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re: Why do men become so non-social as they age?
Posted on 4/20/22 at 7:54 am to gumbo2176
Posted on 4/20/22 at 7:54 am to gumbo2176
quote:
Give it time. You're not old enough to really know what's going to transpire in your life in the next 25+ years.
You're basing your opinion on how you feel now. Believe me, that will change more likely than not.
Because there's no older people who have friends?
My grandpa passed away at 87 years old, he hung out with his friends daily until he was about 85 years old and his health no longer allowed this. He would go to a local convenience store every morning and have breakfast and coffee with one group of friends, go home and have lunch, and then he would go play cards with another group of friends in the afternoon. He was retired for over 30 years and stayed very social until the end.
3
Posted on 4/20/22 at 7:55 am to Epic Cajun
quote:right... me thinks there's a lot of coping in this thread
Because there's no older people who have friends?
My grandpa passed away at 87 years old, he hung out with his friends daily until he was about 85 years old and his health no longer allowed this. He would go to a local convenience store every morning and have breakfast and coffee with one group of friends, go home and have lunch, and then he would go play cards with another group of friends in the afternoon. He was retired for over 30 years and stayed very social until the end.
Posted on 4/20/22 at 7:57 am to GreatLakesTiger24
quote:
right... me thinks there's a lot of coping in this thread
Agreed, I know young people/couples who don't have friends, and old people/couples who are very social and have a ton of friends.
Posted on 4/20/22 at 7:57 am to GreatLakesTiger24
I'm getting close to 50 and for me it's not necessarily that I don't want to hang out with buddies its just that after my week at work I would just as soon be home enjoying some down time. People bring drama and I deal with that crap all day every day. Don't need it in my down time.
No better place to be than on the front deck of my bass boat on a Saturday morning. If one of my buddies comes, great. If not.... that's just as good to me.
No better place to be than on the front deck of my bass boat on a Saturday morning. If one of my buddies comes, great. If not.... that's just as good to me.
Posted on 4/20/22 at 8:06 am to Daygo85
Because you look like a fool out trying to pick up women when you are over 50. As Lord Byron said so eloquently many years ago: The days of your youth are the days of your glory.
Posted on 4/20/22 at 8:12 am to Daygo85
This thread is exactly why I come here and lurk. Great question and I loved reading the responses. Late 50's here and everything I would have said has already been said.
Going to forward to the ball and chain so maybe she can get a feel for why I don't really want to socialize anymore. Glad to know I am not alone feeling this way.
Going to forward to the ball and chain so maybe she can get a feel for why I don't really want to socialize anymore. Glad to know I am not alone feeling this way.
Posted on 4/20/22 at 8:21 am to Epic Cajun
quote:
Because there's no older people who have friends?
No. Most of the time people's lives wind up going in different directions as time passes. People who are friends now sometimes move away, die, have health issues that limit what they can and can't do, turn into needy or negative people who are constantly bringing you down, etc.
I'm not saying I don't have friends, just that the circle of people I consider friends has shrunk considerably over the years----some due to the above reasons, some due to me just weeding them out of my life if they become more of a PITA to deal with than I choose to----and trust me, that will happen.
I love to play darts, get out at least once a week to a local watering hole that has league teams playing out of it to play pick-up games against the league members and have a couple pints doing so. But, most of the time I'm home doing things around the house and enjoying time alone to do what I want, when I want.
Posted on 4/20/22 at 8:23 am to Daygo85
I’ve recognized over the last few years that I’ve become much less social, and rarely put myself into socialization opportunities. I’m trying to reverse that.
Drinking is a social lube, and I stopped that years ago, so it’s a new experience.
Posted on 4/20/22 at 9:55 am to TheHarahanian
The movie Stand By Me said it best. “You’ll never have friends like the ones you had when you were twelve.”
Posted on 4/20/22 at 10:25 am to Daygo85
Hah! I love when my wife (no pics) makes plans with friends and I can just chill at home. Definitely becoming more reclusive as I get older.
Posted on 4/20/22 at 11:01 am to Double Oh
quote:
Same here
You should really try weed.
Posted on 4/20/22 at 11:14 am to BOSCEAUX
quote:
The movie Stand By Me said it best. “You’ll never have friends like the ones you had when you were twelve.”
What's weird for me is my closest friends now (we all just turned or about to turn 50), which are like 4 of them, are ones that I have known since I was about 12. We kinda went different paths after high school and moved in different directions after college but we were all in each others weddings, have seen each others kids grow up, and still socialize as much as possible either hunting, fishing, watching Neville Tiger football, or golfing.
Posted on 4/20/22 at 11:14 am to Demshoes
quote:
Hah! I love when my wife (no pics) makes plans with friends and I can just chill at home. Definitely becoming more reclusive as I get older.
