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re: For folks with 2+ kids, what made you stop at 2 or go for a 3rd one?
Posted on 3/2/21 at 7:23 am to joshnorris14
Posted on 3/2/21 at 7:23 am to joshnorris14
quote:
Your next kid would probably prefer to grow up poor than not exist.
Posted on 3/2/21 at 7:27 am to fr33manator
My wife and I talked about having three or four when we got married. After two daughters close together I was ready to stop. She seemed to agree and she had scheduled to get her tubes tied. Then her mother swooped in on her broom and talked her out of it. We now have four, 3 girls one boy. Can't imagine life without them but I still haven't forgiven MIL for butting in. She, MIL, for unrelated reasons now has nothing to do with any of us. She's a princess of a woman.
Posted on 3/2/21 at 7:35 am to rickgrimes
After having a boy with no issues, wife had a lot of complications any time she got pregnant. We did IVF and are expecting a little girl in a few months. I think this will be it for us. I don't care if the guy is a doctor, paying a man to get your wife pregnant while you are in the room just doesn't seem right. Even if it is your seed he's using. I think he winked at me...
Posted on 3/2/21 at 7:39 am to rickgrimes
We decided to settle on 2 kids then after a night of flowing alcohol, my wife took advantage of me and now we have 3
Posted on 3/2/21 at 7:42 am to rickgrimes
Well, my 4th son was us trying for a girl but it didn’t happen. The 5th one was supposed to be a girl, however, one more son later......I went ahead and got the old vas deferans snipped and fried. Good luck on your next being a girl. 
Posted on 3/2/21 at 7:49 am to rickgrimes
quote:
hoping for a girl this time around
Hopefully nowhere close to the age of having kids, but as a guy I could never see myself "hoping" for a girl
Posted on 3/2/21 at 7:50 am to rickgrimes
Slightly younger and have 6 kids. Who is going to work the fields with the gubment collapses and you have to live off the land?
Posted on 3/2/21 at 7:53 am to rickgrimes
Go for a 3rd. Always wish we had more than we did.
Posted on 3/2/21 at 7:58 am to rickgrimes
Going from 1 to 2 was the hard choice for us. I just wasn't sure how I could divide my love for another child. Turns out the division wasn't the thing. It actually multiplied.
We ended up with 7 children. Love every minute of my big family and actually feel kind of bad for those with one or two.
I just buried my best friend at 50 he was one of two. I know his little brother extremely well and can tell you he is at a loss like no other now being an "only" child to his mother (their father died of a heart attack 12 or so years ago).
We ended up with 7 children. Love every minute of my big family and actually feel kind of bad for those with one or two.
I just buried my best friend at 50 he was one of two. I know his little brother extremely well and can tell you he is at a loss like no other now being an "only" child to his mother (their father died of a heart attack 12 or so years ago).
Posted on 3/2/21 at 8:06 am to FelicianaTigerfan
obviously lady Feliciana doesn't read tigerdroppings. lol

Posted on 3/2/21 at 8:07 am to rickgrimes
quote:
We have two boys 5 and 3. We can't decide if we should try for a 3rd one hoping for a girl this time around. On one hand, my wife and I are just about returning to some kind of a set predictable evening and night routine (and we are loving it) after 5 years of disturbed sleeps, diaper changes, potty and sleep training and all the usual craziness that comes with little kids. It seemed like it would never end and we are enjoying our time now and maybe that's a bit selfish.
Identical to us. We have two boys 3 and 5. Youngest just turned three and with it is potty trained. Done with diapers, bed time has finally gotten better. My wife and i are 33 and 31. We wanted a third. But weve had back to back miscarriages (at like 6 weeks) so thats kind of changed plans a little. (that was last fall) now im starting to wonder if we should try for three or not.
Posted on 3/2/21 at 8:08 am to rickgrimes
We wanted 3, but we are now both 38 and feel as though we are just too old to take on another.
We have an 8 and 2 year old. We had a bad miscarriage in the middle.
Sucks because I'll always wonder who the middle child could have been.
We have an 8 and 2 year old. We had a bad miscarriage in the middle.
Sucks because I'll always wonder who the middle child could have been.
Posted on 3/2/21 at 8:49 am to NfamousPanda
quote:
We had one boy and one girl. Saw how much harder having two was than one and how much more expensive it would be and called it quits after two.
