re: Question for OT Parents with older kids

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I have a question for the OT parents with kids in their 20’s and 30’s. I recently read an article that supposedly claimed that half of parents in the United States support their adult children financially. There seems to be a lot of people saying that these adult children either still live with their parents in their 20’s and beyond, or they live away, but their parents pay most of their bills.

Have any of you dealt with or encountered this with your kids? Do you feel this has become the norm in America?

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My 25 year old is struggling a little right now. He is single and lives with us. This is actually fine because I am gone half the time so his mom feels better having him there instead of being alone in the house. He is also probably about to get a job offer that will substrantially change his situation and will start covering all his own expenses. This is short term only.

I have two kids closer to 40 and only occasionally have had to help them out. My youngest is in grad school now and is still on the dime at 23 but she will go off that in December, she's already had job offers from places she has interned so I doubt she will be on our nickle very long after school.

Fortunately for me, I am in a position with the younger one to help them out some, I was not yet when the older ones went out on their own.

I have 4 adult kids. I have never given any of them one dime since they left home after high school. (I paid insurance and phone for oldest while in college) I would help if they asked, but they are all like me and would have to be damn near dead to ask.

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Why would I have them pay for health insurance

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Uh, because he's an adult? Just because Obamacare made it OK to keep them on your insurance doesn't mean it's a good idea. Are you contributing to his 401(k) on his behalf too?

One of my filthy rich friends sent his kid to {expensive arse private school in TX}. The boy graduated and was moving into an apartment. Both of our families (excluding the boy) were on a vacation in Spain, when the boy called dad to ask which internet plan he should sign up for, at the age of 22/23. Part of being an adult is making a mistake, and learning from it.

Modern women, for the most part, have pushed dependency on our kids, and men do the "it's cheaper to have one additional line on our plan," math to attempt to justify it.

When you're in early adulthood, your mistakes aren't very expensive. Do you want them to wait to learn lessons on how to set up auto bill pay when they have a mortgage and a kid? Downvote away.

I moved out at 18. However, we were much more optimistic about our financial potential then. If my kids want to live at home so they can save money and build a foundation for themselves and a future family, why wouldn’t I let them? What’s the point of struggling to barely make rent on a shitty studio apartment and never get anywhere? Stay home, save your money and work towards your goals.

All the people in this thread making their kids pay for their cell phones or room/board if they live at home are weird.

I have two in their mid 20s that are on their own. I don't give them anything, except they are on my cell plan. I have one still in college, I pay just about everything for him.

I can't imagine asking them to pay me back for a monthly cell bill. Seems petty.

I also can't imagine asking my daughter to pay rent when she lived with us for a short time before grad school.

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I have a question for the OT parents with kids in their 20’s and 30’s. I recently read an article that supposedly claimed that half of parents in the United States support their adult children financially. There seems to be a lot of people saying that these adult children either still live with their parents in their 20’s and beyond, or they live away, but their parents pay most of their bills.

Have any of you dealt with or encountered this with your kids? Do you feel this has become the norm in America?

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Absolutely true. Its what is breaking America. The kids go out and run up debt wanting everything now instead of working to get things gradually. Self gratification has to be now so the plus 60 group is dipping in retirement to front on their childrens debt.

Im glad my parents did not raise me and my siblings like this. We still dont get anything from my parents but none of us need it because the work was put in.

Sad to see but families will fall while others will rise.

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Our oldest turns 22 and graduates college in May. He's already accepted a job that starts a week after graduation. He knows that starting July 1 he's off our auto insurance and the phone bill is his. He has a paid for car, already a place to stay, and job lined up. Of course I'd help if any emergency came up but he's on his own.

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You raised a man.

Love seeing these types of stories.

Agreed. The direction they are going is important.

23 yr old still on the dole. In post-graduate school so we pay for everything. We figured it was better to pay everything than have him saddled with debit (student loans) that is nearly impossible to repay and have to support later or help repay.