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re: Has anyone here dealt with the onset of mental illness with their spouse?
Posted on 1/3/24 at 2:59 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Posted on 1/3/24 at 2:59 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
yes. stop what you’re doing and order off amazon the Book Stop walking on egg shells. just don’t let them know you are reading it. good luck and god bless
1
Posted on 1/3/24 at 3:00 pm to LegendInMyMind
quote:
Not a spouse, but with a serious girlfriend.
She was "normal" when we started dating. I was just out of high school and she was a year younger than me. We started dating my junior and her sophomore year, and actually became serious after we both graduated. It became evident early on that her mother was likely manic/depressive and probably had some other personality issues....undiagnosed.
Well, all was well for around four years, but for the crazy mom. I got to know her mom over the years and knew how she was. I started seeing the same thing in her daughter....gradual at first, then more and more.
I only broke it off after her stepdad (had been married to her mom for a decade or so, and wasn't far from leaving her for good) came to my house. We talked for over an hour and he just told me what it was like. It took a couple more months, but I finally broke it off.
It was just surreal watching her turn into her mom. Sad, too, because she hated that woman.
It was around a six-and-a-half year slow motion trainwreck.
Holy frick I feel like you just described my last relationship before the one I am currently in.
Mom had a prescription pill problem, was a complete psycho. GF hated her, but was slowly becoming her/gaining weight like her, and totally not taking care of herself.
It was her brother in law that sat me down and talked to me.
Complete nightmare. Didn’t realize how bad it was until I found my now Fiance.
This post was edited on 1/3/24 at 3:04 pm
Posted on 1/3/24 at 3:00 pm to tigertrueAU
Y’all are bitching about wives and ex wives and some of us haven’t gotten to get married once
Posted on 1/3/24 at 3:10 pm to dgnx6
quote:
Lol thats just a mid life crisis for women, not a mental illness.
This was way before midlife had even begun, and people aren’t hospitalized for a midlife crisis. This stuff is NO joke man. I hope nobody has to go through that kind of stuff. I wouldn’t wish that on anybody. It’s probably the most helpless feeling I’ve ever felt, that nothing you do can fix this one. I really just wanted to let him know he isn’t alone, and alone is exactly what you feel when you’re going through this with a spouse.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 3:13 pm to redstick13
quote:
Yes. My ex is one of the worst sociopaths imaginable. She was very adept at hiding it early on. 10 years into the marriage, her alcohol and prescription drug abuse degraded her abilities to mask her true self. When she started to lose some of the attention she craved she started pulling crazy stunts like telling people she had cancer (she didn’t), faking choking on food and she poisoned two of our pets. Complete nut case who has only gotten worse since we divorced. I honestly feel lucky that I made it out of the marriage alive.
Sounds like the typical dependa.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 3:15 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
I somehow dated two girls diagnosed with BPD. If this is the case, please run for the hills as fast as possible. The constant ups and downs, mood swings, anger will make your life a living hell and you'll feel like you're crazy as well. It took me dating my last gf who was totally sweet and normal for me to fully realize exactly how messed up the other two were
This post was edited on 1/3/24 at 3:19 pm
Posted on 1/3/24 at 3:32 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Yes. BPD with such textbook symptoms anyone could diagnose it just from reading the Wikipedia entry on it.
Thought it was my duty to love her and stand by her anyway, but ultimately had to leave when she became physically violent.
She's one of the best people I've ever known in a lot of ways and I feel sorry that she'll never live a normal life.
My advice is if they show any symptoms of a mental illness or are on Rx meds for anything mental health related, cut away and move on immediately. And do not look back, even for a second. Trust me on this one.
Whether it's their fault or not (it isn't if it's truly a brain chemistry issue), do not let that become your problem.
Thought it was my duty to love her and stand by her anyway, but ultimately had to leave when she became physically violent.
She's one of the best people I've ever known in a lot of ways and I feel sorry that she'll never live a normal life.
My advice is if they show any symptoms of a mental illness or are on Rx meds for anything mental health related, cut away and move on immediately. And do not look back, even for a second. Trust me on this one.
Whether it's their fault or not (it isn't if it's truly a brain chemistry issue), do not let that become your problem.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 3:44 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
If I were you I would run for the hills and I hate to say that because I see it all the time but sadly there isn’t a lot of great options for many mental disorders other than sedatives. A lot of mentally ill patients won’t take their medications because it makes them feel lethargic which usually leads to a never ending cycle of highs and lows. They will resume their medications, feel better then believe they no longer need it; repeat the process. It’s very sad unfortunately
Posted on 1/3/24 at 4:21 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Yes, my wife would snap over the simplest of things or disagreements and temporarily just go fricking insane. She finally got help, diagnosed with intermittent explosive disorder, did therapy and takes Zoloft. New person.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 4:40 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
I worry about my husbands short term memory. Maybe he just didn't think it was worth remembering why he went into the kitchen. etc. Both his parents had dementia which was both a downer and a possible predictor.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 4:55 pm to el Gaucho
(no message)
Posted on 1/3/24 at 5:07 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Friend of mine married a girl who punched him in the face on their third date. He had his issues too.
