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re: I'm angry that my sister is dead.

Posted on 3/6/23 at 11:59 pm to
Posted by habz007
New Orleans
Member since Nov 2007
3717 posts
Posted on 3/6/23 at 11:59 pm to
I’ve only read OP post and nothing on pages afterward…

Best wishes for you. All prayers given up too, although I don’t personally pray myself.

I’ve dealt with a lot of shite and painful losses in past 2 years as well. Probably worst is my best friend’s younger brother who was like my own little brother. I know what you’re feeling. There’s other posters on here who know exactly what you’re going through.

Life is cool, and it also sucks. Hope you can battle through this pain. If you need help, hopefully there’s others here who can help you out if needed, myself included… best wishes brother
This post was edited on 3/7/23 at 12:04 am
Posted by jscrims
Lost
Member since May 2008
3558 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 1:12 am to
Bro, go see some help. I genuinely mean that. Call around therapists until you find someone who will take you.

It will help as it helped me.
Posted by windmill
Prairieville, La
Member since Dec 2005
7023 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 1:28 am to
Know that things will get better in time. Absolutely seek help from a professional and don't let anything get in the way of your getting the help that you need. Good luck and Godspeed.
Posted by ColdTurkey
Where the Buffalo roam...
Member since Nov 2019
7634 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 4:55 am to
quote:

If you have a close friend seek them out and let it all out and stay with them for a bit if you can.

I stayed with a buddy last night and honestly wished I'd gotten a hotel. I didn't sleep again last night because I got the shite bit outta my back by a mouse or rat and kept hearing mice tonight. I'm going to the hospital today. My vision sucks so bad and I can't talk that great to carry on a conversation without looking like I've lost my damn mind. And Chick, okay I figure you'll be up soon enough
Posted by kywildcatfanone
Wildcat Country!
Member since Oct 2012
119559 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 5:28 am to
Sorry, for your loss. Lost my brother 5 years ago. It was very difficult to deal with for a while. Give yourself time, and find a qualified grief counselor that you trust.
Posted by HarrisonTown
Member since Nov 2019
516 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 6:12 am to
So sorry for your loss, I can't imagine losing one of my siblings. I'd be wrecked.
Go talk to someone, talk to multiple someones, a group and a greif counselor, just like you're telling the OT now. It's therapeutic.
Try to exercise (I know that sounds kinda stupid).
Prayers and good luck to you.
Posted by Mr. Hangover
New Orleans
Member since Sep 2003
34520 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 6:54 am to
quote:

frick you this isn’t the thread for your attention seeking


That dudes schtick is so old and annoying
Posted by Mr. Hangover
New Orleans
Member since Sep 2003
34520 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 6:58 am to
quote:

I stayed with a buddy last night and honestly wished I'd gotten a hotel. I didn't sleep again last night because I got the shite bit outta my back by a mouse or rat and kept hearing mice tonight.


This deserves its own thread
Posted by CrappyPants
Member since Apr 2021
713 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 7:02 am to
Look for her in signs. She will show you. You have to look. Also, you will be with her again one fine day. Hold on to that.
Posted by FLBooGoTigs1
Nocatee, FL.
Member since Jan 2008
54724 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 7:03 am to
Just when I thought he may have gotten to get some sleep and then the rat bite. Hell now I can't sleep. OP give us an update hopefully after you get some sleep. Prayers to you brother
Posted by Animal
Member since Dec 2017
4222 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 7:07 am to
Sorry for your loss. Haven't lost a sibling but I did lose a mother fairly young.

I get the anger and it is to be expected. I don't know your age but be careful not to let it define who you are.

As absolutely dumb as it sounds, face it. You will get better.

I pray you find peace.
Posted by CelticDog
Member since Apr 2015
42867 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 8:22 am to
quote:

don't know how to be patient and let time heal this shite when it's fricking destroying everything


you confess you don't have the emotional or spiritual practice. learn those.

everything dies.
loved ones.
ones own body will eventually die, sooner or later. nightmare possibilities can precede death. I'd like a little advance notice but not months wracked with pain.

i recommend book Easy death. you can get a used paperback. reasonable.

in any case you need perspective.
love more. others. yourself. god at whom you are presently angry.
Christians have Satan upon whom to blame all bad from tornados to "the devil made me do it".
my advice.
love with deep feeling.
let it be ok to feel it all.

