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Number of Posts:14349
Registered on:10/10/2019
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quote:

It seems like everything could be attributed to seeking validation, but sometimes perceived validation is actually profoundly invalidating.


Sometimes you swing and miss.

But you still swing.

And missing usually means that you start swinging harder to compensate.

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This is probably the paragraph in the book that has resonated most with me so far and it touches on exactly the tension I’m discussing.

I could write a dissertation on why this passage resonated so deeply with me, how perfectly it captures my experience of being a woman, and why I think the underlying existential tension extends far beyond sexual relationships.


For some reason (actually, likely due to feminism) a myth exists that only men primarily respond to physical or social cues driven by reproductive drive, but that data doesn't support that.

Women overwhelmingly choose men who are taller than they are and make more money than they do. That's the same thing as choosing women who have big breasts, and for the same reason. Men's biological reproductive imperative is quantity, women's is security.

Both sexes do that same thing.
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Education comprising the least lucrative paths one could take. Unbelievable.


Why is it unbelievable?

The fact is that teaching regular, average students is not that hard, provided that your students have parents who support their learning.

Case in point, the Amish middle school girls teach the younger elementary students and those kids consistently score at the top of the standardized tests in those states.

On the other hand, students whose parents do not value or support education are relatively unteachable no matter what you do, so the quality of the teacher is largely irrelevant to them as well.

Teachers of average students in an American society that has bought into public, universal, mass compulsory education are basically babysitters.

There are exceptions for teachers teaching AP or advanced classes, but again, the teacher doesn't have to be an exceptional teacher, just competent, because the students are motivated. They need to be well versed in the subject matter, but they don't need to be great at teaching it. Just competent.

Teaching is not worth much because the skills set required to perform adequately in that context is abundant.
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What's truly incredible is that no one has ever pretended they didn't know this. Ever. Not once.


No, what's truly incredible is that you act as though teachers don't CONSTANTLY demand higher pay even though they work part time jobs and studies indicate that they are no more likely to take work home than their private sector counterparts in middle management.
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Nope, just true.


Truly stupid.

If Biden had done the same things you would have cried like a bitch.

You know it, I know it, and everybody on this board knows it.
quote:

You are the female version of SFP


Maybe literally.

:lol:
quote:

Eh, you might want to pump the brakes there. Like them or not Trump's crew can make money without government graft (which they are certainly doing) and are generally competent. Biden's crew couldn't run a 7/11.


In context, though, that's not a good thing.

Like C.S. Lewis said, a cow can only be so evil. It's mental and spiritual capacity limits how much moral damage it can do.

Trump tried to get the DOJ to bully the IRS into agreeing to a deal that would exempt his entire family from all IRS scrutiny, ostensibly forever.

They eventually killed the deal, but the sheer balls of trying that in the first place is light years past any corruption that Biden could have conceived or would have dared.

Pardons have been a part of presidential powers forever, and Biden was far from the first to abuse that power. Using the DOJ to lean on the IRS for what essentially amounted to blanket, indefinite immunity for him and his family is a more sophisticated and brazen—if not more morally bereft—abuse of Ruling Class privilege.

Sure, the Bidens are small time hoods robbing liquor stores while Trump is a competent, accomplished, and successful businessman who is smart enough to stay on the grey side of the line between black and white. One deals in strictly small time shite while the other makes deals worth billions.

But that's the point.



quote:

Yes, he definitely isn't.


So your post was what I suspected. A deliberate gaslight to avoid saying something obviously stupid.

Thanks for finally manning up and just saying the stupid thing. Now we don't have to waste any more time on it.
quote:

The poster is seeking stimulation, connection, competition, conflict,


Which ultimately resolves into a validation of some kind.

"I won the competition, therefore I am worthy."

"I was able to make a connection, therefore I am worthy."

That just describes the nature of the validation.

This is one of those times I feel like I'm repeating the same thing over and over again failing to move the needle of the conversation, but also not knowing how else to say it.

I asked Google, "Is everything we do ultimately a strategy for validation?"

Google AI answer below:

quote:

It is a deep question. Ultimately, every human action can be tied to a core psychological need for validation.

We seek to validate our existence, our worth, and our place in the world.

However, "validation" means more than just fishing for compliments.

It is about understanding reality and maintaining a secure sense of self.

It breaks down into two main areas:

1. Social Validation. As human beings, we are wired to connect. Seeking external validation is often a basic drive to belong.

Social survival: When early humans cooperated, they survived. When they were rejected from a tribe, they died. Our brains still treat social approval as a reward. This reward is called dopamine.

Real-world example: Getting a degree, posting on social media, or buying a new car. These actions show others we are capable, which earns us respect and security.

2. Internal Validation. We also do things to validate ourselves. This means proving we are competent, safe, and true to our own values.

Self-discovery: We do hard things or make art to prove we are capable. This builds our confidence and helps us trust our own judgment.Real-world example: Practicing a sport, finishing a puzzle, or keeping a promise. These actions validate our self-image.


