm with men and kissing "good bye til next time" make out sessions as they escort her to her car and close her door before she drives away. I would ask her about her day and activities and learn how she lies and how she navigates lying and started to see her verbal and body language lying cues. Turns out, she lies all the time. It was brutal.

Then, I said something that revealed that I knew about a lot of her behavior. She started sleeping in a different bedroom to punish me for not trusting her. She then moved back in the bedroom with me and she actually abated her activities. Almost no suspicious activities. She got a job and started having a regular routine.

Then one her "friends" found the tracker on her car at lunch. She confronted me about it but, she still didn't admit her activities and insisted she is just friends with all these men and hangs out and was bored staying at home. She wouldn't speak to me for 2 weeks and moved back into the spare bedroom. Then, on a Thursday, she tells me she is moving out the next day and it is over. So, she left because I "don't trust her." Well, she is not trustworthy.

But, I still love her. And, for some reason, I am heart-broken when I should be really pissed at her. I know I will move past this, but I look back and see so many scenarios where now I think she was screwing around.

She still texts with my family. But, she has blocked me. So, she won't block her exes. But, she has blocked me, whom she was engaged to. She told my mom that I really hurt her by tracking her. Whatever. She takes no responsibility for her actions. And, me tracking her only proved what she was doing.

She had her son tell me I was a stalker and if I followed her or bothered her or tried to communicate with her, they would have me arrested.

So, it is a really painful state of affairs right now.

Anyone else have something like this happen?

This post was edited on 7/1/21 at 12:34 pm