Stupid stuff you've done in the kitchen.

Not paying close enough attention, opening the big end of the seasoning container and dumping an enormous mound of seasoning into a dish

Being a complete dumbass and forgetting to grab a potholder to get a hot pan out of the oven

Put a raw, uncracked egg into the microwave. (I was 12-ish.)

It exploded and blew the microwave door open and got egg everywhere.

Years ago I pulled a Pyrex out of the oven and put it on a burner I didn’t realize was hot because of a lack of counter space. I turned around to wash some dishes and it sounded almost like a gunshot. Damn thing exploded sending shards of glass everywhere. I was lucky that I only had 3-4 scratches on my legs. Could have been a lot worse.

Cutting my fingers several times.

Putting bread to rise in the oven and then forgetting about it. (With a towel over the bread bowl). Preheating same oven a bit later to slow roast something—-> Halfway cooked bread in a stainless steel bowl and a burned up dishrag.

Previous neighbors were cooking when a hurricane came through. Pot on stove. (Isaac?). Power out for a week. They left to go to a family members house who had power/ac. Power came back on. Pot still on stove. Burned down kitchen/side of their house. Smoke ruined all furniture/carpet/clothes/curtains of rooms that weren’t burned. Firemen had to kick in front door too.

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Put a raw, uncracked egg into the microwave. (I was 12-ish.)

It exploded and blew the microwave door open and got egg everywhere.

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Yep, did this too except in Pyrex glass mixing bowl full of water trying to boil an egg. Thankfully it didn’t decapitate me when it shattered and blew out the microwave door like a frag grenade

ETA cutting vegetables, dropped a knife, lost hunk of toe

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Years ago I pulled a Pyrex out of the oven and put it on a burner

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I did that many times to de-glaze with broth for a gravy. It worked great until it didn't I heard the same noise. Cleanup was extensive.

I've put refrigerator stuff in the cabinets and cabinet stuff in the refrigerator.

Opening up a can of corned beef (I hate those damn cans with the key), couldn't get it out of the can. Started shaking the can. Corned beef on the floor. Picked it up within 3 seconds so still good, right??

Not knowing the wife had already loosened the lid on a jar of spaghetti sauce, I picked it up and started shaking it before dumping it into the pot. The lid flies off and spaghetti sauce flies ALL OVER the kitchen. Looked like a crime scene.

Repeated the exact same scene about 6 months later!!! Needless to say, I never pick up and shake jars anymore without confirming the lid is firmly attached.

I like this thread

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I just opened a can of beef broth, and poured the whole thing down the drain.

I'm so used to draining whatever can item I am opening.

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I've done this exact thing. I think it may have even been with beef broth.

On a few occasions I've blindly grabbed spices and put them on buttery toast thinking it was cinnamon. I know I've done it with chili powder, probably others. Made for some super fricked up toast.