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Message
re: I'm angry that my sister is dead.
Posted on 3/6/23 at 11:59 pm to ColdTurkey
Posted on 3/6/23 at 11:59 pm to ColdTurkey
I’ve only read OP post and nothing on pages afterward…
Best wishes for you. All prayers given up too, although I don’t personally pray myself.
I’ve dealt with a lot of shite and painful losses in past 2 years as well. Probably worst is my best friend’s younger brother who was like my own little brother. I know what you’re feeling. There’s other posters on here who know exactly what you’re going through.
Life is cool, and it also sucks. Hope you can battle through this pain. If you need help, hopefully there’s others here who can help you out if needed, myself included… best wishes brother
Best wishes for you. All prayers given up too, although I don’t personally pray myself.
I’ve dealt with a lot of shite and painful losses in past 2 years as well. Probably worst is my best friend’s younger brother who was like my own little brother. I know what you’re feeling. There’s other posters on here who know exactly what you’re going through.
Life is cool, and it also sucks. Hope you can battle through this pain. If you need help, hopefully there’s others here who can help you out if needed, myself included… best wishes brother
This post was edited on 3/7/23 at 12:04 am
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Posted on 3/7/23 at 1:12 am to ColdTurkey
Bro, go see some help. I genuinely mean that. Call around therapists until you find someone who will take you.
It will help as it helped me.
It will help as it helped me.
Posted on 3/7/23 at 1:28 am to ColdTurkey
Know that things will get better in time. Absolutely seek help from a professional and don't let anything get in the way of your getting the help that you need. Good luck and Godspeed.
Posted on 3/7/23 at 4:55 am to dukke v
quote:
If you have a close friend seek them out and let it all out and stay with them for a bit if you can.
I stayed with a buddy last night and honestly wished I'd gotten a hotel. I didn't sleep again last night because I got the shite bit outta my back by a mouse or rat and kept hearing mice tonight. I'm going to the hospital today. My vision sucks so bad and I can't talk that great to carry on a conversation without looking like I've lost my damn mind. And Chick, okay I figure you'll be up soon enough
Posted on 3/7/23 at 5:28 am to ColdTurkey
Sorry, for your loss. Lost my brother 5 years ago. It was very difficult to deal with for a while. Give yourself time, and find a qualified grief counselor that you trust.
Posted on 3/7/23 at 6:12 am to ColdTurkey
So sorry for your loss, I can't imagine losing one of my siblings. I'd be wrecked.
Go talk to someone, talk to multiple someones, a group and a greif counselor, just like you're telling the OT now. It's therapeutic.
Try to exercise (I know that sounds kinda stupid).
Prayers and good luck to you.
Go talk to someone, talk to multiple someones, a group and a greif counselor, just like you're telling the OT now. It's therapeutic.
Try to exercise (I know that sounds kinda stupid).
Prayers and good luck to you.
Posted on 3/7/23 at 6:54 am to Hoops
quote:
frick you this isn’t the thread for your attention seeking
That dudes schtick is so old and annoying
Posted on 3/7/23 at 6:58 am to ColdTurkey
quote:
I stayed with a buddy last night and honestly wished I'd gotten a hotel. I didn't sleep again last night because I got the shite bit outta my back by a mouse or rat and kept hearing mice tonight.
This deserves its own thread
Posted on 3/7/23 at 7:02 am to ColdTurkey
Look for her in signs. She will show you. You have to look. Also, you will be with her again one fine day. Hold on to that.
Posted on 3/7/23 at 7:03 am to Mr. Hangover
Just when I thought he may have gotten to get some sleep and then the rat bite. Hell now I can't sleep. OP give us an update hopefully after you get some sleep. Prayers to you brother 
Posted on 3/7/23 at 7:07 am to ColdTurkey
Sorry for your loss. Haven't lost a sibling but I did lose a mother fairly young.
I get the anger and it is to be expected. I don't know your age but be careful not to let it define who you are.
As absolutely dumb as it sounds, face it. You will get better.
I pray you find peace.
I get the anger and it is to be expected. I don't know your age but be careful not to let it define who you are.
As absolutely dumb as it sounds, face it. You will get better.
I pray you find peace.
Posted on 3/7/23 at 8:22 am to ColdTurkey
quote:
don't know how to be patient and let time heal this shite when it's fricking destroying everything
you confess you don't have the emotional or spiritual practice. learn those.
everything dies.
loved ones.
ones own body will eventually die, sooner or later. nightmare possibilities can precede death. I'd like a little advance notice but not months wracked with pain.
i recommend book Easy death. you can get a used paperback. reasonable.
in any case you need perspective.
love more. others. yourself. god at whom you are presently angry.