I too could have written this post. I'm retired and my wife still works since she is not of retirement age yet.
She's gone for work M-F from 7:45 a.m. until 5:30 p.m. and I take care of all the things needed around the house.
On weekends she will get together with her daughter or some lady friends to run here and there and I'm just fine with that if we don't have any plans.
She too is really looking forward to being retired so she can have a more relaxing lifestyle and not in the daily rat race, and I'm looking forward to her being home more.
Well, at least I think I am......
Posted on 4/20/22 at 11:22 am to gumbo2176
For me it went something like this:
Younger and ambitious-> want to meet people and conquer the world
Middle age-> Have financial success. Most people just want something from me. Hard to trust "new friends." Usually get a sales pitch in some form within 48hrs. Grumpiness begins.
Younger and ambitious-> want to meet people and conquer the world
Middle age-> Have financial success. Most people just want something from me. Hard to trust "new friends." Usually get a sales pitch in some form within 48hrs. Grumpiness begins.
Posted on 4/20/22 at 11:22 am to m2pro
quote:
We definitely do enjoy solitude, I think you meant, as we age.
We get tired of dealing with people's shite b/c it never changes. Easier to avoid people's shite by enjoying your peace away from them.
Fairly new to the 50 club here. Single with no kids. You preach the gospel.
Posted on 4/20/22 at 11:23 am to Legion of Doom
quote:
I confess. I’m about to turn 53 and I get more cranky as the years go by.
I turned 53 three weeks ago...and everyone on this board who thinks I'm cranky can go F*** themselves.
Posted on 4/20/22 at 12:41 pm to Daygo85
Good thread. Bookmarked.
Many great answers, personal observations and remarks.
OLDER FRIENDSHIPS /younger days (common convos and passions):
Sports. Women. Wives. Kids. Family. Meeting and sharing same with others. New experiences. Traveling. Still sharing life's dreams, glory & challenges and future.
NEW FRIENDSHIPS in later years:
Solid ones welcome. But getting in sync gets a lot tougher and more rare as we grow older.
Since most of the above is accomplished / achieved / over -- along with still actively monitoring mounting situations & responsibilities and personal interests, it seems many convos with "newer friends/later years" eventually turns to chatter over mutual health snafus. "Coulda-shoulda-woulda" regrets. Reassessments. Coping in a world increasingly FUBAR. (we can do all that in forums)
New friendships and social situations -- more of a burden at a time of life when we're trying to dial it all down? Could that be a factor for being less social as men age?
Many great answers, personal observations and remarks.
OLDER FRIENDSHIPS /younger days (common convos and passions):
Sports. Women. Wives. Kids. Family. Meeting and sharing same with others. New experiences. Traveling. Still sharing life's dreams, glory & challenges and future.
NEW FRIENDSHIPS in later years:
Solid ones welcome. But getting in sync gets a lot tougher and more rare as we grow older.
Since most of the above is accomplished / achieved / over -- along with still actively monitoring mounting situations & responsibilities and personal interests, it seems many convos with "newer friends/later years" eventually turns to chatter over mutual health snafus. "Coulda-shoulda-woulda" regrets. Reassessments. Coping in a world increasingly FUBAR. (we can do all that in forums)
New friendships and social situations -- more of a burden at a time of life when we're trying to dial it all down? Could that be a factor for being less social as men age?
Posted on 4/20/22 at 1:10 pm to Daygo85
I fell as if the quality of people has declined significantly in the past 20 years.
Posted on 4/20/22 at 1:15 pm to Daygo85
I enjoy peace and quiet
Posted on 4/20/22 at 1:22 pm to Epic Cajun
I have approx 15 friends I could tell anything and with whom I frequently speak (some once or more a day, some once a week, some every other month). 90% of friends I’ve known for 35+ years.
As one marries, has children & grows a business it becomes more difficult to jump at a moment and go offshore fishing, go camping, run to Central America, etc., as it must be run through committee.
I remain socially active, but find it difficult to engage in activities with friends as frequently or impetuously as I used to. Much of my social interaction has degraded to having a noon meals &/or a few post-work drinks after a few days a week.
I’d rather be on the boat, but live-in domestics have become expensive and difficult to find.
For reference: 45 years old.
As one marries, has children & grows a business it becomes more difficult to jump at a moment and go offshore fishing, go camping, run to Central America, etc., as it must be run through committee.
I remain socially active, but find it difficult to engage in activities with friends as frequently or impetuously as I used to. Much of my social interaction has degraded to having a noon meals &/or a few post-work drinks after a few days a week.
I’d rather be on the boat, but live-in domestics have become expensive and difficult to find.
For reference: 45 years old.
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