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re: Married OTers, if could go back to single, look for wife again. What would you value most?
Posted on 2/13/25 at 7:55 am to DemonKA3268
Posted on 2/13/25 at 7:55 am to DemonKA3268
Is Trump gonna end no fault divorce?
I feel like a lot of these marriage threads are so sad because it’s like “she doesn’t yell at me that much or put us into bankruptcy” like being the bare minimum decent human is what makes a good wife
I feel like a lot of these marriage threads are so sad because it’s like “she doesn’t yell at me that much or put us into bankruptcy” like being the bare minimum decent human is what makes a good wife
0
Posted on 2/13/25 at 8:09 am to Saunson69
If you are dating someone and they have some personality traits, habits, past experiences, etc that annoy you and you think, “I can get over that eventually”, those things will only annoy you more after marriage.
I am only doing the marriage thing once in this lifetime.
I am only doing the marriage thing once in this lifetime.
Posted on 2/13/25 at 8:10 am to Saunson69
My peace.
Posted on 2/13/25 at 8:14 am to Rockbrc
quote:
Peace
This and someone who accepts you for who you are with all of your faults/shortcomings.
I'm beyond blessed, I have a great woman, one of the few left. It's been a great nearly 24 years together.
Posted on 2/13/25 at 8:15 am to Hondo Blacksheep
That's a pretty low bar.
It seems a lot of men have forgotten that they are the spiritual leaders of the home.
A Christian marriage isn't an absolute guarantee of a successful union, but the odds increase exponentially if you are evenly yoked.
It seems a lot of men have forgotten that they are the spiritual leaders of the home.
A Christian marriage isn't an absolute guarantee of a successful union, but the odds increase exponentially if you are evenly yoked.
Posted on 2/13/25 at 9:14 am to AwgustaDawg
quote:
only does it on our birthday
Really? Lucky man.
Posted on 2/13/25 at 9:17 am to Nole Man
I'm a lucky guy and married a woman that can cook her arse off, is very attractive and takes care of everything in the home. The only drawback that I can point out is she doesn't make a lot of money working for the town she grew up in as the town clerk. I make a really good amount of money, so it works out fine, but all the financial pressure is on me. If something were to happen to me, then we would have to move and lower our cost of living substantially.
Posted on 2/13/25 at 9:20 am to Saunson69
Doesn't have social media. ie not an attention whore.
Posted on 2/13/25 at 9:26 am to OysterPoBoy
quote:You might want to consider being a bit more specific here….
Love of blowjobs.
Posted on 2/13/25 at 9:29 am to Saunson69
I would pay more attention to what her mom is like, how she acts, how she acts with kids.
Everyone tells you its a good barometer and you don't realize how good of one it is until you're married for a while.
Outside of that probably finding an eastern European gymnast or something
Everyone tells you its a good barometer and you don't realize how good of one it is until you're married for a while.
Outside of that probably finding an eastern European gymnast or something
Posted on 2/13/25 at 9:30 am to Saunson69
The thing that I value in a woman is what my wife has now. Drive and ambition. The motivation to want to be something.
She makes damn good money, hell of a lot more than me and she started off as a temp secretary.
It was rough the years she had to focus on her Master's and while she studied and wrote papers I had to take the reigns over on parenting. But it all paid off.
She did the same for me while I pursued my Master's
I see all these videos of young women wanting a 6'6 man that makes 6 figures. They don't have any ambition other than being pampered.
She makes damn good money, hell of a lot more than me and she started off as a temp secretary.
It was rough the years she had to focus on her Master's and while she studied and wrote papers I had to take the reigns over on parenting. But it all paid off.
She did the same for me while I pursued my Master's
I see all these videos of young women wanting a 6'6 man that makes 6 figures. They don't have any ambition other than being pampered.
Posted on 2/13/25 at 9:32 am to HuskyPanda
Peace, peace, and more peace!
Posted on 2/13/25 at 9:38 am to Saunson69
Self sufficient, responsible, not insecure, not crazy, and physically attractive I.e. good body; great skin/complexion is a must.
Posted on 2/13/25 at 9:40 am to Saunson69
quote:
people that have been married for decades that if they could go back to 25 or 30 or whatever, and have to start all over on finding a wife, what would you search for most? Personality? Looks? Common Interest?
My ex-wife has good core values, and she is a great mother to our children. My next relationship, whatever that looks like, I want someone who has the desire and intent to communicate, without stonewalling or shutting down completely. I recognize that some of my actions contributed to why my ex-wife completely ignored me, or our relationship for many years, however, there is a larger issue that was also in play here, namely her foundation growing up as a child. No shame and no blame, as we all have cracks in our foundation.
quote:
What were red flags you overlooked that didn't seem a big deal, but became a big deal over time?
I was too naive to know what communication really looked like when I got married. It has to be intentional, and it can't kept being put off, i.e., kicking the can down the road. It has to be logical, and never emotional. And it has to be done, where if there is disagreement or hurt, repair is not too far behind.
quote:
What is the biggest cause of divorce that you notice?
Conflict and avoidance causes divorce. It’s common for people to do everything they can to avoid conflict, including having tough conversations regarding their relationships. Avoiding conflict is a silent relationship killer because it prevents the opportunity for addressing conflict to take place. Instead, couples bury their feelings until they lead to feelings of resentment. Not learning these skills is a sure way to kill your relationship silently.
Posted on 2/13/25 at 9:48 am to Saunson69
quote:
, what would you search for most?
A woman who values honesty, kindness and modesty and isn’t afraid of hard work. We can solve for anything else if those are true.
quote:
red flags
Not with my wife, but I definitely would have been underweighting the modesty part if we hadn’t gotten married as young as we did.
quote:
What is the biggest cause of divorce that you notice?
I know it’s cliche but it’s almost always communication…either not doing enough before marriage (and perhaps deciding against it) or quitting after. Lack of communication is the root of every single “last straw event” (infidelity, money issues, sexual dissatisfaction, problems with kids/inlaws). You’re either getting closer or drifting apart, and if you’re not communicating you are likely drifting apart.
Talk about everything. Even if it’s repetitive. Even if it’s trivial. Don’t be one of these dude that complain about their wives wanting to talk all the time because when she decides to stop, it’s likely over and you’ll never get her back.
Posted on 2/13/25 at 9:51 am to ronricks
quote:
I’m starting to come around on this Latina thing some baws on here have been talking about. Been chatting a few up at the gym and they seem way more motivated than your typical American woman who wants everything handed to her and is lazy.
I dated a few latinas when I lived in Miami and probably would be married to one if I had stayed in Miami. Latinas especially Columbian women will rock your world in more ways than one. They can cook and they will screw you until you can’t walk. They will also get hot and bothered by the smallest thing and throw a fit like you have never seen. However that’s just because their culture loves drama. However if they see you even looking at another woman then there is a 50-50 chance that they might murder you.
Posted on 2/13/25 at 9:59 am to Saunson69
Make sure she has some sort of drive. Either a hobby passion or work passion that drives her. Its not enough that she looks goods and is fun to drink with because in 5 -10 yrs she needs her own purpose in life. otherwise if her purpose is being your house wife, house mom, etc... you'll get bored with her, she'll drive you crazy, or she'll be so far up your arse you won't see the light of day.
20yrs married next year.
20yrs married next year.
Posted on 2/13/25 at 10:03 am to Gusoline
quote:
i saw a missed spot on her wiping when we were making love one day.
Well that’s when you tell her to switch positions so you don’t have to look at it.
Posted on 2/13/25 at 10:03 am to Saunson69
Someone my friends liked as I now see none of my old buddies
Definitely someone better in the sack
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