Christians have Satan upon whom to blame all bad from tornados to "the devil made me do it".
my advice.
love with deep feeling.
let it be ok to feel it all.
I'm a fan of body work in times of deep loss.
massage and especially
"Reichian breathwork" while the wound is fresh.
don't be saddled with this for years.
Posted on 3/7/23 at 8:29 am to Animal
quote:
Sorry for your loss. Haven't lost a sibling but I did lose a mother fairly young.
I'm sorry. I can't imagine losing my mom yet and she's not in good health at all at 58.
quote:
get the anger and it is to be expected. I don't know your age but be careful not to let it define who you are.
It's beginning to. I'm withdrawn from most of the people I talked to on an everyday basis before. I don't have the energy. I couldn't stay focused watching Bullet Train with my buddy last night and he kept saying aww'd you see that?! And I'd look up and feel like such an arse. But he and his wife are two of my best friends and they know what's gone on. He lost one of his brothers 3 years ago.
Posted on 3/7/23 at 8:45 am to ColdTurkey
I do not pretend to know what you are experiencing right now, but the more time you spend with friends and family talking about things, the better. Remember that friends and family love you and care about you. Try not to be reclusive. Do some type of physical activity. You don’t have to forget about your sister or what happened.
Posted on 3/7/23 at 9:05 am to ColdTurkey
(no message)
This post was edited on 3/18/23 at 8:52 am
Posted on 3/7/23 at 9:13 am to ColdTurkey
Harsh reality-Life goes on
Posted on 3/7/23 at 9:29 am to ColdTurkey
I went thru a serious "nothing matters" phase when my dad died. I felt it was disrespectful to learn to let go of the pain because that's a conscious decision to start forgetting him. When we survive others, you don't WANT to let go because it is the beginning of erasure in many of the meaningful ways a person is good to you while they are still alive. It's really hard to articulate this point properly and know you'll understand me when I say it... and I never really consciously decided i was done hurting. The good news is that time itself will do what it has to do for your subconscious to make sense of it all and be at peace about it.
So my advice is just to do whatever you have to do, within reason, to distract yourself in the current. That helps a tremendous amount. Any distraction. Your brain will eventually work out the rest. Take time to consciously lament and hurt as hard as you want, but keep that part shorter. Try to stay as busy and distracted as you can. Time is healing. Go have beer with some friends even if you don't drink beer. Go to a ballgame. Go fish... go do whatever. Just don't sit around and do nothing.
So my advice is just to do whatever you have to do, within reason, to distract yourself in the current. That helps a tremendous amount. Any distraction. Your brain will eventually work out the rest. Take time to consciously lament and hurt as hard as you want, but keep that part shorter. Try to stay as busy and distracted as you can. Time is healing. Go have beer with some friends even if you don't drink beer. Go to a ballgame. Go fish... go do whatever. Just don't sit around and do nothing.
This post was edited on 3/7/23 at 9:31 am
Posted on 3/7/23 at 11:45 am to ColdTurkey
Sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and your family.
Posted on 3/7/23 at 11:52 am to ColdTurkey
quote:
I'm angry that my sister is dead.
I went through your exact situation when my mom died from an aneurysm. She was probably the best person I will ever encounter, so full of life.
That was several years ago, but I get angry when I hear of horrible people surviving aneurysms when my mom, who was loved by everyone, didn't.
What it boils down to is life isn't fair, and sometimes it rains shite on people who don't deserve it. It gets easier once you try to make sense of it.
OP you need to talk to someone. Telehealth may be an option for you.
Posted on 3/7/23 at 11:57 am to ColdTurkey
1ST OFF- sorry and prayers for you and your family. I lost my sister when she was only 18 to a freak accident, so I can empathize.
Have you allowed yourself to grieve? I remember basically walking around holding it together for my brother and parents. I felt like as oldest I had the responsibility to "be strong" for everyone and put my own grieving aside. I don't regret doing that for them, but it took a bad toll on me mentally and physically, and it took a long tome to get past it to an extent.
If you're religious - pray on it and ask for strength.
Above all, talk to someone. It's okay to have whatever emotions you're having - it's all a natural part of grieving. That said, allow yourself to grieve. Don't avoid talking about her and sharing memories.
She will always be with you. Always.
Have you allowed yourself to grieve? I remember basically walking around holding it together for my brother and parents. I felt like as oldest I had the responsibility to "be strong" for everyone and put my own grieving aside. I don't regret doing that for them, but it took a bad toll on me mentally and physically, and it took a long tome to get past it to an extent.
If you're religious - pray on it and ask for strength.
Above all, talk to someone. It's okay to have whatever emotions you're having - it's all a natural part of grieving. That said, allow yourself to grieve. Don't avoid talking about her and sharing memories.
She will always be with you. Always.
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