re: Has anyone had to move their elderly parents in with you?

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My wife works for a law firm in their real estate division. She’s well versed in all that type of stuff. She had a deed drawn up with us as the owners of the house and put a “survivorship” for her mom on the deed.

I’m far from a legal expert, but from what I understand, the way my wife explained it, this means that if something happens and her mom has to go into long term care, they can’t take her house.

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Not if you the parent dies within 5 years.

You need to consult an elder care attorney not a real estate attorney.

How do you know? Maybe this person didn’t have good parents. Maybe there are mental issues involved beyond being old and ornary, and nobody should have to deal with that or be subjecting their kids to it. In these situations, we can’t judge others for decisions they need to make that’s best for them. People need to plan for this. My daughter told me in no way would I ever be in a home. I told her if I reach the point of being bedridden and not know it who I am, to absolutely put me into a home. I don’t want them dealing with it while raising kids and working.

Picking up an elderly person after
they fall requires special training. If they fall once, they will likely fall again.

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If there’s a possibility that she may need Medicaid (for a nursing home, for example) you should have her gift you her house now (if she owns it) so that you can start the five-year period running so that if you ever need to put her into a nursing home, she will be eligible for Medicaid and you will not have to eventually give the house back to Medicaid when she passes. Once five years elapses, Medicaid will not have a lien on her house when she passes.

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For tax purposes, you want to do an irrevocable trust.

If not you will have to pay huge taxes when you sell that house if it is gifted to you instead of putting it in trust.

If it is in trust, you get a step up in basis when they die. If it was just gifted to you before they die, you do not get that step up in basis, and thus will have to pay capital gains from when they initially bought that house. Which could be a huge increase in value these days

I have skipped the majority of this thread.

The original thread title was "Has anyone had to move their elderly parents in with you"?

My father stayed with us while he was dying of liver cancer. Our maid at the time agreed to "sit" with him. Wonderful person. She got him addicted to her "stories". I laughed when he told me that Brook on the "Bold and Beautiful" was a horrible, conniving woman.

My MIL stayed with us for a year after she had a cancerous kidney removed and a year later turned down further treatment.

Nicest person I have ever known. She would watch the cooking channels and write out a grocery list and then cook for us until she couldn't get out of the bed. My wife and her sister took care of her until she passed.

If she has to go to the hospital for any reason from now on, try to get her to the Lake, and ask for the social worker right away. They were great about finding the correct (legitimate) diagnosis for my mother to get into rehab. The social worker handled the calls to the facilities we chose.
Medicare paid for rehab for several weeks. We used the one at St James the first time and Ollie Steele Burden the second time. Both are very expensive if you have to pay out of pocket.

Wow! See if you can get her to her PCP to get a diagnosis for rehab or at least home home health. I hope she has more Coverage than Medicare Part A and B.

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I laughed when he told me that Brook on the "Bold and Beautiful" was a horrible, conniving woman.

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Truth.

This.

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And she wasted over a million+ on a top of the line RV and lengthy trip around the USA because she and her second husband didn't expect to live long. His expectations were met. She is still chugging away.)

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I think I would find a lot of comfort in knowing my elderly parent got such a beautiful opportunity to tour the country and really experience life in their later years.