re: Has anyone had to move their elderly parents in with you?

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They’re going to send out a therapist to help her walk again and such

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This is very good news…it is a major pain to have to bring someone to physical therapy every single day.

As for bathing, that depends on how much she can (and will) do for herself. I think Medicare will pay for someone to come by a couple of times per week to help her bathe and check up on her if she is unable.

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Your immediate family comes first, and this kind of thing is a great way to ruin a marriage. It may not result in a divorce, but it's life changing.

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We are facing this now.

I / You was / were immediate family to my / your parents. The end.

If they could do amazing things for me, work 2 jobs, etc etc, I will certainly make health / twilight of life accommodations for them. Doing so now.

Anything else (barring extra special needs beyond my capacity) sounds like convenience, a cop out, and shameful. My wife should have divorced me if I thought differently. And vice versa.

Family and teamwork are how we roll. Hard as chit as it may be. And hard it is.

Tough titty (quoting grandma…also family).

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It's a good move to get everything in the kids' names before reaching that point.

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Yep. We tried telling her that for years but she never took any action. Now the nursing home will end up taking every penny she had. She cried once she realized that she wouldn’t be leaving anything to her two daughters. We are fine without it and I’m glad my father in law saved enough to afford her the ability to be in a top flight assisted living facility but it still sucks a little bit.

Medicare i think will come into your home a few times a week.

We are here to suffer through life.
Live in the moment.
Find love wherever you can.
Reject negativity.
There's a plan.

You're just living it.
Enjoy the ride where you can.

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Grab bars all over the bathroom. Chair height commode. Wheelchair / walker ramp. Sitters often work for a company. They are not too dependable, so you will go thru quite a few. You’ll likely not be taking extended trips without being called several times per day. No access to any kind of valuables (money, jewelry, silverware) when a sitter is in the house. You are very lucky to have the studio apartment. You need to be sure there is a hand shower (on a hose). Be sure there is place can get warm enough…elderly get cold very quickly Seek help with batihing from home health sooner rather than later..

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MIL lived with us for over 9 years. I did add taller toilets, grab rails, built a ramp.

I also added a separate wall heater in the bathroom.

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I won’t consider it. I don’t mean to lack empathy, but I have two young kids and my own life. I don’t live in a big house with spare room to host and care for an elderly person. I also, most importantly, don’t desire to have an elderly, needy person in my house all the time.

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OUCH!
I dont know you or anything about you but i can tell you with certainty that from your post, we are VERY different.

Entitled a little???

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As someone else mentioned, even a frail 100lb lady is difficult to manage for bathing, toileting, bed changes, dressing

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That was the problem we had. Except it was my wife that was the 100lb lady. My MIL was about 200lb when she moved in with us. It took a toll on my wife physically and neither would let me assist when it came to showers or potty chair over the toilet. Luckily once she moved in with us and my wife was able to monitor her diet more she lost some weight. It helped some.

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If they could do amazing things for me, work 2 jobs, etc etc, I will certainly make health / twilight of life accommodations for them. Doing so now. Anything else (barring extra special needs beyond my capacity) sounds like convenience, a cop out, and shameful.

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This is incredibly harsh and not the case for many people who go to assisted living/nursing homes. Since you say you're "facing this now" I assume you haven't really experienced what this is like. Taking care of elderly people with myriad medical issues is in NO WAY the same as parents (who are likely young) caring for their children.

It looks more like advanced dementia in a perfectly fine body and they keep trying to burn your house down while you sleep. Or it's a person who can't do a thing for themselves, to include feeding and "toileting" (diapers) while you're working a full-time job and also caring for your own children.

Not to mention, elderly people whose caretakers work full-time jobs are largely ignored. Loneliness and depression are prevalent in this age group. So they have a little room with a recliner to watch TV all day? Assisted living facilities have full-service dining rooms, activity directors, entertainers coming in, etc. Even if it's just a Girl Scout troop singing Christmas carols or arts & crafts with the local fire fighters, it's something mentally stimulating to do all day.

Don’t forget the VA also. If they were, spouse was, children that are or anyone living in the house they will be residing in are all possible ways to get assistance.