re: I’m now a beard man. I had no idea they had whole brands built around beard maintenance

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Remember this: their are 2 types of people
on this earth;
1. Those with Beards
2. Women

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very on brand for this quote

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Haven’t really fooled around with any of the balms and creams and whatnot.

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You don’t get itchy or dry skin?

I use a beard wash in the shower then a cream/leave in conditioner once it gets decently long.

Use conditioner to keep it soft. You can buy beard oils and balms, but I don’t find it worth it unless you have some real length to it. The beard products are not cheap.

You come in with a huge SOY OP and then tell someone else they are soy.
You sound like a woman in the OP.
Anybody doing anything but the minimum amount of maintenance on a beard shouldn't have one.
Shave your neck with the bare guard once a week and trim it once every two weeks.
Dandruff shampoo it in the shower.

(no message)

Well, we can tell now who are and aren't plant baws here

I get a haircut/beard trim and shape once a week. I use beard shampoo every time in the shower and beard oil and or balm after with a thick bristle beard brush. I shave my neck at the neckline and the cheeks in between haircuts.

Call it gay all you want or whatever else, but beard maintenance is a must for me as a professional.
I obviously wouldn’t use me as the average example, but I’m sure there are others that take it seriously.

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Anybody doing anything but the minimum amount of maintenance on a beard shouldn't have one.

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You must have a shitty patchy beard then.

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Cremo makes a good scruff cream

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Cremo makes good everything. I’ve tried all the hipster expensive brands and most suck. Cremo is half the price and works way better.