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re: Tonight I discovered an new level of pure unadulterated hell

Posted on 5/21/26 at 10:12 pm to
Posted by WinnaSez
Jackson, MS
Member since Mar 2019
1460 posts
Posted on 5/21/26 at 10:12 pm to
quote:

behemoth was a guy who looked borderline anorexic.


The big ole fat pasty white girl with a skinny pasty white guy or sometimes a black guy of any size has become uncomfortably common in the South. She has at least three kids by at least 2 baby daddies before she’s 21.
Posted by Darth_Vader
A galaxy far, far away
Member since Dec 2011
74948 posts
Posted on 5/21/26 at 10:14 pm to
quote:

Did you make any eye contact with other attendees and secretly know exactly what they were thinking?

[quote]Imagine if people behind you, thought it was you!


The kid who graduated noticed me, my wife, and daughter were all sitting there with our hand over our nose during the ceremony.
Posted by Champagne
Sabine Free State.
Member since Oct 2007
56517 posts
Posted on 5/21/26 at 10:15 pm to
That sounds awful.

I would have left immediately - just tell my friend that I suddenly came down with explosive diahrrea.
Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
17816 posts
Posted on 5/21/26 at 10:20 pm to
quote:

She was so fat she had a front arse.

Your level of description in this post directly tracks with why your model desk is so excellent. It brings me back to sitting next to a Somali on a Winnipeg-MSP flight where I wanted to choke myself. Well done, sir.
Posted by fr33manator
Baton Rouge
Member since Oct 2010
135187 posts
Posted on 5/21/26 at 10:32 pm to
Funny, she went on Reddit and started a thread about how the guy building models behind her at graduation stank of pumpkins and airplane glue
Posted by Dtbtiger
Member since Oct 2024
315 posts
Posted on 5/21/26 at 10:37 pm to
quote:

I’ve smelt some extremely rancid things in my life, up to and including burning and rotting corpse. But this stench was as bad, or worse, than anything I’ve had the misfortune to smell
quote:

Due to chances of rain, the ceremony, originally scheduled to be held at the football field, was moved to the much smaller gym.


Sounds like you went to South Lafourches graduation and you were just smelling one of the old grandmaws who peeled an ice chest of shrimp earlier
Posted by SingleMalt1973
Member since Feb 2022
25705 posts
Posted on 5/21/26 at 10:37 pm to
quote:

I’ve smelt some extremely rancid things in my life, up to and including burning and rotting corpse.



Damn Baw,


Posted by LemmyLives
Texas
Member since Mar 2019
17816 posts
Posted on 5/21/26 at 10:56 pm to
quote:

extremely rancid things in my life, up to and including burning and rotting corpse.

Burning corpses are not as bad as live people that smell like it. They're mobile.
Posted by GatorPA84
PNW
Member since Sep 2016
6555 posts
Posted on 5/21/26 at 10:57 pm to
quote:

The kid who graduated noticed me, my wife, and daughter were all sitting there with our hand over our nose during the ceremony.



I’m sorry but I will not be going to a high school graduation for just a “family friend.” This better be immediate family or my own kids/grandkids.
Posted by LSU713Tiger
Houston, TX
Member since Nov 2012
266 posts
Posted on 5/21/26 at 11:01 pm to
I would have 100% bailed on the bleachers and just stood up the whole ceremony far away from stink bomb.

That is a lot to endure for a family friend graduation at a county school.
Posted by Rebel
Graceland
Member since Jan 2005
144853 posts
Posted on 5/21/26 at 11:13 pm to
You would still rub her feet.
Posted by Chad504boy
4 posts
Member since Feb 2005
180459 posts
Posted on 5/21/26 at 11:48 pm to
quote:

pumpkin scented hand sanitizer my wife had in her purse


That’s just disgusting. It’s fricking may. Pumpkin scented. Get a new wife.
Posted by Havoc
Member since Nov 2015
39665 posts
Posted on 5/22/26 at 12:12 am to
fricking wall of text.
Posted by Lou Loomis
A pond. Ponds good for you.
Member since Mar 2025
2231 posts
Posted on 5/22/26 at 12:13 am to
quote:

my mustache


You had my sympathy until this. She was probably as equally repulsed by your mustache. C’mon man, it’s not 1976, and you’re not Burt Reynolds.
Posted by sharkfhin
Water
Member since Sep 2008
6913 posts
Posted on 5/22/26 at 3:49 am to
quote:

She was so fat she had a front arse



quote:

I’ve smelt some extremely rancid things in my life, up to and including burning and rotting corpse
I'm so dead bro. I'm wiping my eyes
Posted by FAT SEXY
California
Member since Jun 2020
2667 posts
Posted on 5/22/26 at 3:53 am to
Fat people smell..

It's like sweat, sugar, poop and cooch juice fermented
This post was edited on 5/22/26 at 3:55 am
Posted by tigersownall
Thibodaux
Member since Sep 2011
17260 posts
Posted on 5/22/26 at 6:05 am to
I thought you were going to say her back fat was resting on your knees.
Posted by lourob
Lower LA
Member since Jun 2014
141 posts
Posted on 5/22/26 at 6:07 am to
First, Being a medical provider I'm sad to say that with the overwhelming percentage of obese men and women, that stench is something I have to encounter much more often than I'd like to admit.
Second, because of that awkwardly disgusting connection to your experience, I appreciated your rant that much more. Great read and excellent use of adjectives too by the way. You had me imagining the smell of swamp arse like I was right there beside you
Posted by Night Vision
33rd Level REC Member
Member since Feb 2018
25317 posts
Posted on 5/22/26 at 6:09 am to
Breathe through your mouth and not your nose.
Posted by Tempratt
Member since Oct 2013
15358 posts
Posted on 5/22/26 at 6:26 am to
quote:

how in the hell does this woman not smell herself?


I've wondered about that for years. They simply don't give a damn.
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