re: I'm angry that my sister is dead.

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Where would he go if he cannot afford a therapist?

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I would start with clergy.

Just wanted to update yall, I'm getting set up with a psych doctor in Monroe, hopefully today or in the next week I'll be able to sleep until they write something for sleep because the nerve endings on my skin feel like they're numb? Best way I can describe it. I'm irritable and tired of snapping at people I love over them asking a simple question because I'm on edge. If my brain had an off or pause button it'd make this situation a lot easier. Still worried they'll admit me to a psych hospital, but maybe thats what would be best because I'm not doing great dealing with it alone. I hope yall have an awesome weekend and if you have a sister, please tell her you love her. I wish more than anything I could tell mine one last time. Love yall

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I wish more than anything I could tell mine one last time.

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My Aunt lost her husband at a young age, when I lost my Grandpa (different side of family) I told her the hardest part would be not talking to him daily
She told me that just because he wasn’t there didn’t mean I couldn’t talk to him
That helped me a great deal, it may help you to verbalize things

I hope you are able to find peace

Sorry to hear

If helps, try…
Get some rigorous exercise today
Sunlight
Hydrate
Take OtC sleep aid

Best to you. May she RIP.

Took me 3 years to fully grieve when my mom passed, 3 miserable years that nearly killed me.

Don’t wait to get help like I did… you do not have to turn in your man card to go see a therapist… in fact it takes a real man to ask for help.

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I'm angry that my sister is dead.
I dont know how to miss her less or cope. I'm angry that I can't sleep no matter what I do. I don't know how many days it is now. I can't focus and I'm scared to go to a hospital and get look at like I'm crazy, then deal with whatever they choose to do. I'm thinking about staying at a hotel tonight just to get away. I don't get how people with chronic insomnia deal with it at all. This shite is horrible.

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All of this makes perfect sense and is normal. You might benefit from guided work with psychedelics.

Be angry.

Find an outlet.

Talk to someone when you are ready.

It might get worse before it gets better. Hang on... ride it through... and it WILL get better.

Ok. Let me get this straight.
You are 29, take care of your disabled Mom and recently lost your sister, unexpectedly.
Well F me.
I am 62 and know that would be a heavy burden on someone like myself.
Just understand you are not alone and the fact that you are taking care of your Mom makes you a really good person.
Take care of yourself now and please keep us updated.

Sounds like you've been through about 5 lifetimes worth of grief. You are a VERY strong person for that alone. Until you get in to talk to somebody - Make sure you take care of the basics - Eat food and drink water. Put your headphones in and listen to something you enjoy (perhaps something you and your sister enjoyed). Music puts me in a headspace to relax. If you are exhausted - Movies and TV may be more difficult bc your eyes are tired. Get yourself a notebook and a pen/pencil. Start writing out whatever is on your mind. You can burn it, shred it... whatever you want later. For now - Since it seems you don't have somebody you feel you can talk to yet - You just need to start expressing your feelings and getting them out into the universe. If you are in any way like me - That will help and sleep will come.

PTSD is serious shite. Try click therapy. You can find click posts on YouTube. Find a speed you’re comfortable with, close your eyes, and think about what is bothering you. This is not a “one and done” solution, it’s like melting an iceberg. But if you stick with it you will feel better.

I’m not a big believer in SSRI’s, but if you take Remeron, you will sleep. It may do nothing for PTSD, it may take edge off. But you will sleep.

Ashwaghanda and Vit D

Click therapy