re: How to tell the kids that the Elf on the shelf died?

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Tell the kid that Saban played him hurt

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spit my drink out on that one...

Trick the kids into touching it, magic gone, just a stuffed toy and let them play with it.

Get a small box and put a label on it that says “Elf Invisibility Powder”.
Fill box with flour turn it over on its side on the coffee table.
Put little marks in the spilled flour to look like the elf walked through it.
Leave a note from elf that says “it’s so much easier to hide when I’m invisible”

Every day just say “I guess the elf is still invisible”

Then a couple weeks later, leave him in the bathroom sink like he washed it off.
Resume much abbreviated Elf on the Shelf shenanigans.

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Do the elves see your horrible attitude on Tigerdroppings?

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Says the guy shooting stuffed dolls in the head with a shotgun in front of his kids.

Congrats on dad of the year. I’m sure your traumatized kid will end up a sniper in a bell tower.

I had 2 fun years with that. 3 would have been stretching it. Older stepson problem child brother told them it wasn't real. Worked for me.

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Then you are taking a small fortune away from your kids for a pointless day. Sounds like you don’t love your kids very much.

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Or maybe he’s not poor, or he raised his kids right so they don’t need an inheritance, or realizes you can’t take it with you

I found our family's Elf under my parents bed during the summer and realized Santa isnt real. My parents never moved the thing anyway, so I dont know how I never put everything together.

Tell your kids that there are only a certain number of elves, and that their elf moved on to bring joy to another young family.

Then on Christmas day leave a letter from their elf next to the eaten cookies.

Smash it into a dog turd in the yard and tell the kids that the dog ate him.