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Self-esteem & the “Crisis of the Young”
Posted on 7/4/26 at 9:54 pm
Posted on 7/4/26 at 9:54 pm
Ok finally started reading *Denial of Death* today. Ya know, just some light poolside reading. I read both prefaces, the introduction and the first few chapters. Lots of foreplay for this book.
So far parts of it are really resonating while some parts are questionable. I’m not well-versed in psychology or influential psychologists so the hype about Otto Rank doesn’t really land for me.
Re: self-esteem. Becker's ideas here really help explain the human desire/need to “other” people and stratify everything. It helps us feel "better than." It helps us earn self-esteem because at least we aren’t defective like "them." Politicians 100% exploit this desire for popularity and power.
The idea that humans spend their lives trying to earn their self-esteem definitely tracks. Seems like some prominent leaders really embody this. The author refers to people who accumulate notes in their bank accounts to prove their life matters, and I definitely agree that the insatiable desire for more wealth seems deeper than just wanting money or security.
Since money is just an idea or an agreement, why or how have humans been able to convince ourselves that wealth gives (or could give) our lives purpose. I’m only a few chapters in so maybe he explains this later. Or, connecting this to that thread about property rights, maybe the obsession with wealth has to do with a desire to assist and extend ourselves through our descendants.
In the Introduction, Becker mentions the "Crisis of the Young," arguing that youth in the late 60s/early 70s were dropping out of social expectations (like college or practicing a religion) because they realized society deprives them of a chance to be find dignified meaning.
Given that this was published in 1973, it makes me wonder if this same existential framework help explain modern phenomena like the male loneliness epidemic or the increasing prevalence of childlessness by choice in the West? If the traditional sources of self-esteem feel fake or rigged, people just opt out.
I’m really curious to hear NC_Tigah’s thoughts or takeaways since I think he’s read it.
So far parts of it are really resonating while some parts are questionable. I’m not well-versed in psychology or influential psychologists so the hype about Otto Rank doesn’t really land for me.
Re: self-esteem. Becker's ideas here really help explain the human desire/need to “other” people and stratify everything. It helps us feel "better than." It helps us earn self-esteem because at least we aren’t defective like "them." Politicians 100% exploit this desire for popularity and power.
The idea that humans spend their lives trying to earn their self-esteem definitely tracks. Seems like some prominent leaders really embody this. The author refers to people who accumulate notes in their bank accounts to prove their life matters, and I definitely agree that the insatiable desire for more wealth seems deeper than just wanting money or security.
Since money is just an idea or an agreement, why or how have humans been able to convince ourselves that wealth gives (or could give) our lives purpose. I’m only a few chapters in so maybe he explains this later. Or, connecting this to that thread about property rights, maybe the obsession with wealth has to do with a desire to assist and extend ourselves through our descendants.
In the Introduction, Becker mentions the "Crisis of the Young," arguing that youth in the late 60s/early 70s were dropping out of social expectations (like college or practicing a religion) because they realized society deprives them of a chance to be find dignified meaning.
Given that this was published in 1973, it makes me wonder if this same existential framework help explain modern phenomena like the male loneliness epidemic or the increasing prevalence of childlessness by choice in the West? If the traditional sources of self-esteem feel fake or rigged, people just opt out.
I’m really curious to hear NC_Tigah’s thoughts or takeaways since I think he’s read it.
23
Posted on 7/4/26 at 10:01 pm to 4cubbies
quote:
Ok finally started reading *Denial of Death* today
Book Board. GTFO.
Posted on 7/4/26 at 10:10 pm to 4cubbies
quote:
In the Introduction, Becker mentions the "Crisis of the Young," arguing that youth in the late 60s/early 70s were dropping out of social expectations (like college or practicing a religion) because they realized society deprives them of a chance to be find dignified meaning.
Animal Farm.