She made a legit attempt to kill herself after overmedicating in the tub.
BPD. It SUCKS. Nothing works except therapy. Lifelong therapy. Who sticks with therapy their whole life? Not many.
She made a legit attempt to kill herself after overmedicating in the tub.
BPD. It SUCKS. Nothing works except therapy. Lifelong therapy. Who sticks with therapy their whole life? Not many.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 5:57 pm to Sam Quint
North shore Aggie:
Were you the one that started a thread a while back about potential BPD? It was a long thread that was very interesting, always wanted to know how things turned out.
Were you the one that started a thread a while back about potential BPD? It was a long thread that was very interesting, always wanted to know how things turned out.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 5:59 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Had an ex with a lot of issues. When people ask how it ended, I ask them if they ever saw the opening scene of Ballers. It was that to a T one night after an LSU game.
I tried to get her out multiple times before that, but she threatened to tell everyone I beat her (I didn’t). Her parents even tried to ditch her on me and said “well she’s your problem now” when I called late night to ask them to help find her after she took off down Alaska St after a game.
God bless whoever she finally traps.
I tried to get her out multiple times before that, but she threatened to tell everyone I beat her (I didn’t). Her parents even tried to ditch her on me and said “well she’s your problem now” when I called late night to ask them to help find her after she took off down Alaska St after a game.
God bless whoever she finally traps.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 6:01 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Sometimes I truly think my wife has multiple personality disorder.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 6:09 pm to Mid Iowa Tiger
quote:
She was cra cra I just didn’t realize how cra cra until post divorce.
Did she go extra crazy after the divorce or did you just realize how nuts she was once you were free?
Posted on 1/3/24 at 6:30 pm to Nelson Biederman IV
Anxiety. Was diagnosed. Treated. She is fine. But still on meds. Onset in fifth decade. She has a history of mental illness in her family with one absolutely pathologic aunt who never got out of mental health care.
Posted on 1/3/24 at 6:36 pm to BayouFann
quote:
Same here after a ten year marriage. Then I started seeing these different issues in many folk. I was already an introvert but eventually became more of a loner.
You know what they say.
If you wake up and meet one a-hole throughout the day, you’ve met an a-hole
If you wake up and all you meet are assholes throughout the day, you’re the a-hole…
Posted on 1/3/24 at 6:42 pm to Happygilmore
quote:
Were you the one that started a thread a while back about potential BPD? It was a long thread that was very interesting, always wanted to know how things turned out.
Yes it was me. Things are about the same. I started that thread right after i learned about BPD and I had strong inclinations that that was what was going on. I still do. But my wife is undiagnosed, and I'm not qualified to make a diagnosis. I also have little kids and I can't imagine not living with them. I'm also very wary of confirmation bias in myself and it's very easy to blame every disagreement or fight on BPD and absolve myself of any blame. So for the time being, I'm just making do the best I can. I've started seeing a therapist myself, separately, which has helped my outlook a lot. It's tough though. The toughest part is not really knowing, and constantly second guessing myself (which is where the "questioning your own sanity" piece comes in I guess).
Anyways, that's pretty much it. Thanks for asking.
This post was edited on 1/3/24 at 6:45 pm
Posted on 1/3/24 at 6:53 pm to Tiger1242
A friend of mine's wife got hit with severe depression in her early 50s. She was the most unlikely person you would expect to be depressed. Just a lovely, laid-back lady who was happily married. The depression became so severe he and her mom had her committed involuntarily.
I was around them a lot and saw the changes. After she was released, she was put on meds and counseling and was back to her usual self, almost. A year later, the depression descended upon her again, like a dark cloud. Recognizing the situation, my friend went with her to her doctor and and told him what was going on. The doctor apologized for reducing her meds too quickly, said it was all on him and they would take care of it.
A week later, she shot herself.
So, if there is a problem, be proactive, very proactive. She was a truly lovely person and a dear friend and we all miss her still.
I was around them a lot and saw the changes. After she was released, she was put on meds and counseling and was back to her usual self, almost. A year later, the depression descended upon her again, like a dark cloud. Recognizing the situation, my friend went with her to her doctor and and told him what was going on. The doctor apologized for reducing her meds too quickly, said it was all on him and they would take care of it.
A week later, she shot herself.
So, if there is a problem, be proactive, very proactive. She was a truly lovely person and a dear friend and we all miss her still.
This post was edited on 1/3/24 at 6:54 pm
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