Started By
Message
locked post

Has anyone known a victim of domestic violence?

Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:20 am
Posted by Tiger in Gatorland
Moonshine Holler
Member since Sep 2006
9557 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:20 am
So I have a woman that I dated and we remained friends. She had been in a relationship with a man so we had no contact. We started having contact again; I was under impression they broke up. While they may have broken up in some sense, they continue to live together. I didn't know this until we met for lunch yesterday.

She shows up and asks if we can talk in my car before entering the restaurant. I had some suspicion because a few days before she told me she dropped her phone and it "broke."

So she's got a black eye, seriously swollen check, bruises all over her neck, arms, stomach area, back. She got the shite beat out of her and I've never seen a woman like that. She hasn't involved law enforcement because he has a child custody case regarding his child from a previous relationship in the court now and she feels that is her leverage to get out (that he doesn't want LEO involvement). She plans to "move out" this coming weekend. She emailed me this morning that he was violent again last night.

Of course she's seeking some kind of emotional support from me; she's probably depressed and desperately wants to be cared for. I verbally express care, but say it's more important for her to be safe and any way I can help, let me know.

Has anyone ever dealt with anything similar?

And if any man has to lay a hand on a woman, he deserves a beating to the edge of his death and I'd certainly like to round up some of my baws and go talk to this fella.

ETA: Some clarity.
This post was edited on 10/3/16 at 9:38 am
Posted by The Pirate King
Pangu
Member since May 2014
69635 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:23 am to
Most people know a victim of domestic violence, but don't realize it.

A lot of people hide it.
Posted by Adam4848
LA
Member since Apr 2006
19847 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:23 am to
quote:

And if any man has to lay a hand on a woman, he deserves a beating to the edge of his death and I'd certainly like to round up some of my baws


Posted by DevilDogTiger
RTWFY!
Member since Nov 2007
6643 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:24 am to
quote:

certainly like to round up some of my baws and go talk to this fella.

Is this code for "he'd beat my arse one on one"
Posted by Topwater Trout
Red Stick
Member since Oct 2010
70176 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:26 am to
quote:

they continue to live together


quote:

We started having contact again


quote:

she's got a black eye, seriously swollen check, bruises all over her neck, arms, stomach area, back


Your fault
Posted by Azranod
The Land of crooked letters and I's
Member since Oct 2013
1211 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:28 am to
quote:

And if any man has to lay a hand on a woman, he deserves a beating to the edge of his death



I used to know a 450lb. gay radio DJ who would tell the most God awful jokes, like:
Him: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Me: I dunno, what?
Him: Nothing, you already told the bitch twice!
Posted by terd ferguson
Darren Wilson Fan Club President
Member since Aug 2007
114938 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:29 am to
quote:

She hasn't involved law enforcement because he has a child custody case in the court now and she feels that is her leverage to get out (that he doesn't want LEO involvement).


That's dumb as frick. Why not call LEO and have a report filled out that actually documents the abuse. She'll have no proof of any of it.
Posted by Boudreaux35
BR
Member since Sep 2007
22281 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:30 am to
To answer your first question, yes, I know someone personally.

For your friend, there are other sources of help for this that don't involve the "LEO" directly and she needs to seek help NOW! "This coming weekend" kind of plans has many times turned out to be too late. She should then talk to her attorney, but I don't see how getting beaten by some a-hole should effect a child custody case, as long as she is no longer living in the abusive situation.

Bottom line is she needs to get out, and if she needs help to do it, she needs to get it.
Posted by Tiger in Gatorland
Moonshine Holler
Member since Sep 2006
9557 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:31 am to
quote:

Why not call LEO and have a report filled out that actually documents the abuse. She'll have no proof of any of it.


I agree completely. She has pics, but that won't work for any good I'm sure. I'm sure it's related to the dynamics of the situation.
Posted by RemouladeSawce
Uranus
Member since Sep 2008
18470 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:32 am to
She has a kid and she isn't taking this to the next level? Don't waste your time.
Posted by kywildcatfanone
Wildcat Country!
Member since Oct 2012
141055 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:33 am to
My wife was a victim of domestic violence in her 1st marriage. Still impacts her life daily.
Posted by Tiger in Gatorland
Moonshine Holler
Member since Sep 2006
9557 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:34 am to
quote:

Your fault


quote:

they continue to live together. I didn't know this until we met for lunch yesterday.


You know, the story is in a certain order for a reason. Apparently comprehension isn't your strong point.

Again, I did not know they continue to live together until we met for lunch yesterday.

Also, I don't accept blame for anything. I'm just asking for feedback from others who may have experienced similar circumstances.
Posted by ocelot4ark
Dallas, TX
Member since Oct 2009
12536 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:35 am to
FIL was murdered by his wife (not his first marriage). Shot him down in cold blood. Serving life w/o parole.
Posted by Tiger in Gatorland
Moonshine Holler
Member since Sep 2006
9557 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:36 am to
quote:

She has a kid and she isn't taking this to the next level?


Sorry - it is his custody case for his child from a previous relationship. She doesn't want to mess that up, and feels she can use that as leverage for him doing the "right thing."

I am aware of the argument that she has a part in protecting the other child from this abusive POS, but she's not even protecting herself, muchless,, some kid she doesn't know.
Posted by molsusports
Member since Jul 2004
37671 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:43 am to
I knew a guy who was pretty regularly showing up to school with bruises and scratch marks. He was dating a crazy and emotional woman with no inhibitions about using violence. Since he was the guy he really didn't seem to know what to do. Going to the police seemed ridiculous to him and he couldn't hit her back like he would have a man.
Posted by BluegrassBelle
RIP Hefty Lefty - 1981-2019
Member since Nov 2010
108894 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:46 am to
quote:

She doesn't want to mess that up, and feels she can use that as leverage for him doing the "right thing."


To answer your question, yes.

And as far as his leverage stuff, someone that abusive isn't going to truly give a shite about that. And it sounds like some shite he's plied her with so she won't call the LEO and she's buying it hook, line, and sinker.

Best advice is for her to GTFO. At this rate he's going to kill her.
Posted by Pettifogger
I don't really care, Margaret
Member since Feb 2012
87727 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:49 am to
Just watch The Rainmaker
Posted by Hammertime
Will trade dowsing rod for titties
Member since Jan 2012
43031 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 10:12 am to
Yes. I did something about it and got arrested. He also tried to sue me. The chick (who was a good friend) sold me out and said I just went nuts on her bf. Luckily the cops took pics of everyone and I told them I walked in on him hitting her (which I did not). Charges dropped

Unless she is a VERY close friend or good family member, mind your own business. She's the one dumb enough to be in that relationship, so she'll frick you over to stay with that guy
Posted by s14suspense
Baton Rouge
Member since Mar 2007
16149 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 10:15 am to
I used to know someone involved in domestic violence. Get her help fast.
Posted by Displaced
Member since Dec 2011
33054 posts
Posted on 10/3/16 at 10:18 am to
If she is involving you in this, and he continues to beat her, you need to call the police since she wont. Don't get friends to go beat his arse, just call the police.

How would you feel if you found out he killed her and you did nothing.
This post was edited on 10/3/16 at 10:19 am
first pageprev pagePage 1 of 3Next pagelast page

Back to top
logoFollow TigerDroppings for LSU Football News
Follow us on X, Facebook and Instagram to get the latest updates on LSU Football and Recruiting.

FacebookXInstagram