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re: I’m struggling with the breakup of my fiancée
Posted on 4/29/26 at 4:10 pm to Arthur Bach
Posted on 4/29/26 at 4:10 pm to Arthur Bach
quote:
I ended things several times. Then I wanted her back and she said no.
OP glossed over this part.
Why did you end things multiple times? That’s important context. “Ending things” could be anything from you weren’t ready to settle down to you found her with another dude balls deep in her.
quote:
It’s for the best. I still love her and we’re still cordial. It’s just not meant to be. I’m dealing with a lot of sadness and anger over the situation, though. I want what is best for her, but it’s still a tough pill to swallow. If I could cry, I would. But I don’t really even know how. She’s giving the ring back and that will be that.
You chose this. Why? On the one hand you say it’s for the best, on the other you’re acting like an actor in a 1980s Air Supply music video. So is it “for the best” or has it ruined your life?
Posted on 4/29/26 at 4:22 pm to Arthur Bach
quote:
Don’t feel like doing much of anything except isolating and moping alone.
I have 100% been there.
It is the last thing you should do. Believe me. Be active, no matter what. What you need is for enough time to pass to start feeling a semblance of the new sense of self you need to develop.
Posted on 4/29/26 at 4:23 pm to Arthur Bach
quote:
I ended things several times. Then I wanted her back and she said no.
Bold strategy Cotton.
Posted on 4/29/26 at 4:25 pm to Arthur Bach
quote:
I ended things several times. Then I wanted her back
This post was edited on 4/29/26 at 4:26 pm
Posted on 4/29/26 at 4:27 pm to Arthur Bach
quote:
I ended things several times. Then I wanted her back and she said no.
Oh shite whatup Shane
Posted on 4/29/26 at 4:31 pm to Arthur Bach
She’s your “former fiancée”.
Breathe in, breathe out, move on.
Breathe in, breathe out, move on.
Posted on 4/29/26 at 4:48 pm to Arthur Bach
quote:
alcohol helps too
This is objectively terrible advise.
Now is the time to eliminate alcohol and focus on clearing your head to channel all of your energy into constructive outlets.
Endless boozin ain’t the way.
This post was edited on 4/29/26 at 4:49 pm
Posted on 4/29/26 at 8:19 pm to Arthur Bach
Hurts now but later you’ll wonder why you ever cared.
Posted on 4/29/26 at 8:55 pm to Arthur Bach
Smoke crack. It will make you forget all about her. And in a couple years, if you continue to smoke lots of crack, you’ll be doing so well that she’ll regret the day she ever let you get away.
Posted on 4/29/26 at 9:04 pm to Arthur Bach
quote:
I want what is best for her, but it’s still a tough pill to swallow. If I could cry, I would. But I don’t really even know how.
Get ahold of yourself, man.
Posted on 4/29/26 at 9:04 pm to Dadren
quote:
fight for your marriage,
Posted on 4/29/26 at 9:17 pm to OysterPoBoy
quote:
Do not do this.
Don’t knock it if you haven’t tried it.
Posted on 4/29/26 at 9:34 pm to Arthur Bach
I'm sorry you're struggling. I've been there. It sucks.
Disregard the people here that are telling you to drink, gamble or whore.
Make yourself do positive things. Whatever that is for you: exercise. Learn to cook. Hike. Make model airplanes. Pray. Make friends and reconnect with old friends. Volunteer.
Go easy on yourself. Breakups suck but they're part of life. You might be blaming yourself. You might be saying you could have made it work. You have to stop that. Give yourself a pass. Even if you had stayed together, it would not have been for the best. She's not the love of your life (trust me on this one). She'll never be the one that got away.
One day you will have learned from this. Your future self will thank your today self for making the right decision. But today you don't need to dissect every little thing. It doesn't help. You'll have clarity about this one day in the future, but no time soon. Paradoxically, the more you try to get clarity by analyzing the relationship and breakup, the longer it'll take for you to move on.
There are people that love you. You may not want to confide in them. You might think they are crazy. They might drive you crazy. But always remember that you are loved.
Accept that you're not going to feel great for six months or a year. Happiness is not a right, and living through times of unhappiness with fortitude is your only path back to happiness.
What is your path to happiness? What does a happy you look like in two years or five years? What do you need to do to get there?
