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Researchers are feeding cocaine to Salmon. Find out they swim longer and further

Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:01 am
Posted by stout
Porte du Lafitte
Member since Sep 2006
182576 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:01 am



quote:

Salmon exposed to cocaine in the water swim longer distances than those that go without, according to a study released this week.

Cocaine use is on the rise worldwide, with the U.N. reporting an estimated 25 million people used the stimulant in 2023 and the drug being increasingly found in waterways.

Joint research released Monday by scientists at Australia's Griffith University and the Swedish University of Agricultural Sciences studied how the drug affected the movements of wild fish in their natural habitats.

Researchers took 105 wild Atlantic salmon in Sweden's Lake Vattern and exposed them to both cocaine and benzoylecgonine — a metabolite created by the drug in the liver — and then tracked their movements.

They found the river-dwellers exposed to the drugs traveled 1.9 times farther per week than their clean-living control cousins.

Those exposed to the by-product also swam 7.6 miles farther, the study found.

"Any unnatural change in animal behavior is a concern," report co-author Marcus Michelangeli from Griffith University's Australian Rivers Institute told national broadcaster ABC.




Next breakthrough they will tell us that weed makes Salmon less productive and have lower sperm counts
Posted by LNCHBOX
70448
Member since Jun 2009
89137 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:03 am to
quote:

Next breakthrough they will tell us that weed makes Salmon less productive and have lower sperm counts


I'm pretty sure he's a cyclist, so that would check out
Posted by Mo Jeaux
Member since Aug 2008
63837 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:03 am to
This is why the government is permitting legalization of weed, but still imposes restrictions on the super drug, cocaine. They don’t want us swimming longer and farther.
Posted by Bacon84
Texas
Member since Oct 2012
2025 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:04 am to
How much government grant money was wasted on testing salmon and cocaine?

Posted by soccerfüt
Location: A Series of Tubes
Member since May 2013
74897 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:04 am to
quote:

Researchers are feeding cocaine to Salmon
He posts here.

Damn, coulda been me.

Kinda makes you think…
Posted by UptownJoeBrown
Baton Rouge
Member since Jul 2024
10018 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:05 am to
Posted by Cosmo
glassman's guest house
Member since Oct 2003
131613 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:07 am to
quote:

How much government grant money was wasted on testing salmon and cocaine?


And how much salmon and cocaine went “missing” during the testing?
Posted by NoBoDawg
Member since Feb 2014
2229 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:10 am to
Why do they have funding for ridiculous studies like this?
Posted by SuperSaint
Sorting Out OT BS Since '2007'
Member since Sep 2007
150405 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:10 am to
quote:

I'm pretty sure he's a cyclist, so that would check out
larping as lance armstrong in those tights can’t be good for blood flow to the boys
Posted by Bacon84
Texas
Member since Oct 2012
2025 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:12 am to
quote:

nd how much salmon and cocaine went “missing” during the testing?


Zactly
Posted by The Torch
DFW The Dub
Member since Aug 2014
29635 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:13 am to
quote:

swim longer distances than those that go without,


Plus they want to frick more and eat less.
Posted by HeadSlash
TEAM LIVE BADASS - St. GEORGE
Member since Aug 2006
56002 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:13 am to
quote:

Why do they have funding for ridiculous studies like this?


Because the government has way too much money
Posted by auggie
Opelika, Alabama
Member since Aug 2013
31599 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:16 am to
Yeah, no shite.
Posted by grizzlylongcut
Member since Sep 2021
15451 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:19 am to
Wonder how much American NGOs paid for that
Posted by Pepe Lepew
Looney tuned .....
Member since Oct 2008
38696 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:20 am to
I’ve could’ve told everyone this without the research
Posted by vilma4prez
Lafayette, LA
Member since Jan 2009
6675 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:21 am to
Cocain Infused Salmon will be the hot dinner meal at Supper Club BR.
Posted by nuwaydawg
Member since Nov 2007
2274 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:21 am to
Posted by S
RIP Wayde
Member since Jan 2007
172393 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:24 am to
Posted by tide06
Member since Oct 2011
23405 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:26 am to
quote:

They don’t want us swimming longer and farther.

If that were true they wouldn’t be trying to force medical grade amphetamines on every 5th grade boy who doesn’t pay attention in class.
Posted by Salmon
I helped draft the email
Member since Feb 2008
86243 posts
Posted on 4/23/26 at 8:26 am to
quote:

Next breakthrough they will tell us that weed makes Salmon less productive and have lower sperm counts


Certainly less productive.

Sperm never missed though.
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