Why do people drink their beers slow?

Agreed. My favorite method of drinking them is the keg stand.

because when I enjoy a nice, crispy Bud Light, I like to allow it to warm to room temperature, preferably in my Cantillon balloon glass, so that the coldness does not dull my taste buds, nor does it hold back that beautiful hop aroma

Pound the first 8, sip the rest.

Because IPAs open up and taste better as they warm up. If a beer is ice cold, it means you have to choke it down before the essence of urine and cheap grains creeps in.

Because not everyone wants to chug their beer like a frat kid.

One night in college I did a couple of beer bongs with Steel Reserve. I don't remember the night that well, but I do remember the next morning

I've now learned to enjoy my beer instead of funneling it down my throat.

You'd be surprised how the taste opens up for some beer after you let it warm up a little. However I wouldn't let light domestic beer warm up because then you'll actually realize that it's horse piss you're drinking.

If you are nursing a Bud Light it is because it tastes like ditch water strained though game worn socks and they really don't want to finish it. They are likely carrying around an empty can hoping nobody will notice.

frick people that bitch about people chugging beer, I mean they bought, they can do what they want with it. I think it is interesting when I see someone chug a 10%+ beer, I also laugh at some of these chugs.

I figure it is no different than people posting their workouts, food/cooking, etc it is a hobby and people can do what they want.