I actually thought it was easier going from 2 to 3 kids, than it was going from 1 to 2. Zone defense is easier than man to man, and we were less stressed about the third because we'd seen it all before.
Posted on 3/2/21 at 9:21 am to rickgrimes
quote:
For folks with 2+ kids, what made you stop at 2 or go for a 3rd one?
I'll give you a serious answer.
Our first child, a son, was great. He was difficult, and had some health issues, but he was just incredible. I'd never loved anything like that before, and he sort of took over our lives in the best possible way. By the time he was about 3, we started talking about having a second child because if we waited too much longer the kids would be too far apart in age we thought.
So we had our second son when our oldest was about 4 and a half. And this is true...I was genuinely worried I would not love him as much. I could not imagine feeling the same thing for a second child that I'd felt for the first. Literally had nothing to do with the new kid...just that the first had swallowed so much love I really was concerned there would be none left. I've joked with him about this a bunch as he's grown up which makes him laugh!
Turns out that's not a thing...your love doubles.
But...what does not double is TIME. For as much as I loved the second son, he never ever got as much of my time as my first one did. I suddenly had to split my time between the two of them, which sucked because it meant that I needed to remove attention from the first, but that the second only got half as much as the first had be able to get. I've always felt bad about this.
We realized there that any more kids would break that up even further, and at least for us it would feel like we simply could not give them as much attention as we wanted to. So, we stopped at 2 and got over the fact that we had only sons and no daughters.
Posted on 3/2/21 at 9:29 am to rickgrimes
We lucked out and had one of each back to back, so there's no issue of "trying for" a boy/girl.
I'm your age and man I was feeling it with the second one. I'm sure I don't need to tell you, but that difference from one child to two is more than double the work, and it was pretty rough. Granted mine are 13 months apart, so we had 2 under 2.
Beyond that, I grew up in a 2 child household (as did my wife) and that's just what seems normal to us.
Finally there's the financial aspect. I do pretty well and the wife works too, so we're very comfortable (top ~2ish% household income level, apparently), but I don't consider us rich. I want to provide a certain lifestyle for the family and make sure my kids get to enjoy the kinds of things I did. Things like vacations, private school, extra curriculars, my own car, college, etc, and every additional child stretches the finances just that much further. This isn't to say I would "regret" additional children (although the vasectomy would make me quite suspicious
), but I think 2 makes for the best quality of life for my children and the family as a whole.
The last thing to consider is your wife's age. It probably has come up already, but I'll go ahead anyway...if y'all decide to try, you really should be prepared for the emotional toll of things not going well - meaning complications or worse. She's beyond that "35" point and supposedly that's a major risk factor for all kinds of things. Just something to think about.
I'm your age and man I was feeling it with the second one. I'm sure I don't need to tell you, but that difference from one child to two is more than double the work, and it was pretty rough. Granted mine are 13 months apart, so we had 2 under 2.
Beyond that, I grew up in a 2 child household (as did my wife) and that's just what seems normal to us.
Finally there's the financial aspect. I do pretty well and the wife works too, so we're very comfortable (top ~2ish% household income level, apparently), but I don't consider us rich. I want to provide a certain lifestyle for the family and make sure my kids get to enjoy the kinds of things I did. Things like vacations, private school, extra curriculars, my own car, college, etc, and every additional child stretches the finances just that much further. This isn't to say I would "regret" additional children (although the vasectomy would make me quite suspicious
The last thing to consider is your wife's age. It probably has come up already, but I'll go ahead anyway...if y'all decide to try, you really should be prepared for the emotional toll of things not going well - meaning complications or worse. She's beyond that "35" point and supposedly that's a major risk factor for all kinds of things. Just something to think about.
Posted on 3/2/21 at 9:35 am to joshnorris14
quote:
Your next kid would probably prefer to grow up poor than not exist.
what about the 27th?
Posted on 3/2/21 at 9:38 am to wizard1183
Spent a ton of money on IVF to have our two. One girl and one boy. Wife wanted to have another. I said no. It was enough work and money pit as it was and they aren't getting any cheaper.
Love the ones we have dearly though.
Love the ones we have dearly though.
Posted on 3/2/21 at 9:58 am to rickgrimes
Wife and I had twin boys (will be 2 in April) and we are done. It was a tough pregnancy for her, and financially it would be tough with a 3rd. Plus, I'm 39 and she's 37 and we can't go through the sleepless nights etc. again.
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