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Posted on 5/28/22 at 11:43 pm to TideSaint
quote:
In the last year I've put in knobs on all their kitchen and bathroom cabinets, hanged multiple televisions, put together their outdoor furniture and fireplace, put together a new bed frame, installed ceiling fans and light fixtures, watched their two huge dogs for weeks at a time, etc
I can understand installing light fixtures and fans (although it's ludicrous to expect a neighbor to come do it for free). That's daunting for anybody that's never done it, and not a good idea anyway if you don't know what you're doing around electricity.
But for God's sake, he can't put together some furniture and bed frames? Like we're not talking about building furniture from scratch, right? He can't read some instructions from ikea and use the supplied Allen wrench to screw a few pieces together? I know not everyone's handy, but good God, man. Does he need help cutting his grass too?
Posted on 5/29/22 at 12:26 am to TideSaint
Just tactfully tell him that your kids are starting to ask why you are gone so much.
Posted on 5/29/22 at 2:19 am to TideSaint
You messed up when you did more than wave and nod.
Posted on 5/29/22 at 4:45 am to TideSaint
Learn how to say, "No." It's difficult for a lot of people to say no without thinking they're being rude, but it's better to politely decline than do something while harboring resentment.
Hey man, can you give me a hand with putting together this patio furniture?
No.
Oh, okay, tomorrow maybe?
"No." Then, politely wave bye and go inside.
Hey man, can you give me a hand with putting together this patio furniture?
No.
Oh, okay, tomorrow maybe?
"No." Then, politely wave bye and go inside.
Posted on 5/29/22 at 6:20 am to gizmothepug
quote:
You messed up when you did more than wave and nod.
Good fences make good neighbors.
Posted on 5/29/22 at 6:21 am to TideSaint
Tell him you are quarantining every time he asks.
Posted on 5/29/22 at 7:17 am to TideSaint
you might try by turning the tables a little on him...the next few times you have some type of manual labor that doesn't require technical know-how (raking leaves, washing house/boat/rv, etc) call him up and ask him to come help...even for mundane stuff he knows you can do
he'll either have to come do it to stay in your good graces, or he'll have to turn you down at the expense of losing your help in the future...either way he should get the message
and if he doesn't, you'll know you can cut him off without feeling guilty because he's proving he's just a "taker"
he'll either have to come do it to stay in your good graces, or he'll have to turn you down at the expense of losing your help in the future...either way he should get the message
and if he doesn't, you'll know you can cut him off without feeling guilty because he's proving he's just a "taker"
Posted on 5/29/22 at 8:28 am to TideSaint
As long as you do the work he will continue to not know how to do anything
Posted on 5/29/22 at 9:13 am to TideSaint
He is definitely using you. I'm thar guy that can barely work on anything. I dont create situations that force people to help me. If I need help I intend on paying someone. If I get in areal bind that was out of my control and someone helps me I show my appreciation. When I had my condo on OB I regularly sent friends there on me to say thanks.
Posted on 5/29/22 at 9:15 am to TideSaint
quote:
I've got three kids of my own and I'm tired of helping them out at every turn. How do I politely tell them my days of their free handyman are over without ruining the friendship?
Maybe stop proactively offering and start declining some projects.
You know, still be a friend and neighbor but stop telling him you will do things that you don’t actually want to
Posted on 5/29/22 at 10:28 am to TideSaint
You don't have to tell him you're done...just quit showing up and doing for him. He'll get the message eventually! The only problem here is YOU! 
Posted on 5/29/22 at 11:35 am to TideSaint
screw up a couple of times. there may be a mental hump at first but start practicing screwing up. he'll stop asking.
Posted on 5/29/22 at 11:53 am to AM
I had a neighbor come knock on my door saying she saw me painting some furniture with a wagner painter and wanted to know if I wanted to redo her patio chairs for me. I laughed and said no but that she could borrow the wagner. She declined.....lol The audacity of some people. You need to give them a frick you price for your help. "hey I decided I'm going to do handyman stuff on the side. My starting rate is 125 per hour" etc
Posted on 5/29/22 at 12:31 pm to LordSnow
flirt with his wife in front of him and he will quit having you over! If not, my polite word I use for no is sorry, I have to pass.
Posted on 5/29/22 at 1:39 pm to TideSaint
Just tell then your busy, and push it off the wife will want to swim and he will not want to listen to the batching, he will figure it out or get someone else to do it. He is using you, either you are a great friend or he would be poor from all the booze and steaks he buys me and my family.
Posted on 5/29/22 at 2:17 pm to TideSaint
frick his wife. That should do it.
Posted on 5/29/22 at 2:31 pm to TideSaint
Burn his house down so he has to move away.
Posted on 5/30/22 at 10:56 pm to Chad504boy
OP.....you've tweaked your back lately, right?
It flares up from time to time, right?
That's the thing about back trouble. Just comes and goes like that.
It flares up from time to time, right?
That's the thing about back trouble. Just comes and goes like that.
Posted on 5/31/22 at 10:19 am to ItzMe1972
quote:
Givers have to set limits because takers rarely do. – Henry Ford
i live in mixed downtown neighborhood. i have rich folk and crack heads on all sides of me.
after my first few endeavors of having some of the more downtrodden ask for help (financial, borrowing tools, helping with plumbing, electric, giving rides, etc.) i had to learn to set limits.
i don't mind being inconvenienced. as a christian, i'm called to help out even to the point of hurting.
i do mind being depended upon for basic functions or luxuries due to laziness.
e.g.
i will put food on your table for your family if needed.
i will not pay for your cigarettes.
i will come help you unclog a toilet.
i will not let you use my wifi.
i will give you a ride to see friends or family or to a job.
i will not give you a ride to go buy beer, cigarettes, or drugs.
you can use my mower.
you may not keep my mower for your lawn mowing side gig.
more often than not, i've purchased tools for them and said that it's up to you to keep that working at that point.
how old is this dude and where is he from originally?
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