re: Anybody else’s mother-in-law hoarding the day?

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That was a bit much, ya?

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Yeah. Lol..read in baw voice joking.. I have no way to know she's stupid

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breakfast, hang out, go to brunch, hang out some more and then go shopping, then grab an early dinner

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You posted this at 9:45 am... How does she expect to eat breakfast, "brunch", and "early dinner" in roughly 7 hours. that's a lot of food. Also, who does breakfast and brunch in the same day? I thought brunch took the place of both breakfast and lunch

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And then you have what I've dealt with, and that is a grandmother who shows little to no interest in our kids. Not narcissism, just laziness and apathy. When ours were younger, there would be times they would go spend the night at my mom's, but then she had an affair, divorced my dad, and got remarried and had no time for us. The breaking point for us to quit asking to come over and visit and bring the kids was when she confided in my wife that she couldn't watch our daughter one night when we had plans because her boyfriend was coming over. And wanted my wife to keep it a secret from me. Thankfully my wife said we keep no secrets in our marriage, brought our daughter home, and there was a long period after that where we just quit trying. Her priorities were elsewhere, and if that is what she wanted to do, fine with me, just don't complain if you're not in our plans for a while.

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Yea I've had to come to terms with my mom being a totally absent grandmother. In addition to apathy she's also a control freak w narcissistic tendencies. My son is turning 4 in a month. She has watched him solo 0 times...seen him in person maybe a grand total of 6? She initially insisted on us staying w them on visits... a year ago she wanted to control sleeping arrangements such my wife in son were in 1 room and I was in another...I said thats ridiculous....she switched us to a hotel last second. Tried to visit for mardi gras and she decided staying to Metairie parades was the way to go...when I said we wanted to go uptown...trip cancelled..well try again next year..that was our hint...literally having control > seeing her grandson. At this point she sees him once a year on his birthday which she spends obsessing over whatever she brought to said party cookies, pinata...thats her focus.

Its been a gut punch that my mom really doesnt wanna be a grandmother...especially after I grew up spending every other weekend at her moms...but im at peace after creating some distance and not being the one to try anymore.