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Message
re: The hardest part of being a parent
Posted on 2/3/26 at 10:04 am to LSUweights
Posted on 2/3/26 at 10:04 am to LSUweights
I am so, so, so sorry. Such a heartbreaking thing to read this morning.
My wife and I had to bury twin boys just over 7 years ago. They were stillborn and still it was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do, and I don't think I'll ever not grieve them. I can't begin to fathom having a child for 3 years and losing them.
From my own experience as a grieving dad, go talk to someone. It's admirable to want to be the strong one for your wife and son, but you have to let it out; you can't be strong all of the time. The two things that I still remember from our therapist is that you empty yourself out being there for others and pouring out for them. You have to find someone or something to fill you back up. Secondly, you have to look at your friends and family as layers of an onion and realize that you can only take on the emotional support role for those innermost layers. As much as your parents, siblings, in-laws, etc. are also devastated, they can't expect, and you should not try, to be their primary emotional support person.
You and your family are in my prayers.
My wife and I had to bury twin boys just over 7 years ago. They were stillborn and still it was the most difficult thing I've ever had to do, and I don't think I'll ever not grieve them. I can't begin to fathom having a child for 3 years and losing them.
From my own experience as a grieving dad, go talk to someone. It's admirable to want to be the strong one for your wife and son, but you have to let it out; you can't be strong all of the time. The two things that I still remember from our therapist is that you empty yourself out being there for others and pouring out for them. You have to find someone or something to fill you back up. Secondly, you have to look at your friends and family as layers of an onion and realize that you can only take on the emotional support role for those innermost layers. As much as your parents, siblings, in-laws, etc. are also devastated, they can't expect, and you should not try, to be their primary emotional support person.
You and your family are in my prayers.
1
Posted on 2/3/26 at 10:05 am to LSUweights
My condolences OP. Stay strong. Your wife and kid needs ya.
Posted on 2/3/26 at 10:06 am to LSUweights
Prayers.
I have a 3 year old, 1 year old, and another on the way.
Don't know how I'd move on.
I have a 3 year old, 1 year old, and another on the way.
Don't know how I'd move on.
Posted on 2/3/26 at 10:06 am to LSUweights
quote:
I don't know what to do
I can't begin to imagine the loss. There are tears in my eyes for your daughter and for your family. I don't have any worlds of wisdom or experience, but I do know that it's okay to not know what to do. It's okay. There is no written script for this. Sending y'all my love.
Posted on 2/3/26 at 10:07 am to LSUweights
Praying for you and your family
Posted on 2/3/26 at 10:12 am to LSUweights
God be with you and your wife.
Posted on 2/3/26 at 10:35 am to LSUweights
Sorry to hear. A parent's greatest hurt is loss of a child. As a couple others have pointed out, I reiterate that you don't have to be stoic and strong to absorb the pain of other family. It is part of the human experience to have emotion. I have found it best in the long run to openly acknowledge with the family that you all miss having your child with you, and pray that healing grace be received by all.
Posted on 2/3/26 at 10:41 am to LSUweights
Deleting post: Only read the title, not the thread.
Condolences on your loss.
Condolences on your loss.
This post was edited on 2/3/26 at 10:44 am
Posted on 2/3/26 at 11:01 am to LSUweights
I cant imagine the grief. Your family will be in my prayers.
Perhaps you can find some peace in knowing your words have helped me find a renewed sense of profound gratitude for my family at a time that I needed it, and a commitment to do better about expressing it to them.
Perhaps you can find some peace in knowing your words have helped me find a renewed sense of profound gratitude for my family at a time that I needed it, and a commitment to do better about expressing it to them.
Posted on 2/3/26 at 11:03 am to LSUweights
I am so sorry for your loss. May the Lord welcome your little one and console your family. I don’t know what ‘being tough’ means, because I would be completely vulnerable with my family. I would let them know my emotions and grieve together. Sometimes being there for your family is to be vulnerable (but still functional). I hope you find your path.
Posted on 2/3/26 at 11:04 am to LSUweights
Trust God. Pray and meditate.
It’s crushing but stay diligent in your faith! You can do it!
It’s crushing but stay diligent in your faith! You can do it!
Posted on 2/3/26 at 11:07 am to LSUweights
I'm so very sorry. As a parent, I can't even fathom. Please talk to someone if you need. I will hold you and your family in our prayers.
Posted on 2/3/26 at 11:10 am to LSUweights
I like to think I am good with words, but posts like this deprive me of the ability to form an acceptable sentence. Anything I think of falls short of the proper way to express my sympathy.
I will pray for you, your family, and your daughter.
I will pray for you, your family, and your daughter.
Posted on 2/3/26 at 11:12 am to LSUweights
My prayers for you and your family. May the Lords peace envelope you.
From todays reading: @ Samuel 18: 33
"O My son Absalom, my son my son, Absalom! Would I had died instead of you. O Absalom my son, my son!"
A parents grief for losing a child no matter what the circumstances is a grief almost too great for our souls. Take refuge in the Lord, He will strengthen you and bear your burden with you.
From todays reading: @ Samuel 18: 33
"O My son Absalom, my son my son, Absalom! Would I had died instead of you. O Absalom my son, my son!"
A parents grief for losing a child no matter what the circumstances is a grief almost too great for our souls. Take refuge in the Lord, He will strengthen you and bear your burden with you.
Posted on 2/3/26 at 11:32 am to LSUweights
Simply cannot imagine. Don’t know what I would do. Nauseating to imagine the grief you are going through.
Posted on 2/3/26 at 11:47 am to LSUweights
so very sorry for you. Losing a child is a terrible thing. Be there for your wife and son.
Posted on 2/3/26 at 11:54 am to LSUweights
quote:
Trying to be the tough dad for my wife and 8 year old son
Allow yourself to grieve along with them, because this isn't something that will ever leave you. My brother lost his son at 4 years old over twenty years ago, and it's a loss we all feel still to this day.
Even though I have a 3 year old daughter myself now, seeing my brother go through that loss and being a pall bearer on such a small casket were heavy enough as an uncle that I put off having kids for nearly two decades.
You'll need your family as much as they need you, brother. It's okay to not be the tough guy.
Posted on 2/3/26 at 11:57 am to LSUweights
I am so sorry. That's heartbreaking. Will definitely be praying.
Posted on 2/3/26 at 11:58 am to LSUweights
I am so very sorry for your loss. Take care of yourself and your family. Do not let anyone dictate how your grief should look. Grief counseling can be a tremendous help. Let your wife see you vulnerable and lean on each other.
Posted on 2/3/26 at 11:58 am to PJinAtl
quote:
From my own experience as a grieving dad, go talk to someone. It's admirable to want to be the strong one for your wife and son, but you have to let it out; you can't be strong all of the time. The two things that I still remember from our therapist is that you empty yourself out being there for others and pouring out for them. You have to find someone or something to fill you back up. Secondly, you have to look at your friends and family as layers of an onion and realize that you can only take on the emotional support role for those innermost layers. As much as your parents, siblings, in-laws, etc. are also devastated, they can't expect, and you should not try, to be their primary emotional support person.
This is the kind of post that makes the OT great
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