re: Trashy Brother in law troubles

invite him to the nearest sonic.

The BIL sounds immature and is trying to take advantage of the situation. Toddlers are a handful in general and maybe this one acts this way bc he’s around his immature father. Maybe you will be doing your niece or nephew a huge service by letting your MIL watch him IF the BIL gets a job. I love my nieces and nephews and if I can help by improving their lives I would. Also, it might benefit your son in learning social skills since he won’t be in daycare. Studies have shown babies learn to communicate sooner with other children around.
I would at least give it a chance once the BIL gets a job. Once he does I would insist they help by paying MIL as well. Either splitting the cost or paying the same amount since it is small. That being said... I think you and your wife should at least give it a shot once he has a job. To assume she couldn’t is wrong. She is more than likely capable.
Lastly, congrats on the son. You are very fortunate. Lost our baby and his due date was today.

A good honest way to be a man about this is to tell your BIL that you are knowingly being over protective parents and would now just like your MIL to watch your kid on its own for a couple of weeks, then you can reevaluate the situation.

I don't know exactly with the people involved, but most grandmothers should be able to handle a newborn and a toddler.

Seems to me there may be some other issues at play here besides the toddler.

Congrats on the kid and the 10-month ago sex.

Until they crawl, babies are incredibly easy to watch. You put them down and they are kind of stuck there until you move them. Occasionally you’ll have to pull a battery out of their wind pipe, or get the poop off of them. I don’t remember when crawling happens, but your MIL has at least a couple months to phase out the other little bastard while you repeatedly beat it’s dad until he learns to keep his mouth shut.

I have a 3 and a half and 2 year old... Was coming to say that until the kid really starts crawling its an absolute breeze to watch them. I dont mean to hurt your feelings, but caring for your child will not be any easier that it will be for the next 6-12 months.

We did the MIL/Mom route for our first until about 8 months. Second kid went to daycare at 12 weeks. Its better for the kids to go on to daycare. They really are more alert/socialized with being at daycare. Plus you ease into the immunity/sickness with the little ones. 2 year olds will be an onset of fevers and days at home.

To each is own, best advice I got was to not listen to anyone else and do what works. Do what feels best. And your BIL is a bitch.

5 on the trashy scale.

You should dress him down about his worthlessness in front of the family.

Let the MIL decide whether or not she can keep both. She might see this as a way to quit enabling your BIL to sit at home and play XBox while she raises his kid. If so, be the bad guy and let that come from you instead of from her. She will be endeared to you forever and you are the best scapegoat in that scenario. On the other hand, your MIL might be fully capable of keeping both. If you trust her with your newborn, you should trust her to determine the circumstances in which she can provide adequate care.

Many, many people take care of more than one child at a time everyday across this country. It seems you think that your child is so special that someone cant let it out of their sight for a couple minutes. I dont understand your entitlement here. If you dont think MIL is capable of handling more than one child at a time, then find a daycare or another babysitter.

This kind of entitlement and "my child is so special" attitude is the continued justification of this country.