They just created their own infrastructure for finding "dignified meaning" that turned out to be as substantially bankrupt as anything that came before them. Which is why by the mid-80s, that same age group was who was implementing leveraged buyouts and being corporate raiders instead of starting communes and being hippies.
They figured out What Solomon wrote thousands of years ago. There is nothing new under the sun, and it's all meaningless. Except for one thing. To fear God and keep His commandment. And they mostly didn't want to do that, so might as well play the "the one who dies with the most toys wins" game.
It's a tale as old as the Garden.
Society will not give anyone meaning. Regardless of what that society looks like.
Only God.
This post was edited on 7/4/26 at 10:10 pm
Posted on 7/4/26 at 10:28 pm to 4cubbies
Dear Bookface,
Posted on 7/4/26 at 10:50 pm to 4cubbies
quote:
I definitely agree that the insatiable desire for more wealth seems deeper than just wanting money or security.
I didn’t read the book but would like to comment on the above.
I think the focus on wealth is misplaced and comes from an “inequality” perspective where wealth is often the measure. Some people just have personality traits that make them hyper industrious. There are plenty of people like this who are successful but not overly wealthy.
Others who direct these traits in a field that can produce wealth (tech or finance recently) become ridiculously wealthy. But I believe their motivator isn’t to make more money, the money is a by product. Maybe it’s the drive to keep working, being hyper competitive or to have power…but I don’t think it’s wealth. They continue to work, innovate and garner more power (and wealth) because that’s all they know or want to do.
Posted on 7/4/26 at 10:59 pm to 4cubbies
Wealth is important because it provides access. It doesn’t generate happiness per se, but it provides structure and opportunities that lift you out of the stress of pure survival mode.
If you’ve ever experienced poverty as well as a comfortable living, like I have, you’ll take the latter any day if you’re basic emotional needs are met.
If you’ve ever experienced poverty as well as a comfortable living, like I have, you’ll take the latter any day if you’re basic emotional needs are met.
This post was edited on 7/4/26 at 11:02 pm
Posted on 7/4/26 at 11:09 pm to 4cubbies
quote:
the increasing prevalence of childlessness by choice in the West?
That would be your modern feminism at work, sweetums.
Well, that and, of course, your hero LBJ and his “great” society ushering in the modern welfare state by convincing the poor they don’t need no man, just daddy govt.
Posted on 7/4/26 at 11:17 pm to 4cubbies
quote:
Self-esteem & the “Crisis of the Young”
Cubbies, you want to dig into the psyche of the young? Why don’t you start by contrasting the Greatest generation, Boomers, and Gen X and our culture of competition growing up and our love of achievement and capitalism vs the Millennials and Gen Z and their participation trophy, everyone’s a winner, no one keeps score generation and their love of socialism.
Posted on 7/5/26 at 12:39 am to Placekicker
quote:
Cubbies, you want to dig into the psyche of the young?
Intense irony using a book about the boomers to try to understand the young as if they were boomers.
Not understanding how badly the boomer focus on self gratification and "meaning" completely screwed up the following generations.
The 1970s were an ode to the worship of self, we all are children of those decisions to seek new meaning.
Posted on 7/5/26 at 1:02 am to 4cubbies
It’s all about Power, Cubs. Please allow me to throw some random food for thought, ’mud on the wall’.
Power/Energy is a transformative force for change. For Humans, power applied towards survival of the body, first, and then power towards prosperity in “the pursuit of happiness “ thereafter. One can never get enough power. Albeit power is good or bad depending on the results of its application.
Happiness can be realized in a lot of things to a lot of people, but it is essentially a Feeling. Feeling is the essence of Being. Self Awareness is a complex cognitive form of Feeling. The awareness of Self, alone, creates an instinctual feeling of loneliness and incompleteness, such being the opposite of Love/Unity. As Spiritual Beings instinctively know ‘something is missing’ or hidden. Unrealized.
