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re: Question for OT Parents with older kids
Posted on 3/27/24 at 6:24 pm to LemmyLives
Posted on 3/27/24 at 6:24 pm to LemmyLives
Most if not all (at least male) brain has not fully developed at 17 and 18.
0
Posted on 3/27/24 at 6:26 pm to SaintlyTiger88
quote:
Do you feel this has become the norm in America?
Hope it's not the norm. My mid 20's kid finished college at 21 with a bachelor degree, got a job and was financially independent from me 3 months after that. They haven't lived in my home since leaving for college.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 6:30 pm to OK Roughneck
quote:
They haven't lived in my home since leaving for college.
They didn’t come home for Summers?
Posted on 3/27/24 at 6:31 pm to LemmyLives
quote:
There are 17 year olds enlisting in the military, today.
And they're told what to do all day and when to sleep
Posted on 3/27/24 at 6:32 pm to BOSCEAUX
quote:
They didn’t come home for Summers?
Just to visit they took summer classes despite my wishes they take a break and enjoy free summers while you can.
This post was edited on 3/27/24 at 6:35 pm
Posted on 3/27/24 at 6:40 pm to SaintlyTiger88
My two adult kids 21 and 19 are pretty self sufficient. They both got Tops plus good scholarships for full time schoolin. They both work as well.
I still fill up their tanks, get their oil changed, cash app $100 here and there. As well as pay for medical dental and cell phone bills.
My two younger kids 16 and 15 can frick right off. money grubbing little shits in high school. prom dresses, prom shoes. dance camp. cheer camp. fee for this fee for that. $30 to go eat with friends while I fricking have folder full of BK/Subway coupons to eat. Everything they do cost $50-100. frick!
I hate kids some times
I still fill up their tanks, get their oil changed, cash app $100 here and there. As well as pay for medical dental and cell phone bills.
My two younger kids 16 and 15 can frick right off. money grubbing little shits in high school. prom dresses, prom shoes. dance camp. cheer camp. fee for this fee for that. $30 to go eat with friends while I fricking have folder full of BK/Subway coupons to eat. Everything they do cost $50-100. frick!
I hate kids some times
This post was edited on 3/27/24 at 6:57 pm
Posted on 3/27/24 at 6:43 pm to SaintlyTiger88
I would bet easily at least half of people in their 20s have their parents help in some way and don’t really see an issue with that. Needing your parents help in your 30s is kinda pathetic though
Posted on 3/27/24 at 6:45 pm to mikelbr
quote:
My two younger kids 16 and 15 can frick right off. money grubbing little shits in high school.
Yep. I feel like drug dealer with all of my Cash App transactions.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 6:56 pm to SaintlyTiger88
We have an almost 22 year old graduating from nursing school in a month. We are letting her stay with us until August. Shes entering adulthood debt free and already has a job. I think that’s fair. But in August…. Ya gots to go!
Posted on 3/27/24 at 6:59 pm to Hawgnsincebirth55
quote:
have they gotten better or are they still lazy as shite
They're both working full-time and supporting themselves, but aren't showing any signs of going back to school to better themselves.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 7:32 pm to BOSCEAUX
Haha that was mainly tongue in cheek. Thats good for them, I just can’t imagine two people on a teachers salary. I know a couple in a similar situation, guy in med school, wife is a teacher and they just had a baby. I think they are probably a couple that the OP is referring to and getting some help from their parents.
This post was edited on 3/27/24 at 7:32 pm
Posted on 3/27/24 at 7:44 pm to LemmyLives
quote:
No, I exactly do. Whether I had one kid or four, the "family" rate is the same.
You're missing my point. It's not about the money, it's about responsibility
Imagine thinking you are being a good parent and teaching responsibility by stealing a few hundred dollars every month from your 24 year old.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 7:49 pm to PhiTiger1764
Im 37, fairly successful, married with a kid and my mom and dad still try to pay for my gas, insurance, bills
Posted on 3/27/24 at 8:11 pm to LSBoosie
quote:
Haha that was mainly tongue in cheek. Thats good for them, I just can’t imagine two people on a teachers salary. I know a couple in a similar situation, guy in med school, wife is a teacher and they just had a baby. I think they are probably a couple that the OP is referring to and getting some help from their parents.
I bought him a gas grill for Christmas. They both love it. Their best friends from high school come over some weekends and the grill cheap meat like poor people and play D&D like the nerds they are.
ETA: they definitely do not spend outside their means or do anything extravagant. He was raised to no the value of a dollar and like I said earlier she didn’t come from much so she knows how to make it stretch. I couldn’t be prouder of them. I’m just ready for him to be a full fledged Dr. So I can get me a grand child and spoil it rotten.
This post was edited on 3/27/24 at 8:15 pm
Posted on 3/27/24 at 8:13 pm to SaintlyTiger88
Oldest (early 30s) - not at all.
Middle - 23 and will graduate in May. We pay most of his bills.
Middle - 23 and will graduate in May. We pay most of his bills.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 9:02 pm to Tantal
quote:maybe school just isn’t for them.
They're both working full-time and supporting themselves, but aren't showing any signs of going back to school to better themselves.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 9:16 pm to SaintlyTiger88
I think the best way to do this is tell the kid that they will get whatever the remainder is from their college fund in cash when they graduate college. Makes them more budget conscious as an undergrad, and if you give them 10k just before they start their first real job (covering apartment deposit, emergency fund, etc), they will already have the budgeting skills to use the money wisely. Of course, if they blow through the whole fund in college, they don’t get the “starter fund” at graduation. Bottom line is that you need to teach your kids about money and budgeting early (before they leave for college).
Posted on 3/27/24 at 9:18 pm to SaintlyTiger88
I have 4 kids from 30 down to 22. Oldest 2 are married and support themselves. Another is getting married this year and moving out. Youngest will be at home for the next couple of years. They are self supporting, except for housing.
Posted on 3/27/24 at 9:25 pm to SaintlyTiger88
It’s true.
Fidelity said it’s like 42%.
If you work in the same town and everyone gets along, it’s a good way to save money for your future.
This may sound hokey, but I’d like to by a duplex in a nice area and have one of our kids live close to us. I can’t seem to find one right now at a decent price.
We give our kids a lot.
We fully fund their Roth IRAs.
I do this as a legacy to them.
We pay the cell phones. It’s a perk.
We do some other things for them- meals out together, vacations, etc. We can afford to do some nice things for our kids.
My kids have never been arrested and both work full time.
Fidelity said it’s like 42%.
If you work in the same town and everyone gets along, it’s a good way to save money for your future.
This may sound hokey, but I’d like to by a duplex in a nice area and have one of our kids live close to us. I can’t seem to find one right now at a decent price.
We give our kids a lot.
We fully fund their Roth IRAs.
I do this as a legacy to them.
We pay the cell phones. It’s a perk.
We do some other things for them- meals out together, vacations, etc. We can afford to do some nice things for our kids.
My kids have never been arrested and both work full time.
This post was edited on 3/27/24 at 9:38 pm
Posted on 3/27/24 at 9:27 pm to TROLA
quote:
hat he is welcome to stay at home either during grad level school or for a limited time when he begins his career provided he pay a small amt of room and board.
Great idea on the room and board. Put it in an account in his name and surprise him with it when he leaves the nest.
We still cover her car insurance, but just because of logistics. This time is the last though. She is setting up her own. She also doesn't pay for the gas when I need to use my truck to bring things places for her. I also pay when we go out to eat. I am OK with both.
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