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re: Anybody else’s mother-in-law hoarding the day?
Posted on 5/10/26 at 11:49 am to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
Posted on 5/10/26 at 11:49 am to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
Yes.
0
Posted on 5/10/26 at 11:51 am to TigerTatorTots
quote:
Sounds like the epitome of a boomer mom/grandma
Mine isn't like that, thank God. I see it in real life and it is quite common.
It's an American thing I think.
Posted on 5/10/26 at 12:03 pm to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
Sounds miserable. Guess I’m fortunate that I don’t have to deal with that since I lost my mom at a young age, and my wife lost her mom 7 years ago. Guess we just have all the luck
Posted on 5/10/26 at 12:06 pm to TigerTatorTots
quote:
Sounds like the epitome of a boomer mom/grandma
Mine tried to guilt my wife into being away from me and the kids for the entire day, because “it’s Mother’s Day”
She was asking for a favor, not even to spend time with my wife.
Bright side is my wife finally understands me telling her she needs to set better boundaries with her. It’s quite sad, she always wants to dictate everything that happens, throws a fit at any push back, but the result is that she only ever gets what she asks for, so nobody does anything she doesn’t ask for.
Posted on 5/10/26 at 12:06 pm to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
quote:
and their mom had a fricking meltdown that they are being selfish.
Woman logic: you’re selfish if you don’t drop your responsibilities and make the day all about me and what I want to do
Posted on 5/10/26 at 12:08 pm to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
quote:
literally want to spend the entire day with my wife and her sister.
THE HORROR
Posted on 5/10/26 at 12:09 pm to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
I’m lucky. We are on a target run and she bought my kid buncha stuff I don’t have to lol
Posted on 5/10/26 at 12:12 pm to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
OT should enjoy this one.
Fiance’s ex sent him a nastygram text message this morning, upset that the step kid got me a Mother’s Day gift (nothing crazy, she picked out a cute card and a gift card). Said my fiance should be emphasizing her “real Mom” and not “forcing” her to “honor” me.
For sake of background I’ve known the kid since she was 9, have lived with and helped raise her since she was 10 (she’s now 17). And she started texting me Happy Mother’s Day and asking to get me a gift when shopping for her Mom a couple years ago completely unprompted (Fiance wanted to do it earlier but I asked to wait until the kid asked to do it).
Fiance’s ex sent him a nastygram text message this morning, upset that the step kid got me a Mother’s Day gift (nothing crazy, she picked out a cute card and a gift card). Said my fiance should be emphasizing her “real Mom” and not “forcing” her to “honor” me.
For sake of background I’ve known the kid since she was 9, have lived with and helped raise her since she was 10 (she’s now 17). And she started texting me Happy Mother’s Day and asking to get me a gift when shopping for her Mom a couple years ago completely unprompted (Fiance wanted to do it earlier but I asked to wait until the kid asked to do it).
Posted on 5/10/26 at 12:14 pm to Joshjrn
quote:
I think OP’s point of contention is that he also has kids, who presumably want to spend time with their mom and their mom with them.
You are correct, I looked at it wrong.
Posted on 5/10/26 at 12:15 pm to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
I wouldn't mind doing a quick gift giving with the kids and then letting the girls have a day together if they all wanted that.
If your wife doesn't want it, that's between her and her mother.
If your wife doesn't want it, that's between her and her mother.
Posted on 5/10/26 at 12:17 pm to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
quote:
Maybe she’s coming to terms with her eminent mortality, and she only has a certain number of years left with them?
Probably. You’re not wrong is saying “Hey, we’re splitting up the day.”
There’s been this weird vibe in my own family from the older adults about the “kids” (who are all 25+ at this point) doing things outside of our regular family stuff. I’m still hearing about attending a friend’s vow renewal on Derby instead of attending the family Derby party.
That generation is really struggling with that it seems.
Posted on 5/10/26 at 12:21 pm to BluegrassBelle
quote:
BluegrassBelle
Mom sounds cranky... you sound like an excellent bonus mom and the girl appreciates you.
Posted on 5/10/26 at 12:37 pm to Mushroom1968
quote:
You are correct, I looked at it wrong.
It happens. Hell, I missed a dick joke last night. Right fricking embarrassing, that was
Posted on 5/10/26 at 12:49 pm to BluegrassBelle
quote:
Fiance’s ex
Cant imagine why she's EX
Posted on 5/10/26 at 12:53 pm to Joshjrn
quote:
Pretty standard projection for people who lean narcissistic. Unless you give them exactly what they want, exactly when they want, every single time they want, you are the “selfish” one. Takes a while for people to overcome the guilt, but once you wrap your head around the fact that there is truly no pleasing them, it gets progressively easier to set boundaries.
Yea I read OP’s thing and realized it’s the same damn thing. I’m still in the process of overcoming the guilt. And holidays seem to be big milestones that really bring the narcissism to peak levels
Edit: one saving grace for me is I married well - my wife and MIL are really chill about this stuff. The crazy is in my genes
This post was edited on 5/10/26 at 1:00 pm
Posted on 5/10/26 at 12:56 pm to OceanMan
quote:
It’s quite sad, she always wants to dictate everything that happens, throws a fit at any push back, but the result is that she only ever gets what she asks for, so nobody does anything she doesn’t ask for.
This apparently is extremely common, damn
Posted on 5/10/26 at 1:03 pm to Athis
mr.t voice of an angel
Posted on 5/10/26 at 1:20 pm to HoustonGumbeauxGuy
Sounds like a real functional family you have there
Posted on 5/10/26 at 1:22 pm to Upperdecker
quote:
Yea I read OP’s thing and realized it’s the same damn thing. I’m still in the process of overcoming the guilt. And holidays seem to be big milestones that really bring the narcissism to peak levels
Honestly it was huge fuel for me moving away. EVERY holiday was a mandatory event for everyone. The guilt for not attending when I started dating and doing things w her family occasionally was off the charts... grilled as to why I could stomach missing such an important event..... when again...we had one every fricking holiday.
I think what burned me most was these events are never actually about enjoying quality family time, its not about anyone enjoying the event. Its making sure we cram everyone in one house.... making sure everyone is in attendance... thats it. frick that.
Ive moved away...I visit and spend real quality w people im actually close to... the guilt was horrendous the for the first few years and died down. Its pathological w that generation I swear
This post was edited on 5/10/26 at 4:58 pm
Posted on 5/10/26 at 1:28 pm to Dixie2023
I deferred to the children's mother inlaws for today. Now I am getting 5 days with the kids and grandkids over memorial day weekend. Sometimes it pays to never be demanding.
Same with the Christmas and Thanksgiving. I never demand the day and usually get a getaway or a 3 day weekend instead. It has paid off well for me.
Same with the Christmas and Thanksgiving. I never demand the day and usually get a getaway or a 3 day weekend instead. It has paid off well for me.
This post was edited on 5/10/26 at 1:34 pm
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