Get help if you need it.
Disregard the people here that are telling you to drink, gamble or whore.
Make yourself do positive things. Whatever that is for you: exercise. Learn to cook. Hike. Make model airplanes. Pray. Make friends and reconnect with old friends. Volunteer.
Go easy on yourself. Breakups suck but they're part of life. You might be blaming yourself. You might be saying you could have made it work. You have to stop that. Give yourself a pass. Even if you had stayed together, it would not have been for the best. She's not the love of your life (trust me on this one). She'll never be the one that got away.
One day you will have learned from this. Your future self will thank your today self for making the right decision. But today you don't need to dissect every little thing. It doesn't help. You'll have clarity about this one day in the future, but no time soon. Paradoxically, the more you try to get clarity by analyzing the relationship and breakup, the longer it'll take for you to move on.
There are people that love you. You may not want to confide in them. You might think they are crazy. They might drive you crazy. But always remember that you are loved.
Accept that you're not going to feel great for six months or a year. Happiness is not a right, and living through times of unhappiness with fortitude is your only path back to happiness.
What is your path to happiness? What does a happy you look like in two years or five years? What do you need to do to get there?
Get help if you need it.
Posted on 4/29/26 at 9:35 pm to Arthur Bach
quote:
I ended things several times.
An end has a finale. You didn't do this.
quote:
Then I wanted her back and she said no.
The only way to break the vicious cycle is to break the cycle. One of you had to end up being stronger than the other, and it looks like it was her. Don't say or do things if you don't really intend to follow through with them. She called your bluff.
quote:
I’m dealing with a lot of sadness and anger over the situation, though.
It's fine to be sad. It's not good to be angry as that can lead to regret and resentment. Regret and resentment are okay to visit, but don't live there. It serves no purpose other than to keep you stuck in the past, and not live in reality (which is acceptance, appreciating today, and moving forward).
quote:
I want what is best for her, but it’s still a tough pill to swallow. If I could cry, I would. But I don’t really even know how.
It's fine to want what is best for her but someone I believe you think that includes you in that mix. Crying is a normal emotion. It's healthy. Let it out. Do it for 15 minutes. And then pick yourself up off the floor, and get going with your daily business in life.
Losing someone sucks. It hurts. But I promise you that you will get through it. Practice silence. It is in the still of the silence that we begin to understand and start to see things clearly.
Posted on 4/29/26 at 9:39 pm to soccerfüt
quote:
Breathe in, breathe out, move on.
That’s in a Jimmy Buffettt song I listened to today.
Posted on 4/29/26 at 9:39 pm to Arthur Bach
Tips. 1) look at her mom because that’s who she will be. 2) make sure y’all are aligned in discipline for the kids and finance.3) see #1.
Posted on 4/30/26 at 12:52 am to threeputt23
quote:
Tips. 1) look at her mom because that’s who she will be. Audible - 2)have sex with her mom 3) wildcard
You’re welcome
Posted on 4/30/26 at 1:18 am to Arthur Bach
quote:
I ended things several times. Then I wanted her back and she said no. It’s for the best. I still love her and we’re still cordial. It’s just not meant to be. I’m dealing with a lot of sadness and anger over the situation, though. I want what is best for her, but it’s still a tough pill to swallow. If I could cry, I would. But I don’t really even know how. She’s giving the ring back and that will be that. Plow into strange, workout, feel it, I’ve heard all the advice. Don’t feel like doing much of anything except isolating and moping alone. Weird to know it’s for the best and still be sad over it.
Mind sharing her side of the story? We’re here to help baw and need all angles before advice.
Posted on 4/30/26 at 2:02 am to Arthur Bach
Take it from me. I wish that would have happened. But I married and forced it through like an idiot....and it ended exactly the way everybody said it would.
Found a better person and its been 10 years of good times.
Have to add though, going on a frick tour helped tremendously. Better give that a second look
Found a better person and its been 10 years of good times.
Have to add though, going on a frick tour helped tremendously. Better give that a second look
Posted on 4/30/26 at 2:06 am to CR4090
Was in a similar situation years ago. Not long after the breakup I found someone else that made me realize that my ex wasn’t shite.
Much happier now with my current relationship and going strong for years
Much happier now with my current relationship and going strong for years
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