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Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:30 am to Motorboat
DAMN SON!! 
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:33 am to mmmmmbeeer
quote:
I'm excited, of course, but I'm not a baby freak. I'd rather wait for them to invite us or give us word they want us at the hospital. That said, I'm worried the wife will kinda force this invite to happen.
Were y'all at the hospital when your first grand was born? Were you asked to stay away until invited? I need advice on how to handle this with the wife. Probably should've had this convo before today...oh well.
frick that. Get in the car and go down there. Go in the waiting room and text your son that you're there if they need anything and to keep you posted.
That's what you do.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:45 am to mmmmmbeeer
quote:
She's cancelled our plans for the weekend
What were the plans?
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:46 am to Y.A. Tittle
68
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:48 am to Y.A. Tittle
I uh messed up my first child is 46 my oldest gran is 12
Posted on 6/6/25 at 10:49 am to Giantkiller
quote:
frick that. Get in the car and go down there. Go in the waiting room and text your son that you're there if they need anything and to keep you posted.
That's what you do.
This is an old school way of thinking and could cause issues if thats not what the parents want. I'm sure being in the waiting room wouldn't be an issue but if they never invite you back to see the baby until the next day would you be salty? probably so. "we've been in this waiting room all day and they won't let us come back and see the baby?"
Posted on 6/6/25 at 11:16 am to mmmmmbeeer
That's why you just send a quick text and he'll respond when he has a minute. He will have plenty of time where he can sit around and feel completely useless.
Just tell him you don't want to intrude, but yall are excited. plus, you know how mom gets. Do you want us to wait through the process, or do you want to just let us know when it's a good time to visit.
For our kids, we did not want anyone "waiting on us". The process from when you start going in labor can take several hours to an emergency c-section in no time. We told the parents we would let them know when they can come visit. Mine took it personally and were obnoxiously passive aggressive about it afterwards, hers took it in stride and simply said please send an update and pics as soon as you have a minute to breathe and we'll come over when invited.
Just tell him you don't want to intrude, but yall are excited. plus, you know how mom gets. Do you want us to wait through the process, or do you want to just let us know when it's a good time to visit.
For our kids, we did not want anyone "waiting on us". The process from when you start going in labor can take several hours to an emergency c-section in no time. We told the parents we would let them know when they can come visit. Mine took it personally and were obnoxiously passive aggressive about it afterwards, hers took it in stride and simply said please send an update and pics as soon as you have a minute to breathe and we'll come over when invited.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 12:00 pm to mmmmmbeeer
One of the defining moments of my relationship with my MIL was when I told her to go wait in the waiting room and I would come get her when everyone was settled. We have had an “understanding” regarding boundaries ever since.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 12:13 pm to mmmmmbeeer
My daughter has blessed us with two.
I was holding a leg back in the delivery room {birthing suite} for the first one... at their apartment babysitting for the second one. Was a little sad I didn't get to see the second birth but loved the one on one time with my granddaughter.. and it was fun driving her over to the hospital to meet her brother.
edit... daughter was NOT interested in her inlaws or her daddy being around until they got home from the hospital. The inlaws and I both live a little over 2hrs away.
I was holding a leg back in the delivery room {birthing suite} for the first one... at their apartment babysitting for the second one. Was a little sad I didn't get to see the second birth but loved the one on one time with my granddaughter.. and it was fun driving her over to the hospital to meet her brother.
edit... daughter was NOT interested in her inlaws or her daddy being around until they got home from the hospital. The inlaws and I both live a little over 2hrs away.
This post was edited on 6/6/25 at 12:15 pm
Posted on 6/6/25 at 12:18 pm to mmmmmbeeer
Take a series of extended vacations.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 12:24 pm to mmmmmbeeer
I can't imagine having this kind of weird relationship with my kids.
You are acting like your son is some neighbor you barely know.
You are acting like your son is some neighbor you barely know.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 12:27 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:
No offense to your wife OP, but many women do not want their MIL up their arse for childbirth. Others, welcome it with open arms. I’d ask your son which is preferred. Some families want it to be a special moment between parents and child. Some view it as a family day for all parties.
We did not allow anyone in there for the first child. My wife would would have been cool with her mom, but she understood that her mom would try to take over the whole scene, so we waited until kid 2 and told her she could come in at last minute to watch the delivery.
My parents didn’t come to the hospital. I doubt the mother of the baby wants a lot of people around, but popping by to say hi is always nice. But for our first, we had nobody in the hospital at any point in time.
This post was edited on 6/6/25 at 12:29 pm
Posted on 6/6/25 at 12:28 pm to mmmmmbeeer
quote:What do you have better to do than be at the hospital waiting for your grandchild’s birth? Another problem with this world. People with selfish, stupid priorities.
I'd rather wait for them to invite us or give us word they want us at the hospital
Posted on 6/6/25 at 12:32 pm to mmmmmbeeer
Who the frick doesn't go to the hospital for their grandchild's birth? This is weirder than the creampie thing.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 12:32 pm to LouisianaLady
quote:Sorry, but if I had a son, I’d be at the hospital waiting for my son’s child and my grandchild to be born. Why does the mom only get a say and not the father? It’s equally their child, and I’ve given birth.
No offense to your wife OP, but many women do not want their MIL up their arse for childbirth.
How is not going to the hospital for your grandchild’s birth not even a thought?
Posted on 6/6/25 at 12:40 pm to tigergirl10
quote:
What do you have better to do than be at the hospital waiting for your grandchild’s birth? Another problem with this world. People with selfish, stupid priorities.
To assume that to do anything else but what you personally do is selfish is, well….
Some new parents don’t want their parents or in-laws hovering around the birth of their children. For some people, having a human come out of your vagina is a deeply personal thing. It would cause them more stress to be worrying about extended family possibly coming in and out of the room at certain times. More so if the woman is going the natural childbirth route. It’s a LOT.
But to answer the OP’s question, just ask. It’s not too late, especially since your son isn’t the one having the baby. Maybe they are the “come one, come all” type and will be hurt if you don’t come. Maybe they are the private type and would rather you wait. Just ask.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 12:42 pm to The Third Leg
quote:
But for our first, we had nobody in the hospital at any point in time
No one in the delivery room, or no one at the hospital?
Posted on 6/6/25 at 12:42 pm to tigergirl10
quote:
People with selfish, stupid priorities.
YOU are the problem. The mom giving birth says what goes. The mom may also not know if she's going to be in labor for 18 hours before the C-section, etc.
And if you weren't aware, labor wards are tightly controlled, and nobody is getting in, ever, if the parents don't put your names on a list. Don't be the marble head that tries to pressure the mom into putting a bunch of people on the list before she's ready.
AND if she's going to try to breast feed, there's all that skin on skin contact that your unnecessary visit will interrupt. You know what else mom is going to want desperately? To f'ing sleep. Don't be a dick and put pressure on the mom and dad. They'll tell you when your presence is requested. Hell, it may be after they get out of the hospital, but their say goes.
Posted on 6/6/25 at 1:18 pm to tigergirl10
quote:
Why does the mom only get a say and not the father?
Her nudity, her birth, her fatigue... her rules.
You're a woman... how do you not get this?
I'm stoked I got to be there for my daughter... but if my son gets a wife and a child, I'm under no illusions that I'd enjoy the same access.
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