I'm a fan of body work in times of deep loss.
massage and especially
"Reichian breathwork" while the wound is fresh.
don't be saddled with this for years.
Posted by ColdTurkey
Where the Buffalo roam...
Member since Nov 2019
7634 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 8:29 am to
quote:

Sorry for your loss. Haven't lost a sibling but I did lose a mother fairly young.


I'm sorry. I can't imagine losing my mom yet and she's not in good health at all at 58.
quote:

get the anger and it is to be expected. I don't know your age but be careful not to let it define who you are.


It's beginning to. I'm withdrawn from most of the people I talked to on an everyday basis before. I don't have the energy. I couldn't stay focused watching Bullet Train with my buddy last night and he kept saying aww'd you see that?! And I'd look up and feel like such an arse. But he and his wife are two of my best friends and they know what's gone on. He lost one of his brothers 3 years ago.
Posted by upgrade
Member since Jul 2011
13177 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 8:45 am to
I do not pretend to know what you are experiencing right now, but the more time you spend with friends and family talking about things, the better. Remember that friends and family love you and care about you. Try not to be reclusive. Do some type of physical activity. You don’t have to forget about your sister or what happened.
Posted by FlyFishinTiger
Fayetteville,AR
Member since Mar 2021
704 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 9:05 am to
(no message)
This post was edited on 3/18/23 at 8:52 am
Posted by HeadSlash
TEAM LIVE BADASS - St. GEORGE
Member since Aug 2006
49890 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 9:13 am to
Harsh reality-Life goes on
Posted by m2pro
Member since Nov 2008
28639 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 9:29 am to
I went thru a serious "nothing matters" phase when my dad died. I felt it was disrespectful to learn to let go of the pain because that's a conscious decision to start forgetting him. When we survive others, you don't WANT to let go because it is the beginning of erasure in many of the meaningful ways a person is good to you while they are still alive. It's really hard to articulate this point properly and know you'll understand me when I say it... and I never really consciously decided i was done hurting. The good news is that time itself will do what it has to do for your subconscious to make sense of it all and be at peace about it.

So my advice is just to do whatever you have to do, within reason, to distract yourself in the current. That helps a tremendous amount. Any distraction. Your brain will eventually work out the rest. Take time to consciously lament and hurt as hard as you want, but keep that part shorter. Try to stay as busy and distracted as you can. Time is healing. Go have beer with some friends even if you don't drink beer. Go to a ballgame. Go fish... go do whatever. Just don't sit around and do nothing.
This post was edited on 3/7/23 at 9:31 am
Posted by Bayou Warrior 64
Member since Feb 2021
321 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 11:45 am to

Sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your family.
Posted by swamplynx
Lake Chuck
Member since Oct 2014
1241 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 11:52 am to
quote:

I'm angry that my sister is dead.


I went through your exact situation when my mom died from an aneurysm. She was probably the best person I will ever encounter, so full of life.

That was several years ago, but I get angry when I hear of horrible people surviving aneurysms when my mom, who was loved by everyone, didn't.

What it boils down to is life isn't fair, and sometimes it rains shite on people who don't deserve it. It gets easier once you try to make sense of it.

OP you need to talk to someone. Telehealth may be an option for you.
Posted by CoachDon
Louisville
Member since Sep 2014
12409 posts
Posted on 3/7/23 at 11:57 am to
1ST OFF- sorry and prayers for you and your family. I lost my sister when she was only 18 to a freak accident, so I can empathize.

Have you allowed yourself to grieve? I remember basically walking around holding it together for my brother and parents. I felt like as oldest I had the responsibility to "be strong" for everyone and put my own grieving aside. I don't regret doing that for them, but it took a bad toll on me mentally and physically, and it took a long tome to get past it to an extent.

If you're religious - pray on it and ask for strength.

Above all, talk to someone. It's okay to have whatever emotions you're having - it's all a natural part of grieving. That said, allow yourself to grieve. Don't avoid talking about her and sharing memories.

She will always be with you. Always.
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