Maybe Google AI will help. What I just quoted above is what I think, what I've been trying to communicate.

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And you were stupid enough to invest?


Can you please remove the Auburn logo from your profile?

I hate to think that other people conclude that all Auburn people are so dumb.
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It worked so well the first 20 times we did it. Surely they will learn their lesson this time.


Since we have so many viable alternatives I guess we'd better pick from that vast array instead.
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External validation?


If it was only internal, why bother to post? You think what you think and if you (royal you) didn't care what anyone else thought, you'd just think it to yourself, right?

quote:

Do you think posters who are routinely heavily downvoted are seeking external validation?


Yeah. I am one of those posters roughly half the time.

This board is very predictable. I know what opinions will get downvoted and which ones will be upvoted.

My wife recently decided to put color in her hair and I asked her after Sunday if anyone had commented on it. She said she only talked to a couple of women after church, but they seemed to be deliberately avoiding saying anything about it (silently judging, mentally downvoting, as it were).

I told her that was a positive response. Given the taste of those two, if they had liked it and told her so, it probably wouldn't have been a look she really wanted to have.

And so it is with the downvotes I get here. It's still validation.

If I got nothing but upvotes here I'd worry that I had joined the MAGA cult. Every downvote I get is a reminder that I'm not in that cult.
quote:

Both sides do it.


Sure they do.

It wouldn't be allowed to continue if only one side did it.
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James was Christ's brother and an apostle... do you disagree with what he said?


I don't. But I interpret it in proper context.

For example, what good works did the thief on the cross do after he accepted Jesus as Lord?
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But I don't think there is anything out of the ordinary with that transaction in terms of other crypto offerings.


What's out of the ordinary is that Trump deregulated the industry while owning two companies that benefitted from the deregulation (that's what I meant by "investing" in them, not buying and selling coins), World Liberty Financial and CIC Digital LLC.

The first was created on September 16th, 2024 and the second was created on January 17th, 2025.

The "Strengthening American Leadership in Digital Financial Technology EO" was signed on January 23rd, 2025, three days after Trump was inaugurated. That executive order declared crypto to be a national priority (after Trump himself had criticized it for years as a haven for dirty money) and set federal policy and instructed agencies to begin changing regulations and relaxing enforcement. Which obviously increased traffic and therefore business for his two crypto companies. Just like if he had created a bunch of weed dispensaries and then signed an EO making weed legal according to federal law.

Anybody who is not dishonest will admit that Trump used the office of the presidency of the United States to profit on this.

Nobody has brought it to bear before a court that I am aware of, and I don't know whether it technically violates the Emoluments Clauses or not.

I do know that it very obviously is exactly the type of thing that MAGA claims it is vehemently opposed to. Whether it's legal or not.

quote:

You're suggesting two different motivators.


I don't think so. I think I'm suggesting one motivation with different aspects.

quote:

do you consciously seek validation through posting here?


I don't think about it all the time, no. But when I do it's obvious to me that for me and everybody else here, that's what's happening.
quote:

No, you could not possibly have come to this conclusion from what I stated.


Well, which part was I mistaken about?

See, if you deny that Trump is engaging in graft when he so obviously, blatantly, and unashamedly is, then it doesn't really matter much whether this was an example of it or not.

It's like the abortion supporter who tries to distract with incest and rape. She isn't any more against abortion purely for convenience sake than she is in the case of incest, but she throws out the incest to gaslight and to try to make the opposition look unreasonable.

So regardless of whether you said anything about it or not in the post in question, I'm asking you now: Do you deny that Trump is engaging in blatant graft?
quote:

These aren't grifts. Stupid people betting their life savings on stock or crypto isn't news.


I see.

So this was not an example of Trump's grifts, but you don't deny that he is engaging in them.

Is that correct?
quote:

There may be a case to be made, but it certainly has not been made in this thread


I don't think it requires a lot of heavy lifting to make a case in general. It's pretty obvious.

Now, I don't know anything about the specifics of this case and it might not be a valid example at all.

But when you slag bitcoins for years as being funny money for crooks, then heavily deregulate them—mostly unilaterally—then proceed to make a billion and a half investing in them inside of a year, I'm not sure what anyone can counter with as far as Trump having become a brazen grifter in general.

He knows the cult won't care. And they don't.

Now if Joe Biden had done it...Yowza.

quote:

Stopped reading.


So did everyone else who wants to refuse to acknowledge reality.

It's a pretty common human trait these days.
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Its infringement that needs to be stopped because everything is always abused.


This is the correct answer.
quote:

Bro has regurgitated all of the talking points that have literally zero impact on his day to day life


Maybe today.

But two things about that:

1. This country wasn't founded on the principle of, "Government overreach is o.k. as long as it doesn't seem to impact your daily life." That has never been our standard.

2. If you're going to deny that the potential for egregious abuse is there, regardless of whether you think it's being actively abused today, you're kind of a dullard, aren't you?