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Has anyone known a victim of domestic violence?
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:20 am
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:20 am
So I have a woman that I dated and we remained friends. She had been in a relationship with a man so we had no contact. We started having contact again; I was under impression they broke up. While they may have broken up in some sense, they continue to live together. I didn't know this until we met for lunch yesterday.
She shows up and asks if we can talk in my car before entering the restaurant. I had some suspicion because a few days before she told me she dropped her phone and it "broke."
So she's got a black eye, seriously swollen check, bruises all over her neck, arms, stomach area, back. She got the shite beat out of her and I've never seen a woman like that. She hasn't involved law enforcement because he has a child custody case regarding his child from a previous relationship in the court now and she feels that is her leverage to get out (that he doesn't want LEO involvement). She plans to "move out" this coming weekend. She emailed me this morning that he was violent again last night.
Of course she's seeking some kind of emotional support from me; she's probably depressed and desperately wants to be cared for. I verbally express care, but say it's more important for her to be safe and any way I can help, let me know.
Has anyone ever dealt with anything similar?
And if any man has to lay a hand on a woman, he deserves a beating to the edge of his death and I'd certainly like to round up some of my baws and go talk to this fella.
ETA: Some clarity.
She shows up and asks if we can talk in my car before entering the restaurant. I had some suspicion because a few days before she told me she dropped her phone and it "broke."
So she's got a black eye, seriously swollen check, bruises all over her neck, arms, stomach area, back. She got the shite beat out of her and I've never seen a woman like that. She hasn't involved law enforcement because he has a child custody case regarding his child from a previous relationship in the court now and she feels that is her leverage to get out (that he doesn't want LEO involvement). She plans to "move out" this coming weekend. She emailed me this morning that he was violent again last night.
Of course she's seeking some kind of emotional support from me; she's probably depressed and desperately wants to be cared for. I verbally express care, but say it's more important for her to be safe and any way I can help, let me know.
Has anyone ever dealt with anything similar?
And if any man has to lay a hand on a woman, he deserves a beating to the edge of his death and I'd certainly like to round up some of my baws and go talk to this fella.
ETA: Some clarity.
This post was edited on 10/3/16 at 9:38 am
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:23 am to Tiger in Gatorland
Most people know a victim of domestic violence, but don't realize it.
A lot of people hide it.
A lot of people hide it.
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:23 am to Tiger in Gatorland
quote:
And if any man has to lay a hand on a woman, he deserves a beating to the edge of his death and I'd certainly like to round up some of my baws

Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:24 am to Tiger in Gatorland
quote:
certainly like to round up some of my baws and go talk to this fella.
Is this code for "he'd beat my arse one on one"
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:26 am to Tiger in Gatorland
quote:
they continue to live together
quote:
We started having contact again
quote:
she's got a black eye, seriously swollen check, bruises all over her neck, arms, stomach area, back
Your fault
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:28 am to Tiger in Gatorland
quote:
And if any man has to lay a hand on a woman, he deserves a beating to the edge of his death
I used to know a 450lb. gay radio DJ who would tell the most God awful jokes, like:
Him: What do you tell a woman with two black eyes?
Me: I dunno, what?
Him: Nothing, you already told the bitch twice!
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:29 am to Tiger in Gatorland
quote:
She hasn't involved law enforcement because he has a child custody case in the court now and she feels that is her leverage to get out (that he doesn't want LEO involvement).
That's dumb as frick. Why not call LEO and have a report filled out that actually documents the abuse. She'll have no proof of any of it.
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:30 am to Tiger in Gatorland
To answer your first question, yes, I know someone personally.
For your friend, there are other sources of help for this that don't involve the "LEO" directly and she needs to seek help NOW! "This coming weekend" kind of plans has many times turned out to be too late. She should then talk to her attorney, but I don't see how getting beaten by some a-hole should effect a child custody case, as long as she is no longer living in the abusive situation.
Bottom line is she needs to get out, and if she needs help to do it, she needs to get it.
For your friend, there are other sources of help for this that don't involve the "LEO" directly and she needs to seek help NOW! "This coming weekend" kind of plans has many times turned out to be too late. She should then talk to her attorney, but I don't see how getting beaten by some a-hole should effect a child custody case, as long as she is no longer living in the abusive situation.
Bottom line is she needs to get out, and if she needs help to do it, she needs to get it.
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:31 am to terd ferguson
quote:
Why not call LEO and have a report filled out that actually documents the abuse. She'll have no proof of any of it.
I agree completely. She has pics, but that won't work for any good I'm sure. I'm sure it's related to the dynamics of the situation.
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:32 am to Tiger in Gatorland
She has a kid and she isn't taking this to the next level? Don't waste your time.
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:33 am to Tiger in Gatorland
My wife was a victim of domestic violence in her 1st marriage. Still impacts her life daily.
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:34 am to Topwater Trout
quote:
Your fault
quote:
they continue to live together. I didn't know this until we met for lunch yesterday.
You know, the story is in a certain order for a reason. Apparently comprehension isn't your strong point.
Again, I did not know they continue to live together until we met for lunch yesterday.
Also, I don't accept blame for anything. I'm just asking for feedback from others who may have experienced similar circumstances.
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:35 am to Tiger in Gatorland
FIL was murdered by his wife (not his first marriage). Shot him down in cold blood. Serving life w/o parole.
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:36 am to RemouladeSawce
quote:
She has a kid and she isn't taking this to the next level?
Sorry - it is his custody case for his child from a previous relationship. She doesn't want to mess that up, and feels she can use that as leverage for him doing the "right thing."
I am aware of the argument that she has a part in protecting the other child from this abusive POS, but she's not even protecting herself, muchless,, some kid she doesn't know.
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:43 am to Tiger in Gatorland
I knew a guy who was pretty regularly showing up to school with bruises and scratch marks. He was dating a crazy and emotional woman with no inhibitions about using violence. Since he was the guy he really didn't seem to know what to do. Going to the police seemed ridiculous to him and he couldn't hit her back like he would have a man.
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:46 am to Tiger in Gatorland
quote:
She doesn't want to mess that up, and feels she can use that as leverage for him doing the "right thing."
To answer your question, yes.
And as far as his leverage stuff, someone that abusive isn't going to truly give a shite about that. And it sounds like some shite he's plied her with so she won't call the LEO and she's buying it hook, line, and sinker.
Best advice is for her to GTFO. At this rate he's going to kill her.
Posted on 10/3/16 at 9:49 am to Tiger in Gatorland
Just watch The Rainmaker
Posted on 10/3/16 at 10:12 am to Tiger in Gatorland
Yes. I did something about it and got arrested. He also tried to sue me. The chick (who was a good friend) sold me out and said I just went nuts on her bf. Luckily the cops took pics of everyone and I told them I walked in on him hitting her (which I did not). Charges dropped
Unless she is a VERY close friend or good family member, mind your own business. She's the one dumb enough to be in that relationship, so she'll frick you over to stay with that guy
Unless she is a VERY close friend or good family member, mind your own business. She's the one dumb enough to be in that relationship, so she'll frick you over to stay with that guy
Posted on 10/3/16 at 10:15 am to Tiger in Gatorland
I used to know someone involved in domestic violence. Get her help fast.
Posted on 10/3/16 at 10:18 am to Tiger in Gatorland
If she is involving you in this, and he continues to beat her, you need to call the police since she wont. Don't get friends to go beat his arse, just call the police.
How would you feel if you found out he killed her and you did nothing.
How would you feel if you found out he killed her and you did nothing.
This post was edited on 10/3/16 at 10:19 am
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