re: What have some of you done to help get over the pain of losing someone?

Really? When I’m experiencing grief over the loss of my parents who lived a full life and I look over at my friend who lost her 4 year old to a brain tumor - a funeral I attended with my 2 healthy children - you think it doesn’t change my perspective and the weight of my grief? Maybe not in a “Me, Me, Me!” world, but I don’t live there.

Did he have any hobbies that you could take up?
After I lost my grandmother I started tending to her flowerbeds & roses.

I personally don't believe you can ever Completely get over losing someone you love. I think we just learn to cope with the loss differently as time goes on. In fact, I think Willie Nelson said it best in his song Something You Get Through. "It's not something you get over, it's something you get through ".

You may be growing attached to your grief. We do that when we can’t bring ourselves to say goodbye. You have to give yourself permission to let him go and let yourself move on. Sounds like a Hallmark card but it’s true.

Dude. I lost my mother coming up on 7 years. It sucks today just as it did then..

Shes the best person I've ever known. I mean that sincerely. Period.

I also know she wouldnt want me to hang my head for years. She'd want me to be a great dad to the grandkids she didn't know. We talk about her like she's here, just a phone call away. That way you don't forget them. I've adopted some of her phrases and now I have the kids saying them

We watch her favorite Christmas movie every year. Eat the foods she liked.

Be the man she wanted to see me become but dementia ruined it.

Sadness is a condition of the living, not the passed. I fell she's pretty jam up where she's at and that I'll see her again. She visits me in my dreams from time to time to check in and ask about my dad and sister she worries about them still I feel.

Buck up man. You're breathing and you Uncle sure as shite would t want you being downtrodden on a website.

Go do some of his favorite shite. Have some laughs. Death is just a short breaj until you see em again. They're just at the end of your road trip.

Sleep well

I lost my mom last April. She was the kind of person that put her wants and needs behind all of her loved ones her entire life. I was the youngest so I lived with her the longest of my siblings, which happened to be for 27 years, until I got married. My parents divorced when I was 13, so we became “friends” once I became an adult. She was always a great mother, but it was cool to live with her as an adult and be mature enough to listen and learn some important lessons I would never have paid attention to as a teenager.
I still struggle with the fact that I didn’t cry “hard enough” when it happened, or anytime since. It’s been very confusing to me because I know how much I loved her, and I think about her ever day. What I mostly still struggle with is the fact that I watched her take her last breaths in the hospital and I can’t get that out of my head. That’s not the part of her life I want to remember, but it won’t go away.
I guess I’m not really offering you any advice (sorry) but mostly just venting because I don’t like to talk about my feelings in real life. But I do find myself reflecting on the good things she did in life and how well she treated others when I have time to myself. I think eventually both your thoughts, and my own, will start to focus on all of the positive experiences we had with our loved one and that will bring us comfort. We will always miss them, but that only illustrates how much they meant to us, and that’s a great tribute to them!

Do some volunteer work in his honor to keep you busy.

Grief counseling, whether solo or group. Support groups (can be friends, podcasts, etc). We were not meant to walk this earth alone with our problems.

EMDR

Listen to this with headphones and go through events leading to his death. You need to process it. This helps tremendously.