Redfield’s assertion that Love is a form of basic energy which Spiritually-based Humans require for said completeness and “happiness”, comes into play. Love is Unity; a satisfying Feeling of completeness. ‘Attention’ - the relative ‘measure’ of love - is or can be a counterfeit form of love; and “self esteem” being self ‘love’, can be a feeling based, end run around the demanding hoops required to attain real love. In relation to our own Kind, first, and all of that which is. Such being God and Creation.
The whole world may have loved Elvis and lent massive attention to him, yet the counterfeit attention was powerless in place of real love’s satisfying feeling. At that level who knows. Only God.
Today’s “virtue signaling” epidemic is an attempt to employ “self esteem” (self respect/love) as a means to implementing transformative power towards satisfying the vacuum of Love’s absence in the individual. As the supposed virtue of serving love, creates a feeling (counterfeit?) of being loved by one’s peers. This is the Spiritual dynamic that got Lucifer booted from Heaven. And it will be the principle upon which a loveless “Angel of Light” AntiChrist appears as a Global Leader. IMO. But I’m fuzzy. And done for the day.
Good luck.
Power/Energy is a transformative force for change. For Humans, power applied towards survival of the body, first, and then power towards prosperity in “the pursuit of happiness “ thereafter. One can never get enough power. Albeit power is good or bad depending on the results of its application.
Happiness can be realized in a lot of things to a lot of people, but it is essentially a Feeling. Feeling is the essence of Being. Self Awareness is a complex cognitive form of Feeling. The awareness of Self, alone, creates an instinctual feeling of loneliness and incompleteness, such being the opposite of Love/Unity. As Spiritual Beings instinctively know ‘something is missing’ or hidden. Unrealized.
Redfield’s assertion that Love is a form of basic energy which Spiritually-based Humans require for said completeness and “happiness”, comes into play. Love is Unity; a satisfying Feeling of completeness. ‘Attention’ - the relative ‘measure’ of love - is or can be a counterfeit form of love; and “self esteem” being self ‘love’, can be a feeling based, end run around the demanding hoops required to attain real love. In relation to our own Kind, first, and all of that which is. Such being God and Creation.
The whole world may have loved Elvis and lent massive attention to him, yet the counterfeit attention was powerless in place of real love’s satisfying feeling. At that level who knows. Only God.
Today’s “virtue signaling” epidemic is an attempt to employ “self esteem” (self respect/love) as a means to implementing transformative power towards satisfying the vacuum of Love’s absence in the individual. As the supposed virtue of serving love, creates a feeling (counterfeit?) of being loved by one’s peers. This is the Spiritual dynamic that got Lucifer booted from Heaven. And it will be the principle upon which a loveless “Angel of Light” AntiChrist appears as a Global Leader. IMO. But I’m fuzzy. And done for the day.
Good luck.
Posted on 7/5/26 at 7:48 am to wackatimesthree
quote:
They just created their own infrastructure for finding "dignified meaning" that turned out to be as substantially bankrupt as anything that came before them.
Yeah. And the anti-materialism people get pissed that they don’t have material and want your tax dollars to buy it for them.
It’s pretty hilarious.
Posted on 7/5/26 at 7:56 am to 4cubbies
I’m sorry your life has no meaning. Well, actually, no I’m not.
Posted on 7/5/26 at 7:58 am to the808bass
quote:
And the anti-materialism people get pissed that they don’t have material and want your tax dollars to buy it for them.
Yep.
Just like you said, they don't want money (their self-image is all tied up in being above having money, which they always equate with "being greedy," and being morally bad), but they want other people who do have money to provide for them.
Those people are the most conflicted and confused of all.
To think that earning your way in the world is bad, but confiscating what someone else earned to pay for yourself is good really is 'effed up.
Of course, they blame it all on "the system."
Posted on 7/5/26 at 7:59 am to 4cubbies
I've been saying this for at least a decade, that social media has destroyed this country. The whole concept of "influencer" actually being a job and people making millions off of it baffles me. Why anyone would put their "self worth" based upon the number of "likes" on a social media platform is crazy, especially since there are so many bots and AI out there that blow up numbers one way or the other.
