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re: Ever have a carefully planned trip just fall apart by the time you're ready to leave?
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:10 am to Bunk Moreland
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:10 am to Bunk Moreland
quote:
This has happened a few times when a big group of friends try to put something together. It hasn't gotten to the point that I don't even commit in the first place because I know it will blow up in the end.
My smaller girlfriend group is 6 of us, and we are currently texting trying to find a day over a span of two months that we can go to brunch in Arnaudville. We can't get 6 people to sync up on one Sunday out of 8 options
2
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:13 am to fr33manator
frick em, those that don’t come. Just enjoy the trip with the ones that show up.
This post was edited on 6/9/23 at 9:46 am
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:14 am to LouisianaLady
quote:
My smaller girlfriend group is 6 of us, and we are currently texting trying to find a day over a span of two months that we can go to brunch in Arnaudville. We can't get 6 people to sync up on one Sunday out of 8 options
we do about two "group" trips a year, one to the beach and one to the mountains for skiing/snowboarding, same people usually, my wife procures the place to stay and we always take care of that, she just tells everyone what days we have the place and if they show up fine, if not that's fine too, everyone usually shows up
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:15 am to fr33manator
We have been planning a trip to the Texas Hill Country with my wife's siblings and their families for a long 4th of July weekend. We got a sweet cabin on 100 acres with a pool, outdoor kitchen, on the river, etc. Nice place for all us and the kids.
My wife's sister is notoriously flakey, so we scheduled the trip around her (she lives in Austin) to make it as easy as possible for her to show up. We are not even making her split the cost. All she has to do is show up with her kid and have a good time.
She told us she can't come last week, despite the fact that us and my wife's brother are going out of our way to accommodate her. Frustrating, but we will still have a good time.
My wife's sister is notoriously flakey, so we scheduled the trip around her (she lives in Austin) to make it as easy as possible for her to show up. We are not even making her split the cost. All she has to do is show up with her kid and have a good time.
She told us she can't come last week, despite the fact that us and my wife's brother are going out of our way to accommodate her. Frustrating, but we will still have a good time.
This post was edited on 6/9/23 at 9:16 am
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:17 am to fr33manator
Twice I have had flights canceled due to hurricanes. I flew out a day early for one wedding and a drove to Pensacola for another to get a flight out.
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:17 am to fr33manator
Family vacations by definition are a crapshoot because of events beyond your control. It gets worse as your kids and the other cousins their age get older and start their own lives.
My wife's family has a standing beach vacation every year week of 4th of July (for over 20 years). Every now and then there's an unavoidable issue that prevents someone from coming the whole week, but it's rare.
My wife's family has a standing beach vacation every year week of 4th of July (for over 20 years). Every now and then there's an unavoidable issue that prevents someone from coming the whole week, but it's rare.
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:18 am to fr33manator
quote:
carefully planned trip
This wasn’t the case if nobody really committed. Y’all were just tossing around ideas apparently.
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:19 am to fr33manator
I’ll come with you baw
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:20 am to LouisianaLady
quote:
My smaller girlfriend group is 6 of us
Pics?
<——Likes ‘em lean.
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:21 am to TackySweater
Of course the people who flake should just say no to begin with, but I think “planners” often fail to pick up on obvious social cues that people aren’t actually interested
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:25 am to jmarto1
quote:
Yes. Usually due to women
This. For our longer trips, I plan out things to do and make an itinerary so we can see everything. I seek my wife's opinion throughout the whole process, she gives no suggestions, and then a few days before we leave she always tries to blow up our itinerary because of some BS she saw on social media. Half the time it isn't even anywhere close to where we are going. For example, when we went to Puerto Rico, she found a cool thing to see in San Juan...on the Canary Islands
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:26 am to Salmon
quote:
My wife's sister is notoriously flakey, so we scheduled the trip around her (she lives in Austin) to make it as easy as possible for her to show up. We are not even making her split the cost. All she has to do is show up with her kid and have a good time.
She told us she can't come last week,
Would be time for me to have a discussion with the wife to let her know that was the last time you will try to ever accommodate her sister.
Also, you made it easier for her to be flaky because she was not being asked to cover any of the cost. When money is involved, they are much more likely to show up.
This post was edited on 6/9/23 at 9:29 am
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:31 am to Rouge
quote:
Would be time for me to have a discussion with the wife to let her know that was the last time you will try to ever accommodate her sister.
Yeah, probably. But I doubt it. Its hard to completely write off family and there is always that hope.
The only part that is frustrating is that we probably would have went somewhere a little closer if it was just us and my wife's brother (they live in Dallas). Maybe somewhere like Broken Bow or something. Other than that, we are not out of anything.
quote:
Also, you made it easier for her to be flaky because she was not being asked to cover any of the cost. When money is involved, they are much more likely to show up.
Well there was 0% chance she would have even agreed to at any time if we would have asked her to split cost
This post was edited on 6/9/23 at 9:32 am
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:34 am to GreatLakesTiger24
quote:
Of course the people who flake should just say no to begin with, but I think “planners” often fail to pick up on obvious social cues that people aren’t actually interested
While this may be true, I feel like the flakes I know are people who 100% believe that it's a yes when they say yes. They have some kind of mental block that keeps them from recognizing they're a flake. They fully think they're going to be attending the thing, and then always flake out last minute.
I have a friend who often flakes out that texted me for months leading up to my wedding about how she for sure has the babysitter, for sure will be there, etc. I knew the entire time something was going to "happen" and she wouldn't come. Texted the night before the wedding and lo and behold.. something happened.
The situation she explained, if true, was a legitimate excuse.. but when you've flaked a solid 70% of the times we've planned things for years, legitimate excuses tend to not sit as well.
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:34 am to fr33manator
Only thing worse would be that you and your spouse had cooked and frozen food for a crowd for half a week, only to have more leftovers than you would want
Twice I cooked for a couple who were friends of my husband and I was careful to follow their dietary constraints. Both weeks they didn't come. They didn't get a third invite.
Twice I cooked for a couple who were friends of my husband and I was careful to follow their dietary constraints. Both weeks they didn't come. They didn't get a third invite.
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:36 am to Salmon
quote:
Well there was 0% chance she would have even agreed to at any time if we would have asked her to split cost
Well there you go. At a certain point, you need to explain to these flakes that you are making decisions based upon their habits. When you go out of your way to accommodate someone and they still bail, we're not going to do the accommodation anymore.
Sorry. You just hit on a pet peeve.
This post was edited on 6/9/23 at 9:37 am
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:36 am to LouisianaLady
True, there are definitely different varieties of flakes. I guess I was referring more to “weekend plans” type flakes as opposed to big vacations/weddings
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:38 am to GreatLakesTiger24
I'm not sure we have 14 people total in our families combined ha, so I can't relate.
We never travel with anyone besides the immediate family so don't run into this issue.
We never travel with anyone besides the immediate family so don't run into this issue.
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:39 am to Rouge
Nah. It's fine. She has definitely worn people down. Even my wife's parents will be like "do we even bother inviting her" on stuff these days.
Posted on 6/9/23 at 9:41 am to Salmon
quote:
Nah. It's fine
The issue is that it's not fine. You and your in-laws are all going out of your way to be closer to your sister-in-law for this trip. You even said that you could have picked a nicer and more convenient place for you and for your in-laws.
Flakes like your sister-in-law will do this over and over and over again without any sense of remorse or even understanding of what they're doing.
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