Tonight I discovered an new level of pure unadulterated hell

I had to attend the graduation ceremony at a county school because a family friend was graduating. Due to chances of rain, the ceremony, originally scheduled to be held at the football field, was moved to the much smaller gym. We got there early, knowing seats would fill up fast, and ended up on the top row of bleachers close to the stage.

Of course the place started filling up fast. I notice this woman walking up the bleachers who appeared to be about 5’1 tall and, I’d say roughly 300 lbs at least, and that’s being generous. She was so fat she had a front arse. Accompanying this behemoth was a guy who looked borderline anorexic.

It was about this time I realized this couple was heading to sit directly in front of me. Apparently the people in the seats below ours were their family, so they sat with them. Within seconds of them taking their seats, the most horrific stench first assaulted my nostrils. This wasn’t simple BO. This was a level of funk that takes years to accumulate. I’m pretty sure it was coming from the extremely obese woman, as it was obvious there are substantial portions of her body she has no hope of reaching to clean.

It was relentless. And the worst part of it all is the gym was absolutely full by this point and there was still 40 minutes to go before the graduation even started. There was no way to escape the torment of the overwhelming stench emitting from the filthy, disgusting creature only inches in front of me.

I’ve smelt some extremely rancid things in my life, up to and including burning and rotting corpse. But this stench was as bad, or worse, than anything I’ve had the misfortune to smell. It was so bad I, along with my wife and daughter, restored to using pumpkin scented hand sanitizer my wife had in her purse to rub on our nostrils. It helped some, but her funk was far too powerful to completely beat down. I even resorted to lathering it onto my mustache in a vain attempt to escape this woman’s horrible stench.

We arrived there just after 6:00 PM, the disgusting behemoth arrived about 6:20 PM. It’s was a little after 8:00 when the ceremony finally ended and we were able to get away.

What I don’t understand is how in the hell does this woman not smell herself? Or, failing that, how does her family not smell her? At the least they could take her outside and hose her down before allowing her to go out in public.

(Sorry for the long rant, I just had to vent.)