Nothing is genuine except yourself.
Nothing is genuine except yourself.
Posted on 7/5/26 at 8:04 am to RCDfan1950
quote:
One can never get enough power.
What is the driving force behind the pursuit of power though? Legacy. The need to leave a mark on the world and prove one’s existence mattered.
quote:people who engage in virtue signaling have no self-esteem? I can see that.
Today’s “virtue signaling” epidemic is an attempt to employ “self esteem” (self respect/love) as a means to implementing transformative power towards satisfying the vacuum of Love’s absence in the individual.
I always enjoy reading your musings
Posted on 7/5/26 at 8:07 am to 4cubbies
quote:
I always enjoy reading your musings
RCDfan1950, Watch out, dude.
NCTiger didn't fall for the flirting this time in the OP, so she's turning it on you.
This post was edited on 7/5/26 at 8:08 am
Posted on 7/5/26 at 8:07 am to 4cubbies
Becker’s great insight seems to be that man cannot live without an immortality project. I think that’s valid, Cubbies.
My suspicion is that the crisis of modernity isn’t that people have discovered the old sources of meaning were fraudulent; it’s that we’ve systematically destroyed the institutions that allowed ordinary people to feel that their lives mattered.
The need for significance remains. The tragedy is that people now seek immortality through followers, politics, wealth, and identity rather than through family, faith, community, and posterity. Those are the things that give us meaning. That’s why you and I will wish our neighbors peace at Mass this morning and have a renewed sense of community and meaning . Love ya, Lil sis, Enjoy your beautiful family today!
My suspicion is that the crisis of modernity isn’t that people have discovered the old sources of meaning were fraudulent; it’s that we’ve systematically destroyed the institutions that allowed ordinary people to feel that their lives mattered.
The need for significance remains. The tragedy is that people now seek immortality through followers, politics, wealth, and identity rather than through family, faith, community, and posterity. Those are the things that give us meaning. That’s why you and I will wish our neighbors peace at Mass this morning and have a renewed sense of community and meaning . Love ya, Lil sis, Enjoy your beautiful family today!
Posted on 7/5/26 at 8:09 am to SquatchDawg
quote:
Others who direct these traits in a field that can produce wealth (tech or finance recently) become ridiculously wealthy. But I believe their motivator isn’t to make more money, the money is a by product. Maybe it’s the drive to keep working, being hyper competitive or to have power…but I don’t think it’s wealth. They continue to work, innovate and garner more power (and wealth) because that’s all they know or want to do.
They’re chasing self-esteem and meaning.
Posted on 7/5/26 at 8:14 am to 4cubbies
You’d love to have more power, Cubs, because you believe that you could do more good towards your altruistic enterprise. Jesus inspired, I assume.
Of course, like one of my favorite musicians (Raul Mali/The Mavericks ) laments in one of his best songs “you lose one every now and then” (“Born to be Blue”) mercy sometimes fails.
Of course, like one of my favorite musicians (Raul Mali/The Mavericks ) laments in one of his best songs “you lose one every now and then” (“Born to be Blue”) mercy sometimes fails.
Posted on 7/5/26 at 8:21 am to Lsupimp
quote:
it’s that we’ve systematically destroyed the institutions that allowed ordinary people to feel that their lives mattered.
Joining the military, being the provider for one’s family, civic engagement… I agree.
quote:America’s focus on “rugged individualism” sort of combats our need for meaning. We make meaning through service and community, not winning. We built a whole country on the pursuit of lonely misery.
The need for significance remains. The tragedy is that people now seek immortality through followers, politics, wealth, and identity rather than through family, faith, community, and posterity. Those are the things that give us meaning.
quote:
Enjoy your beautiful family today!
my in-laws took the older kids to Texico so my husband and I have been spoiling the baby. It’s been so quiet! 
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